Dating but not offically boyfriend & girlfriend?

Background Info

-We're both freshmen in college

-We met at the beginning of this semester

-We hung out a bunch during school

-Over break we text just about every night

-She broke up with her ex-bf of a year in june/july

I asked in late november if we could be official, but she still needed time from her break up, which was fine by me. Then, before winter break I asked again what were because I thought it was important to clarify since we weren't going to see each other for a month. She said that we were dating but not official. She said she couldn't put enough into relationship at that point to be fair to me. She also said that with finals and all that stress she wanted to think about being official over break when things would calm down, and that way she'd be able to really think about it with a clear head. Anyways my question is, when I get back to school and see her should I bring it up again? Or is this something I should just wait for her to bring up? I just don't wanna seem like I'm pressuring her into making it official. Thanks in advance!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say that this girl is very questionable. And yes I would bring this topic up again soon, if you get the "am still not ready" speech again, I would tell her nicely but assertively that "if that is the case I will be starting to date other girls then because even though I like you, I can't wait for ever." This will do one of 3 things. 1, By her reaction, if she doesn't seem to care then I don't need to tell you, you'll already know. 2, if she reacts in anger it may show that she cares but it may also show she was just using you. 3 If she reacts in sadness or disagreement it may show that she does care for you and that you do mean a lot to her.

    • Yeah I'm not great at reading girls, but she's definitely a tough one to get a read on. Anyways, that's a good idea. I have a second question though. We're supposed to hangout soon before school starts this weekend (we live 30 min from each other.) Should I ask about it then (it would be about 25 days after I asked her before break) or should I wait and ask when we go back to school in about 2 weeks? Thanksin advance!

    • Show All
    • Well, you need to start a conversation that doesn't start on that topic but ends up there. You know more about her so talk about something she likes or is interested in and slowly ease your way to, "So I want to ask you, are you still hurt from your last relationship?" If you leave it like that, it will give you a pretty cut and dry answer if she if worth going forward with, or just staying friends for now and waiting til a better time. Good Luck.


    • Alright, thanks a ton man! I really appreciate it

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would leave it a bit after exams are over so she can actually think this through properly - there's nothing like rushing into a relationship that you're not ready for!

    Yes do ask her again, but try to leave enough time for her to start wondering why you haven't asked her (in my experience this makes a girl like a guy more, stupid I know) - you should be able to pick up on her body language and hints when she's ready to make it official

    • Well, our winter break is about a month long so I was gonna talk to her when we go back. (I figured it'd give her a month of freedom to really think about what she wants.)

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