Pretty sure she likes me but has boyfriend?

So I asked this girl out from work a month ago after a few months of heavy flirting. She said no because she was seeing someone else, so I stopped pursuing her. She kept flirting with me a lot though and even gave me her number a couple weeks later. I haven't asked her out again because I know she is still seeing this other guy. But there are still a lot of signs that she really likes me.

-she gave me her number and apologizes in person when she is unable to text me back

-when she is talking to the guy I see her looking at me a lot

-when I go to her area at work she stares at me straight in the eye then quickly looks away

-she asks me a lot of questions about my plans after work or on weekends and seems like she is trying to get me to invite her to do something

She may like the other guy, but I think it's pretty clear that she is very interested in me too. Is she conflicted as to who she wants to be with? Should I ask her to hang out more to build a better foundation with her? I can wait for when she's ready, that's what I've been doing, I just don't know if I'm missing my chance by not taking any action.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Ask yourself this: Would you want to date the kind of girl that would hang out with you when she had a boyfriend? Cheat with you, cheat on you.


What Guys Said 1

  • In my opinion, she's enjoying the attention, and you sure are giving it. She flirts, you flirt back. She gives you her number, you text until she doesn't respond.

    I would suggest letting this one go and moving on. The fact she has a boyfriend, you should stop out of respect that you wouldn't want a guy doing such if she was your girl.

    But if you really want to pursue this, my advice is to cut down the attention flow. Be the one to walk away from the conversation, be the one to cut that text messaging session short, be the one talking about things you plan on doing. You need to send a message that you have a life apart from her, and she isn't important enough to take priority over it. After all, you've only known her for some months and never even hung out (from what I can tell), so why should she be that important?

    Also, gphibabe is right, if she's willing to cheat on him now, then down the road, will she be willing to cheat on you?

    • I've been talking to her as little as possible(we do work together), but she keeps approaching me and starting conversations and such. I tell her about all the fun stuff I'm doing so she'll see that I "have a life", but she has expressed interest in doing these things WITH me, like she's trying to coax an invite out of me.

      I've known her for 3 years, and she asked me out this summer. My life was rotten at the time so I didn't start anything. There's something between us, just bad timing so far.

    • Well when you do ask her along, which eventually you should do, make sure it's an event where you aren't 1-on-1 with her. You give some attention, but not your full attention. Don't ignore her when you are out obviously, but she's not the star of the show either.

      Tell her something like "I had a great time" afterward, then just leave it alone for a week. Showing her interest, then turning around and cutting it down keeps her guessing. The moment she gets bored with you, she'll lose interest.