How long do you talk to someone before you start dating?

Updates:
I know the boy I'm talking to right now is interested in dating but I'm not ready right now (we've been talking for about 2 weeks). I was just wondering what the average time for everyone else was before they begin dating someone.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • If I meet a girl at a party. Within the first few minutes, I am going to ask her what her name is. I won't tell mine, but wait to see if she asks me mine. If she doesn't ask me my name, I know she is not interested in me and I move on. If she does ask me my name, I will keep talking to her a little longer and ask her for her phone number, probably around the 10 minute mark. I will leave after getting the phone number, and then wait around a week to ask her for a coffee date. So to answer your question, how long do you talk to someone before you start dating: 10 or more minutes, then I ask the phone number, and then I wait a week to giver her a call and ask her for coffee. I would sure as heck not talk to someone for 2 weeks before asking them out. The phone is to make dates; it's not for chatting (that's what you do on the dates itself).

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    • The exception to this rule would be a classmate. Then you would wait till the semester is over (or if you are in a rush, maybe mid-semester).

  • Between one day to a week. To ask you out all I need is to be attracted to you. The real getting to know each other happens face to face.
    I like to talk to the girl at least twice for the purpose to gauge if she's crazy or not. If I dont see any red flags or deal breakers I'm going to ask you out. If I haven't asked you out after two weeks I most likely am not going to ask you out. I dont like to waste time texting I much rather have face to face interaction.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • If we're talking a day time/brunch coffee date, then maybe a few hours casually chatting online to see if you have chemistry. A bit of time to look around at their public facebook posts (nothing weird, but enough to weed out the ones still married or hung up on exes). If we're talking "exclusivity" dating, that might take a few weeks for me. I want to know emotionally what I'm walking into there.

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  • Depending on the connection and conversations. If the guy isn't just looking for sex, and has not mentioned or implied sex for 2 weeks during our spontaneous and intellectual conversations, then I think 2-3 weeks would do. If that's the case, I would feel as if I'd "known" him for a few months, even though we've talked for less than a month. I would be able to feel it.

    If it's a guy who's not sincere, just randomly talking here and there (every 3 days) asking only "What's up?" or "What you doing?" without other meaningful conversations, or even A conversation, then even if a month has passed, I still won't date him, and probably won't be talking to him past 2 weeks. I'll give 3 chances, and each time I think he's not going to make it through, that count as 1 chance lost. I don't mean that it's not appropriate to ask question like "How are you?" as long as he actually cares, not just as filler. A guy that I would date, needs to have had many good conversations with me, that we text every few minutes, here and there, but still able to text until midnight with each other while doing our daily tasks.

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What Guys Said 29

  • That entirely depends on how well we hit it off. you can talk to someone forever and never date them

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  • It varies from person to person. I say anywhere between 5 minutes and 2 weeks. The first time you talk, you should know if you want to date somebody. After 3 weeks, you should know if it’s somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with. Or at least be willing to try.

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  • Some it’s after few hours. Some it’s after months or longer.

    The point is. There really isn’t a right answer. Stupid choices but that’s the risk in dating too.

    Personally. Don’t be afraid to talk and ask personal questions to get insight of a person.

    But if something don’t feel right. Listen to that inner voice! Sometimes. Something too good to be truth. May not be true.

    I really hate players

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  • On a week or so is the normal time.
    Question, does he see you as a goal?, because if its like that it comes well for you but you must care that the goal in the end must be reachable.
    If the answer is not, most likely is that he start to think about you as a friend and goes out with other girls.

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  • Well, I mean I've nwver really understood the whole, we are just talking thing, but I say if you like him a lot, you should at least state your intentions. If you don't want to be with him than don't, but at some point you have to jump in the deep end, or get off the diving board.

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  • Usually about 5 seconds. I just say, "Hey, bitch! Wanna be my old lady?" And she's all over me in a heartbeat!!

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    • Well, Rosie, there's no specific time limit, it happens when it happens. But, if you're looking for a relationship by a certain "date", like, let's say, by the time you're 21, and the guy you're chasing hasn't taken the hint in the past year or three, I think it's time to switch gears and zero in on someone else! Your biological clock keeps ticking louder and louder every day! Guys don't have that to worry about! Now, if you're either shooting blanks or aren't interested in having kids, you've got nearly all the time in the world!

  • Not long at all if I really want to date them because I don't see any point in waiting. If someone wants me to chase them I will just give up on them and look for someone else. People are not really that special that they are worth waiting for.

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  • I've talked to girls/women for decades and still haven't had a date with any of them. I suspect your ideas of dating, love and sex are a bit antiquated.

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  • The only reason that guy is waiting is because he is desperate. No man who respects himself would be playing your therapist for weeks just to get a date.

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  • Depends on the chemistry we have. I'd say it would likely take between 3 weeks to 2 months. We would have to meet each other multiple times and find out if we like each other or not.

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  • I could talk to someone for days months maybe even years before I would know they were even interested in dating.

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  • once we got to know each other and know we are interested in the same or similar expectations

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  • Max a month. After a month of talking if you don’t know if you want them or not you probably are very indecisive or you really don’t want em.

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  • As the big bang theory states. About 3 years of on-off dating and marriage only to have the husband humiliate himself by weary a slutty orange dress

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  • TALK is Not NECESSARY for GUYS to decide a DATE... only IDIOTS will set a DATE to TALK to GIRLS...

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  • Few months

    Made the mistake of dating right away when I was younger

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  • Umm immediately? That’s kinda the point?

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  • Forever

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  • You don't really have to wait.

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  • Well eternity is not long enough sometimes

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What Girls Said 8

  • It depends on the guy and connection we feel. I've taken months, even years before I felt ready to date a guy!

    Usually we start off as friends and see where it goes from there.

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  • For me it depends on how much they are willing to show me their personality. I find personality attractive so the more they hide it, the more I will just want to talk and not jump right into dating.

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  • It all depends on what the vibe is between you two and your comfort zone. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. And when we first met it was online and I started dating him after about two months of getting to know him as a friend first.

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  • It depends on you. If you ain’t ready don’t go for it.

    Honestly I believe more you like person more likely you’ll want to date them.

    There were guys I liked instantly (only few though) and guys who I went on a date 10 times and felt nothing.

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  • It could be anything from, 1 week, to 1 day or even 1 hour.

    I use some dating app, and I have met with either gender for a night out after chatting in app for around 30 minutes

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  • I talked to a guy for a year and we never became official, I think it just depends on the situation and is different for everyone! It should be when you’re comfortable and ready to go in that direction.

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  • It depends on the person. In the past it was usually a good month.

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  • Couple weeks

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