Should I tell my internet crush dude about my body flaws?

Hey Guys-

I've been talking with this guy I met online at a dating website. We're both mid 30's. We exchanged "headshots" and seem to have pretty good "phone" chemistry. We've even engaged in hot chat a few times. He told me that his body photos are a little old, that he's gained a few pounds but still looks pretty much the same.I don't mind that.but I think that HE thinks I'm thinner than I am because my photo showed the real "me" from shoulders up, but I cropped it so he didn't see that I'm a bit thick from my chest on down.Now, I'm a person who wants to get to know someone, but I want to be honest with him, without pointing out my "body image issues".which won't make me seem attractive if I say it like "uh, dude, I'm thick with heavy legs and a belly.but I hide it.UGH!" I've lost some weight and am working hard to lose more.(4 pants sizes) but am a 16/18 now, so I'm still a bigger gal than those skinny chicks.From my photo you can't tell I'm heavier, but I dress well, and think I'm a sexy, flirty girl, but I'm afraid to tell him.he might be turned off about my thickness, and would rather meet him and hope he likes me for that so unlikely?

MEN- do you WANT all the details first with the opportunity to say no thanks?

LADIES -How much do you say to a guy you haven't met yet?

We are planning to meet, and I will try to look good for him, but I guess I can't control how he would be or not be attracted to me.

thanks, and please, no rude responses.

  • Tell him outright that you are a thick girl...even tell him the dress size you wear!
    Vote A
  • Allude to
    Vote B
  • Ask him
    Vote C
  • Have this conversation on email, so it's not as awkward on the phone
    Vote D
  • Wait until you meet...and don't say anything. let chemistry work for itself
    Vote E
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Poll text didn't pick up."B" should say "allude to fact that I am not in bikini shape and wait for him to ask details."C" is ask him what size last girlfriend was, and note differences from that.



Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't necessarily have to tell him outright, it would be easier to just send him a current full photo of yourself and let the picture do the talking. Never talk down of yourself around a guy you're trying to attract because it's extremely unattractive. You have to project self-confidence and a love of self.

    He definitely needs to know before you meet, that way you can weed him out if needed, without the in-person embarrassment.

    Best of Luck!

    • Thanks. I'm sending him a recent photo now. I appreciate your sensitivity. : )

    • Show All
    • Sarah- you're right...don't wanna draw attention to that...focus on best assets, so to speak : )

    • I hope it works out for you :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Details are good. Especially over the internet, seeing as we have no idea what you really look like in person. We need to know what we are getting into or we will arrive more nervous and guarded when the time comes to meet face to face.

  • I would suggest that you not withhold the information, but let him be the one who asks for details. If he is the man for you, God will prepare him, and even bring up the question at the right time. Just don't withhold it, circumvent it, or otherwise deceive him.


What Girls Said 4

  • For God's sake send him a recent picture and make him do the same. Who on earth dosn't have a digital camera now days? What do you two have to be ashamed about. You like each other and it is just plain stupid to hide your flaws. If he decided not to talk to you anymore because you have a few dimples on you ass why would you want to talk to him anyway. In fact I suggest you find the worst picture of yourselves and exchange them. This way you know what the hell you're getting into and it could be a good laugh for the two of you. Just don't tell him what you think your flaws are in text. Us women tend to extremely over exaggerate our own flaws in our minds. If you "tell" him about them it will sound way worse than they actually are. Just send him a whole picture of the real you.

    • You go girlfriend, send him that picture with confidence in your sexiness!

    • Thanks....i think you're a bit more confident than I....i will definitely send a photo...but not my WORST one..YIKES. ; )

      thank u!!

  • I think you should tell him before you meet him in person because if he only see your shoulder up and he is going to assume that you skinny. It's going to make things awkward between you two when you guy meet in person because you not going to look like your picture. You never know that some guy can overlook your weight if you are fun, flirty and confidence about yourself. Good luck!

  • Its better to tell him these on an email and explain everything to him so that he won't be surprised when he sees you

  • Tell him the honest truth so that he won't be dissapointed and lose interest in you.