He is not the same after having our first date - Does he not like me?

I met this guy through social media. After exchanging numbers and chatting a lot, we finally met yesterday. We never saw each other irl.
The date lasted 2 hours but i have a really bad feeling: He doesn't like me. He was quite cold and it was awkward and there were many silent moments. But he mentioned smth about a second date, but i think he just said it without meaning it...

after the date he didn't text me at all as he used to. I looked at my phone so many times to see if he texts, but there was nothing.

Then today - exactly 24 hours later - he texted me how i am. I replied ofc. And then we just had smalltalk and again he doesn't seem as interested anymore, unfortunately...

i really liked him, a lot, so it hurts.

Should i text him and say that he doesn't have to be polite and text me, he can just quit contact with me if he doesn't feel me? Obviously his behaviour changed completely and I wanna know if i should move on or not. I can't stand this not knowing how he feels about me.

What should i do? Please help me...
My problem is not him not liking me. I understand if he doesn't like me, I dont wanna force anything.

My problem is that Im not sure if i should text him and ask him how he feels about me. I wanna know if i should move on or not...
I texted him and told him to be honest just like i was honest.

Apprently my looks and personality aren't the problem, but my religion is. Im catholic and he is muslim. LOL!


Most Helpful Guy

  • You might be reading too much into it, but it's hard to say. I think if he wasn't interested at all, he wouldn't have bothered to text you again, but he did. Having said that, I can understand how you feel so I'd be honest and confront him on it point blank. Say something like, I enjoyed our date, however I get the feeling maybe you didn't or you're not interested in more, am I right? I'm ok if that's the case, I'd just like to know so we don't waste each others time."

    • Thank you very much! As soon as im brave enough ill text him smth like that. Thank you!!!

Most Helpful Girls

  • I also think you read too much into it. Please DON’T ask him where you guys stand. You only had ONE date with this guy. I think you made the mistake to expect a lot from your date. Tbh if he wasn’t interested into meeting you, he would have canceled. I also think he was turned off by your insecurities. Next time (I’m pretty sure he’ll ask you out again if he likes talking to you), be confident and enjoy your date. We all look better on social media. He asked you out because he enjoyed talking to you and he felt some kind of connection. Guys pull away sometimes. Give him space and time. If you pressure him into something he’s not ready for (you have to keep in mind that you only had one date), he might get scared and run away. Be your genuine sexy confident self and let him come to you and pursue you. Also, keep your options open and date other guys. You’ll feel less anxious about his behavior and more confident about yourself.

    • This is some really good advice. Thank you so so much, you really helped me out! <3

  • Sometimes take a day to respond to not seem too pushy. Let him reach out and if you want text him and see how that goes

    • Yeah, i gave him his space, i waited. But when he wrote, it was very short.

      He just doesn't like me, it okey, i gotta accept it...

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    • Yes, Im doing that, thank you :)

    • Playing games like this is never a good idea lol it will just fall apart even more. I think just be yourself like I said and don’t worry too much. Chances are he just meet you without wanting anything from you. You don’t know this guy how many girls he’s seeing, maybe he’s not into relationships, maybe he’s shy, self conscious, afraid of rejection, isn’t sure about how you feel or simply just didn’t feel the sparks. Who knows. Just be yourself and don’t make it look like somethings wrong.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Gonna be real, and expecting backlash for honesty: He didn't find what he was expecting. Not your fault, cause everyone has their specific preferences. You just happened to not match 1 persons prefrences in a world of 6.8 billion people.

    Keep moving forward: your life is something you focus on nobody but yourself.

    • you're right! I told him at the date so many times that if he doesn't like me he can just say it, i would completely understand it.
      He obvisouly didn't like me cause he turned cold.

      I just want an answer from him so i can move on...
      Im just not sure if i should tell him again that its okey if he doesn't like me...

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    • @LoVeGaLore
      Not about liking, but Im not what he probably expected me to be. Thats what I mean. Ofc I didn't even mention the word „like“.
      I just told him that he can tell me that Im not what he expects me to be, thats it.
      Is that bad too?
      Ughh, nevermind, he isn't interested anyways, why am i being such a stupid bitch...

    • ^^^ Yeah if you mentioned even that babe it is waaaayyy too much. You’re just over analyzing things. Be chill... don’t think about it. If he messages you great.. if not, cool whatever. Be neutral and don’t let it get you down. If he wasn’t into you his loss boo ♥️✨

  • I'm sorry it worked out like that, you seem really nice. For whatever reason the magic is lost, it certainly doesn't seem as though you're in anyway the cause. If you were shut down for superficial reasons, then he's superficial and not worth the concern. I think you would be wise to move on. Don't let this one upset keep you down.

    • I am indeed the reason. Its my looks. I know it.
      But its okey, Ill try to move on, even though for some reason its hard for me to.

      I never do dating and stuff like that. Exactly because of how im feeling now. Rejection fucking sucks.

      Thanks for your words!

    • I hate rejection too... really, don't be so hard on yourself... the guys is shallow.

  • He let you know how he feels, he isn't interested.

