How do I Relationship?

I struggle with telling straight stories. I go around the bush and then finally I tell the truth. I seem to have issues with being 100% honest and I think that's because I'm scared of the response or reaction I will get. I'm certain I'm this way because when I was 5, I was molested and it only stopped when I was 17.
I'm in a relationship and one day I would love to marry him but I'm pretty sure he's going to end it if I can't figure out how to be 100% truthful. My personality is bright and flirtatious at times and I don't think I can see when it's simply too much. Back in February 2017 my boyfriend had a weird gut feeling and went through my phone while I was sleeping. He found that one of my co workers (I've known him for a long time, and he helped get me the job) said I owed him a dance for getting me into the company I said "haha yes I do"."
And then he said things like "I'm going to miss your ass." if I had to leave for the day. Sometimes in the morning he would message me and say "good morning sunshine"
Those messages I responded with "haha" or just "good morning" but my boyfriend said it was still leading him on because I'm talking to him.
Now whenever we have an argument he says "this is why I can't fully trust you." Or "this is why I don't trust you."
I just feel like I got robbed of my childhood and something I just can't say "ya that did happen" I lie about the dumbest things. It makes me feel like a terrible person, even though I'm not trying to hurt anyone.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Do you believe in karma or god or some sort of superstition?

    The reason I ask is if I were to ask you something and your first instinct was to lie and then I said.

    Is that true? Do you swear to god? Do swear on the health of your mother that is the honest truth?
    Do you think you would tell the truth because you believe god might do something bad to you if you lie, do you think that would force you to tell the truth?

    If there is something you could swear by that would definitely make you tell the truth. Then tell your boyfriend to ask you to swear to whatever it is that you fear... in order to make you tell the truth.

    Your boyfriend will see that you are trying by telling him exactly how to make you tell the truth.

    Plus you will learn that telling the truth isn't that painful. It will teach you to overcome your instincts.

    And your boyfriend will now have reason to believe in you and your future together.

    Find whatever forces you to tell the truth and then tell your boyfriend.

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