We’ve been dating for a few weeks. When should I invite him over?

So I have been talking to a guy for a few weeks and went on two dates. His schedule is really hectic so we thought maybe we could do a cooking at home date for third time at my place since I live significantly closer to where we both work. My friend won’t shut up about it. She said I should not let him over until I see his house and that I still shouldn’t let him come over for at least 60 days. He said I could come over but we both think it might have to wait a couple weeks just because he works so much and gets up at 4am whereas I get up at 6am.

I think that’s a bit excessive what she’s saying. We aren’t sleeping together or anything. But she said when things go wrong to not tell her even if get raped.
Updates:
So when I said he has a hectic schedule, I meant he works 70-80 hours a week.

We talked about it. We are going out a couple more times then he will come over. His roommates each have small kids and they have an agreement that a new person has to be in a serious relationship first before coming over. I get that. But he knows I will not be sleeping with him until we are serious.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Honestly I don't think it matters that much when it comes to who goes to who's house. You have same chance of being raped in both situations. What your friend is saying is excessive.

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  • If a girl invites me over to hers I am going to think she wants to be physically intimate. So, if you aren't sleeping together he's going to think you want to based on the cooking date.

    Really it's up to you on the idea of when, and it's possible to have a dinner date and not have sex. Your friend saying that bit about rape is way too far. Yes it is excessive what she's saying. I do think it all sounds perfectly rational what your reasons are, but the friend has a point in terms of just having a think about what inviting a guy over and if you're ready.

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    • James_R... her friend is giving her good advice, and it's not excessive at all..., As a retired law enforcement officer, we had many cases of women being raped, some tortured by some guy they just met. I could tell you stories that would make your blood boil. There is a lot of evil people in this world whom look just normal

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    • James_R... my intentions were not to put all men in that category, and I'm sorry if I offended you. Men have also been raped, tortured and murdered in the same scenario., so therefore I concur.

    • Offended is a word people use far too often today in my opinion. I am not offended, at all, my intent was that generalisations have some basis in fact but do not represent all people in all cases. You're good! 😊

Most Helpful Girl

  • Mmm I agree with your friend. I think you should go to his house first. i wouldn't let him know where I live just yet. just to make sure he's not cray cray or anything. That's what I've always done

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    • Plus he seems like he has a lot of excuses. Make sure he's nt married or anything

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    • Lol, dude, it’s been like a month, calm down, it’s not that deep. Why are you so paranoid?

    • Have u even met this guy yet?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • Tell your friend if she keeps financially objectifying men she can only expect and deserve to be seen as a sexual object by men.

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  • Since your not sleeping together or anything, I suggest you invite him over but have some other friends over too incase anything happens.

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  • You should wait a bit more in my opinion unless you're already ready for the next step inviting a guy or girl over suggests

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  • Whatever happens you need to not listen to your friend. She's clueless

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  • At this point, I think it would be fine as long as you two are on the same page.

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  • You do it when you feel COMFORTABLE

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  • Your friend is wrong. She sounds jealous to me,

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  • Your friend sounds jelly

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  • You need a new friend

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What Girls Said 8

  • Your friend is correct!! He could rape you or kill you. You need to wait at least 60 days, regardless of the circumstances. You do not know him. I'm retired law enforcement, and we had a case of a women who was killed in her home. It was a guy she met on a dating website, and he MURDERED HER!!!

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    • I agree, and why is he working 70-80hrs a week yet still needs roommates. Something's off here

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    • @fantasticas thanks in appreciate it. i think he's married too or has a side thing. but hey, we tried to help her. she's a bit naive

    • @SouthernGirl23 That’s a really bitchy thing to say. You’re making assumptions on someone you have less knowledge of than I do. He works the same field my dad did when I was a kid and guess what? My dad was doing 70 hour weeks lol. I’m not naive, you’re just thick skulled. Take our condescension somewhere else ma’am.

  • It depends. Your friend is only looking out for you. I would say about 4-5 dates in, I'll be okay letting him over (so about a month or two)
    Last boyfriend, can't remember well but think he came over about the 3 rd date and we just talked (plus my roommates were there so, I had like backup.)

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    • congrats on the new possibility of something serious :) I totally get his roommate's request

  • Lol if you want to have sex then invite him over 😂
    It will lead to sex after dinner... most definitely

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  • I have to agree with ur friend
    Because he maybe a nice guy but do u actually know how he acts or behaves when he is either not around u or around people?
    U need to be cautious and etc

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  • I’ve been with my boyfriend for a month and I spent 3 days with him at his apartment after he asked me to be his girlfriend

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  • Do ittttttt

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  • Don’t listen to your friend. Trust your instinct!

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  • Maybe go to his house first

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