Is he into me more than something casual?

i met him months ago - I heard through common friends he thought I was beautiful. months after the fact, just last week, we finally ended up going out and ...really hit it off. we've hung out 6 times in the past 9 days - we meet up, talk for hours, laugh, and spend the night (but no sex). the reason, in my mind, that we are seeing each other so much, is because I'm leaving the country for 9 weeks in a couple days.

so whats' wrong? well, we don't talk about anything of substance when it comes to US - am I expecting too much to have some acknowledgment of what's happening between us? I want to address it but I've been biting my tongue, waiting for him to say something ...and I'm worried he views this as a casual 'fling' before I leave. I don't expect any commitment but I'd like to leave the door open.

what should I do? talk to him? let it be and see if keeps in touch through email while I'm gone? is he into this or is this just a casual thing for him?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes it is too soon for him to be discussing anything of substance. He may be hopeful that this is an opportunity for a casual fling though you have not had sex with him yet. So, you met a guy you really like but you are getting ready to head out for 9 weeks and that can be a real buzzkill for a blooming romance. I say you enjoy the dates, do not have sex, see if you two can keep in touch for the 9 weeks and leave the door open to start things up when you return.

    • thank you...i think what you say what makes a lot of sense...i just needed to have someone else tell me that...i really like him but I don't want to mess things up by addressing stuff too soon...

    • Yes, avoid that temptation at all costs. That is a great way to send a guy running for the hills. It is too soon, so enjoy what you can enjoy now, try to keep in touch, though it should be on a light and fun level, nothing deep about how much you miss him (even if you do) unless he starts putting something along those lines out there. Then see what happens when you return. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, when it comes down to it, it's very hard for guys to keep a long-distance relationship. I'm speaking generally for those of you who don't know. I'm sure some men are down for a long-distance relationship, but stop and think of this from a guys point of view... given, that may be pretty hard seeing as your a female... but something you've got to understand is... you ARE leaving the country... what's he supposed to do when you leave?

    Another thing I should probably stop to ask is... how long will you be staying out of the country? If you're only leaving for a couple months or something... let him know straight out, "Hey... I'm leaving the country for a couple of months... but I'd really like to spend more time with you when I get back." And let him be and keep in touch on facebook or MySpace while you're away.

    On the other hand, if you're leaving for a long period of time... keeping it friends would be my best advice... There IS such thing as long-distance relationships... but when it comes down to it... that seems to be the only thing it will ever be... I haven't seen many "over-the-phone-marriages". You know what I mean?

    I don't mean to be cruel with this advice if that's what you may have mistaken it for... but I do mean to be straight forward with my advice and I hope you can appreciate that.

    • You're not being cruel - but I never said I wanted a longdistance relationship; I just want to keep the door open for when I get back...

    • Well, I suppose that would be acceptable... but you must remember... although this person may mean a lot to you... and you to he... you can't control eachothers actions...

      My advice: The most I think you can do in this situation is tell him how you feel before you leave and keep in touch when you do... The rest is totally up to him =)

  • I'm in a long distance relationship now, about four months in. She's over 1,000 miles away. I fliy down to see her every two weeks and stay for a week. Since I work under contract, I can work from her place.

    One thing I want to say here, is that at the beginning of our relationship, we spent at least six weeks corresponding before actually physically meeting. So in your case, you could do a lot of correspondence to really know each other, that could fill up that time while you're away.

    My girlfriend and I talked a lot by phone, text, email and facebook to such an extent that we knew so much by the time we met our clothes came flying off when we finally met.

    I think you need to be up-front with this guy and let your feelings be heard.

    Good luck.

    • what a sweet story you and your girlfriend have! I think I'm going to mention to him how wonderful the past couple weeks have been and see how he responds...

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