Most Helpful Guys
I don't know. I mean if you aren't enjoying your company together then I don't see much point to it. I never found intelligence to be such a strong prerequisite though in a partner despite of being ambitious and doing well in school and being a member of Mensa and so forth.
What I found important is that we enjoy each other's company and that I can take some interest in what she does. The girl might not be academically so intelligent, for example, but she might be an amazing artist and amaze me with her creativity and artwork. She might be an amazing athlete. She might be a beautician with a great artistry to cosmetics or a fashion designer into designing clothes. She might just have lots of street smarts and great social skills.
So there was always some angle I could usually find to appreciate in a girl provided she's passionate and very skillful at something. It doesn't have to be scholarly whatsoever in my case, though I do prefer a girl is passionate about something at least. What I find a turn off is a girl with no interesting passion to work towards at all, like a girl who desires nothing more than to be a housewife. That's very boring to me.
The purpose of dating is to learn what is really important to you in a long term relationship - because most people really have little idea until they have had some experience.
You should also treat a potential partner like you would treat someone you were looking to hire for an important position in your business: your first few dates are primarily for interviewing them on any and every area involving long-term compatibility. You must do this at the very start, because you must understand that YOU CANNOT CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE, so it's on you to find a partner who is ALREADY the way you want. Once you get into a relationship, you have to accept them as they are - the good and the bad.
It sounds like this is an important issue for you, so you need to make a decision. And next time, this needs to be something you figure out very quickly - before you commit - so that if the guy isn't at least close to your level, you can end it before you have made any significant commitment.
Most Helpful Girls
Hi and I feel for you. Just the fact that you voice your worries here makes you special.
You are both so intensely involved in your studies that you don't find sufficient time to be intimate and talk. I see that he seems to be prioritizing his studies over the intimate relation he has with you. He is focused on achieving his goals and does not let affection, sex or philosophical talks deter him to reach his goal.
He may be older in age but his behavior is clearly lagging a few years behind his mental age.
If you want to pursue this relation, you MUST have a serious talk about where the entire situation is leading. Make a PRO and CON list, listing all the positive things you have with him and the negative ones too. Do not be biased by your feelings and desire to continue this relation. You must put down all the arguments, even if you realize that the CON arguments are more numerous. The number of CON arguments may weigh less than the number of PRO. Take time to do that list and don't hurry. Once you are sure that you have enumerated them all, share this list with him and together go over the list without anger or fear to hurt or upset your loved one. You must come to the same conclusion and only then can both of you see whether your love has a chance at all.
You must never accuse him of something but let hims speak out his mind and feelings.
If, and I hope it does not happen, you realize that despite the talk you had, he (or you) are not willing to make concession that are acceptable for both, then, and then only, you must take the hard decision to prioritize what is more beneficial to your ambitions and goals in life.
I wish you the best of luck
This is exactly what was going on between me and my boyfriend.. oh ex boyfriend!
He’s older than me.. I graduated university last year. He didn’t even go to any university!
Just because he works and get ‘money’, he thinks he has more value and he’s the clever one bla bla...
Aside the fact that we were -and still- so perfect together when it comes to emotions and love, I couldn’t stand talking to him about scientific stuff! His answer is always ‘ how is that beneficial? And where will ever use this info in real life?’
These responds got on my nerves! I thought, and still do, that I’m smarter than him.
I didn’t face him because i knew that would hurt him, but still i made my point clear.
We eventually broke up.
I do believe I deserve someone better! And so do you.
I believe you’re gonna take a good choice. Make yourself proud!