Most Helpful Guys
Not to justify it ethically (I don't think in those ethical terms, I just try to understand social norms in a descriptive sort of way), it's probably tied to the differences in fertility between males and females. Females have a crueler biological clock that way which starts declining rapidly as they grow older:
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not many people care unless its like totally visible... but its the same thing the other way around. 10 years difference? no one cares... 30 years difference? people will notice.
Most Helpful Girl
The why is easy - It's not the norm.
But does that matter? I think depending on the people involved; what others think may or may not be important. If you're a person in this situation and you care about others opinions, then you may not be able to handle it. people can be cruel relentlessly.
But if you don't care, and you want it, and you stand up for yourself and your partner - you have all the power and all the odds to make it awesome.
I have dated a few several year younger men (10+ years difference) which has suited both parties remarkably well. Being in the same place/side of things in life is to prefer (children/goals/dreams) and obviously similar platform regarding values tend to have a larger importance if there is an age difference.
What worked for me had a lot to do with personality. As a woman when you get a little older, you know who you are in a whole different sense (you think you do when you're in your 20s, but life has a lot in store for you yet.) Life experience is priceless. Knowing a bit more about yourself changes a lot of things that sometimes act like road blockers when younger - wants and needs, jealousy, other insecurities, anxiety and worry. Taught behavior is still dominant. When you get older, you have more of chosen behavior - allowing you to be who you want to be without parental voices in your ears. Also, less tradition based maybe, a bit more free spirited.
Then maturity plays a huge part for the guy who's younger. He needs to be mature enough to handle it, and know what he needs and wants and be able to communicate it. We need to be compatible. We're not "growing together" the way people do if both are 20. You skip a lot of that complicated stress and unnecessary steps really of trying to be what the other wants you to be.
In my experience, most times when a guy chooses an older woman - it's because it's a fit. A man doesn't choose a cougar if it isn't what he actually wants.
What a younger man gets most times with an older woman is less drama, more experimental and fun things that is a less complicated process, and in my case - less dependency on others (friends and family). There is also less power games played in the relationship, less fights, clearer communication and most things are in check in a very different way from when one is younger, too.
I realize it sounds like a generalization and of course a relationship like this doesn't work if not both are mature enough to handle it.
But I have LOVED mine <3