Torn between 2 women, but not the way you think, read?

So, I fell in love with a friend. A few months ago I made my interest known to her . She made it kind of obvious she didn't felt the same way about me. So I figured I was in the friend zone. A friend of mine suggested some steps to reverse this (I know here is controversy about this but that's not the issue). I knew it was going to take long, that I was supposed to take some distance from her and I'm supposed to take interest in other girls and let her notice this. Now here comes the tricky part.

At the beginning it looked like it wasn't working. I wasn't actively looking for other girls mainly because I still had feelings for her. But several things happened. I started to realize this girl I was in love with was really complicated, and even if I managed to end up with her, it was going to be a difficult relationship. But my feelings tell me It didn't matter, I still loved her even with all her defects. I wasn't closed to the idea of meeting someone else that could actually make me forget about her, but I was willing to give it a last try.

THEN... I met another girl that I must admit, is prettier, easier to hang out with, and looks like she likes me from the beginning. Since I wasn't actually concerned about her liking me, I was relaxed about her, so that actually made her more attracted to me.

Its been a while and I must confess I do like this new girl, and maybe I could develop feelings for her inn the future, ...but...

I still have deep feelings for the other girl, and what's (I honestly don't know if its worst or best) of it all...she is starting to respond to the distancing and change of my attitude towards her. IN other words, she is showing signs that she could actually take me out of the friend zone, and a mutual friend confirmed this.

Now, this friend warms me that...this girl I'm in love with, its not good for me, and that she will always be trouble. And my logic agrees. My brain is telling me to go to the other girl, the new one, and learn to love her instead. My heart is telling me to don't care about what anybody says, and screw logic. This is what I have been wanting for some time, I dreamed of the moment this girl I really love would take notice of me, and she finally has...but all the sense in the world points to the other direction... Plus, I think it wouldn't be fair to the new girl cause if I go with her, its going to be some time until I stop having feelings for the other girl. What do you think?


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What Girls Said 2

  • I say screw logic and follow your heart. I recently moved to Australia, and broke up with the one guy I can honestly say I ever loved because logically, an intercontinental relationship wasn't ideal. My heart told me to wait it out and try the long distance thing (after all I was only going to be gone for one year) but my brain told me that it wasn't the best thing to do. I've been dating around trying to get over him, but it's not working. And he recently wrote me a message saying that he was still head over heals in love with me and that he wanted to try the long distance relationship thing, and I wrote him a message saying that I didn't love him anymore, which was THE hardest thing I've ever had to do, and it was a complete lie. But I didn't want him to just sit around and wait for me, I couldn't do that to him, but my heart desperately wanted to try it too. Let's just say I'm regretting my decision. My advice: follow your heart, as hard as it may be to do, if it's meant to be, it will work out.

  • I think the first girl does seem like trouble. She could just want you because she sees you are starting to take an interest in another female. So, she's jealous and wants to prove that you still like her.

    I've been in love situations where I wanted to trust and go with my heart instead of logic. Most of the time I did. It never turned out good. I know, though, that it's awfully hard to go against what you are feeling and solely go by logic.


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