    When you meet someone online you might be interested in, you should try to meet just as soon as you decide he isn't going to hurt you (still meet in a public place). 15 minutes in person is worth more than months emailing. That way you can either escalate or get to finding someone else.

    • Should i not ask him directly? Or is that too much?

      Also he hasn't unfollowed me on social media (he still watches my stories) or blocked my nr (yet).

      I think Im trying to be positive but deep down i know he has lost interest...

      So, should I ask him so i can close this case and move on?

    • You aren't paying attention.

      He isn't interested.

    • you're right. Thank you.

  • Babe, move, on you can never trap a loser, you sound so much better than this waster xx

  • The fantasy didn't live up to the reality.

    • Exactly!

    • No, his fantasy didn’t live up to the reality. So he wasn’t interested.

    • Yes, exactly. Thats what i think too.

What Girls Said 11

  • I think you should be straight with him. Ask him if he isn't interested although it seems that is the case but asking will give you closure. I'm sorry that the guy is acting like this, he should have just told you that he's not interested anymore.
    You seem like a great girl, you'll find a guy that will like you as much as you like them but for now don't waste your time on this one.

    • Yes, you are so right. I don't know why i am so sensitive to rejection. It hurts so so much.

  • Just wait and see. Give him a week. Most likely he will vanish. Be prepared. I wouldn’t confront him... it might be me, but I think confronting him is a desperate measure.

  • I don't think your looks are the problem. Sounds to me like it could be your approach, what is he supposed to do? He is probably just being respectful. If he would have tried to hit those and if you would have let him than he would think that you are easy and it would not have lasted any way. i think that was nice of him.

    • Hmm, I think it does have to do with my looks. I told him i am very insecure, he also noticed it and asked me why i am so insecure cause apprently I dont have any reason to. Thats what he said.
      But as you said, i think he is just being very very polite.
      I don't know what to do...

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    • Forget him. Next time Mija, just don't let the guys know you are insecure. that gives a green light for mistreating you.

    • Thank you for your tip! <3

  • You should never let your feelings take action.

    If you’re hurt you need to take a deep breath and try to calm down.

    Only message when you’re calm. Trust me I’ve made a mistake before and truly regret it that’s why I am warning you firstly calm down.

    There’s also a possibility that he’s not sure if you like him or he doesn’t want to come of as desperate guy.

    Just talk to him normally like you did, don’t make it look like somethings wrong cause chances are that you could be overthinking it.

    Respond to him normally, initiate conversation from time to time and be nice.

  • What's your gut telling you? In my opinion he's just trying to be nice to you so don't bother on contacting him

    • Yeah, he's a very polite guy. I also think he's just being nice. Thank you :)

    • You're welcome :)

  • Maybe he doesn’t think you’re pretty now that he’s seen you in person

    • Yes, i think the same. Which is completely okey. I even said to him that if he doesn't want me he can just say it to me and be honest. He just laughed...

  • he's not interested

  • He sounds either lazy putting in minimal effort, or disinterested. Either way, move on. You can do better. Don’t think too much about it. It sounds like you’re getting too emotionally invested and putting all your eggs in one basket. Date a few guys so you can choose who feels the most “right” to you.

  • could be turned off by your insecurity?

    • Can be possible too. I am indeed extremely insecure and also i never had a boyfriend and no clue about men. Can be that it was too much for him.

      But i think he just didn't like how i look. When we firat hugged as we greeted each other, it was very fast and cold.

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    • Oh god I can't ask him for another date, i just can't. My intuition tells me that he doesn't want anything from me.

    • ... you won't know til you ask

  • Do you look different in your photos, because perhaps he thought you were a catfish - someone that looks different in real life but he’s too afraid of hurting your feelings by telling you.

    • Obviously this may not be the case but from being friends with guys that’s usually the first thing they tell me

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    • Bless you, well if you aren’t feeling the vibe then it’s okay it only scientifically takes 21 days to get over someone in most cases ;) but hey what’s the rush on commitment, the right person will come along and when they do happy days, you may not believe it but it will happen and although there’s controversy about internet dating I found my boyfriend on there and it’s been great so far so just keep trying

    • We’ve all been in your position

  • I don’t think you’re what he expected. That’s the problem with social media. Better to met people in person. Don’t get any feeling for anyone before meeting them. I think you only think you like him because he isn’t that into u. We tend to want things we can’t get. You have to find the right guy, if he isn’t that into you that means he’s not the right guy. The right guy will adore you for who you are. It’s not your fault

    • Yeah, I know. I told myself that after this Im never gonna date anyone through the internet. It was my first date ever by the way.

      Should i text him and ask how he feels? Should i tell him that its ok if he doesn't wanna have further contact with me? Or would that come off too clingy and needy?

    • I think you care too much. Just let it go. I don’t think he would be comfortable with telling you that he isn’t that into you, don’t put him in that position. He might lie so he doesn’t hurt your feelings. If he is interested in you he’ll keep in contact with u.

    • Aww shit... I hate not knowing how he feels.
      Its harder to let go when he doesn't say anything than if he does say something, even if its mean what he says. This way i could close this case easier.

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