How do you know someone likes you for you and not just for sex?


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Most Helpful Guys

  • Withholding sex and see how they treat you.

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    • Withholding sex then becomes a game in a relationship turning the relationship into something that is conditional. It then turns into something which goes on for the life of the relationship which is never healthy because it began by playing these unhealthy games.

  • Most of the time not all the time u will feel special he will take his time with u not rush the feeling of lovemaking this tells a lot

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What Guys Said 45

  • Monogamy is a false norm. Most people give the appearance they are monogamous because it is what we are supposed to do.

    Yet studies indicate that something over 40% of couples have had one or both members secretly cheat, 49% of millennial's don't want a monogamous relationship and 21% of couples have at least dabbled in non-monogamy. So pervasive is monogamy in our culture that it impacts much of how we think about things.

    Even those who practice ethical and consensual non-monogamy (ECNM) continue to operate under the norms of monogamy because they know nothing else. Your question is a clear example of monogamous thinking and the norms of monogamy on our culture.

    Monogamous thinking creates scarcity rather than abundance. If a guy having sex with you is coming from scarcity then the thinking may well be that he is only hanging around you for the sex and there is no good way for you to know anything different.

    People go through their whole life in monogamous relationships in a bit of an insecure, clingy attached way because of it. But a guy having an abundance of great sex with multiple people and the guy still comes to you, then you know it is not about the sex.

    The real issue with your question though is your own feelings of insecurity or inadequacy as a woman: If you knew it is not about the sex you may well ask questions like; how do you know someone likes you for you and not just because you are so pretty, such a great cook, so fun to be with, live in such a nice place or any of hundreds of other variables? So you see what's wrong with your question?

    In monogamous culture people get hung up on needing to be "the one," "being good enough" and people find their value in others placing value on them rather than finding their value within themselves. Because of the attachments in monogamy you are never challenged to have to find that value in yourself.

    A business which has a monopoly has no incentive to be the best improving from within, just like people in a monopoly relationship which we call monogamy.

    An ECNM culture helps you grow and find value within yourself because you are not looking to others to validate you. When you don't look for others to validate you then you enjoy the moments of your life totally spent in the present and are motivated to do things because of the enjoyment you get from them, not from what someone else gets. You have sex because you enjoy it and want to, not because the guy enjoys it or to have a guy like you.

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  • They are willing to do things with you with out the expectation of sex. If a guy always expects you to put out or pushes it when you are with him then his mind is more focused on sex. If he truly likes you then he will want to just do things with you.

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  • If they want to do other things with you besides sex that don't always lead up to sex. Like just hanging out. If you are also the one to have to tell them no towards the end up hanging out or they bring it up everytime then chances are just using you for sex. Or could just be they are so into you it turns them on. Also depends on their age.

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  • You don't have sex with him and see what happens.

    I have many female friends I like, but not for sex. We have never had sex together.

    I also have had female sexmates that I don't really like.

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  • Do they want to spend time with you besides sex? If yes than you have your answer. Typically if i just want someone for sex i just come over for sex, and i leave when its over.

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  • It's difficult to know that since a person's personality may not necessarily be so attractive as much as he may be experienced in bed. If he tries to overcompensate for his lack of personality and charm with his skills in bed. 9 times out of 10 he is in for the sex.

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  • uhm. wait. is that.. is that an ass as your profile pic? and ur 30. girl, i lookt into the 6million possible futures, and in every single one of them they just want u for sex.

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  • if you can't go a date without sex then its just sex

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  • Because you want to stay with him\her even when you have better chances of getting better sex. (Probably... )

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  • They actually enjoy spending time with you and ask to do things with you. If the conversations are about other things other than sexual stuff.

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  • @mezzymezzmez and I chat very much and we love each other. We don't have the possibility to have sex (at least in the near future), but it doesn't effect on us any way.

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  • If he's brining up sex in every conversation then he is after sex. also if tell him that u r not ready for sex right now, and he starts to distant then he was/is after sex.

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  • If they are doing things for you and you haven't had sex in a few days and he still doing things for you and not bugging for sex then no they are not using you

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  • Don't have sex with them and see if they still like you 😁

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  • Whrn you try to fuck them and they say they jist wanna chill

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  • If he still hug you and make out after sex
    Then that’s sure sign he likes you for you.

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  • By how often they bring up sex, and how often they just want to talk about you and who you are as a person/

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  • People dislike me in both regards so I’ve never had that concern

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  • If he likes spending time with you with out the agenda of having sex

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  • when you can spend hours talking to each other about anything that doesn't involve sex

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What Girls Said 15

  • That's something I've always had issues figuring out. I think if they are willing to take you out and then drive you home without trying to come in and spend the night they care for you. If they take random silly pictures of you and with you, and if they don't instantly try and get you in bed if they respect you and how you feel on the bedroom aspect.

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  • Don't have sex with anyone until you are married and the one that sticks will be the one that likes you because of you

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  • You test them by not having sex with them and see how they react to that.

    Other ways to show is if they listen to your problems, they take you out to public, they care for you, they wouldn’t do all that if it was just for sex.

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  • You let them know that you respect yourself and aren’t ready for sex and if they start acting dry than that means that they only wanted sex

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  • They take their time to know you and not your body.

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  • Don’t have sex?
    I don't know 11 months and we haven’t had sex

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  • You dont have sex with them? And if they stick around youve got your answer.

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  • If you hang out several times and it doesn't automatically lead to hooking up

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  • By changing your profile pic

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  • Trust your gut

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  • Why do u need a reasonable explanations?

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  • when they don't ask you for sex.

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  • I cannot know...

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  • It's a package deal, so just go with the flow.

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  • You really feel it in your gut. When he is able to spend real quality time without the need to have sex, you have a real connection. You have to have fun not only in bed but also out of it

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