What are your instant turnoffs on a first date?

What are your instant turnoffs on a first date?
Do you ever consider meeting him/her after some they’ve turned you off in certain ways?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Bad breath.
    Body odor.
    Asking to ‘borrow’ money.
    Ordering extra stuff just because I’m buying.
    Being rude.
    Trying to lecture/control me.
    Talking about her ex.
    Talking about my ex.
    Talking about hypothetical ex.
    Dressing like a homeless person out of laziness

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Most Helpful Girls

  • - pet names on a first date (super creepy)
    - constantly checking phone and taking long breaks in convo to reply (even if its an "urgent work issue" i am still going to wonder how often work is going to be urgent"'),
    - wanting a picture together, especially if i happen to be wearing a sexy outfit (it's too soon, if you want to see my face you can schedule another date)
    - talking shit about an ex or their boss or their family (that'll be me someday)
    - if when his glory days of excess intoxication and nearly dying are followed with a strong desire to recreate them in the near forseeable future. (not my scene)
    - a mean laugh ( i once dated a guy and when he was "joking" with his guy friends in portuguese, i never knew what they were talking about, but I hated his laugh, it just sounded so mean, as in cruel and lacking empathy).

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  • Being fake... For example, If he starts acting “super alpha” or explaining his reddit red pill philosophies. It’s very cringy and pathetic that someone is that insecure about themselves would throw on a mask to pretend that they are soooo manly. I don’t just want a fake manly man. It’s a turn off.

    I want a regular guy that I can play video games with and talk to. I could care less if he was masculine or feminine. I care about what’s inside, their true intentions. I want a lover and a best friend. I don’t see him as an object like red pill suggests (hate their philosophies because it tends to make men believe that women would never love the real them). So on the first date don’t be fake! I hate it! Many women hate it. Also for women, don’t be fake either. I’m sure men hate it too.

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    • 5d

      Very interesting. I’ve actually never heard of the red pill.

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    • 3d

      The first rule of the red pill is YOU DONT TALK ABOUT THE RED PILL. You're supposed to just take the knowlege and apply it to better your life as a man.

      The guy you met is in the stage of what we call "unplugging" where he kinda believes the red pill but wants it to be a lie and so asks women if its really how it is.

      There's a 50:50 chance he won't fully unplug as The Red Pill requires you to make your decision based on what YOU see, not others. 90% of people are blue pillers so using redpill lingo or mentioning it instead of discussing the topics in a normal way will result in rejection of the beliefs.

    • 7h

      I would not consider myself disposable. It's a biological thing, not a philosophical thing. It's not sexist, the same as saying women are half as strong as men per pound, upper body isn't. It's simply a fact of nature. It also doesn't apply to "all" men. For instance, Bill Gates would be more valuable than the average woman. Males can increase their social value from 0 via occupation and accomplishment.

      It's how we survived as a species. The men went out to hunt and fight to protect and provide for the women and children at home. Naturally, a lot of men died doing so. And that was okay. Because that was their job.

      It's easy to say "you're valuable." It's another thing when we're both in a hostage situation, and they negotiate for women and children to be let go, before me, based simply on genitalia. That is the social attitude. Children first, then women, then men. You don't get that?

      In any case, I like women. But I'm also going to protect myself from them. As you should from men

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What Guys Said 87

  • -She's very late without good reason
    -She uses her phone during the date, texting others, reading messages, etc.
    -She is reluctant to engage in conversation (I've never experienced that, though)

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  • Bad teeth, smells bad, bad conversational skills (does not listen, talks about themselves too much/relating everything back to themselves, monologues to the point where they're talking AT you rather than speaking with you). Being boring, being overly judgmental of others.

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    • 4d

      Picky people are usually guilty of what they accuse others of

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    • 4d

      🌚😂

  • Being interrogated like in a Nazi concentration camp. The first date turns from a "Meet and Greet" into "What do you think are you strongest qualities.. or Why did your first wife leave you? that kinda shit. It's not Jeopardy and I'm not Alex Trebec.

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    • 4d

      Haha, never heard of Alex Trebec.

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    • 4d

      LOL.. he's the game show hosts on Jeopardy

    • 4d

      @Emmdk some guys do lack the social skills of a politician. In your case,, I think I'd back you up on your approach

  • If she's on her phone or shows up in yoga pants... instant turn off. I've seen girls on dates and they show up like they're chilling at home watching netflix or they're glued to their phone the entire date. That's a "goodbye" for me.

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    • 4d

      Why are yoga pants a turn off to you?

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    • 3d

      Yeah I hope it dies off too. To me it's like saying "hello, I couldn't be bothered to wear real clothes and also, look at my ass" very unattractive on so many levels

    • 3d

      @Emmdk Glad to hear from a girl that agrees. Hard to find, honestly.

  • 1. Smoking, drinking, or drugs.
    2. A potty mouth.
    3. The presence of gay, lesbian, or criminal friends.
    4. Loud, aggressive, or controlling behaviour.
    5. If I see anything looking like a thong. 6. Finding out she is underaged.
    7. Seeing her other guy or an ex she's not over.
    8. A proud or disrespectful attitude.

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  • 1. Excessive body fat or hair.
    2. Vintage clothing that doesn't match or look good. (People who buy shit from op-shops in a lame attempt to appear cultured)
    3. Lots of opinions, zero substance.
    4. Double standards when it comes to chivalry and feminism.
    5. Too much makeup.

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    • 4d

      Second point was interesting. And what is too much makeup for you?

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    • 4d

      To be honest. I don't like fake tan at all but most girls seem to wear it to some degree when they go out. So I can tolerate it if its not too full on. That might just be me though, I like natural things, I would rather a girl with a couple of pimples and small boobs over a fake pin up girl.

    • 4d

      I agree, natural is good!

  • if she's fat xD cause that happens soo often. they look great on their profile pic and irl they're just plain fat. i don't understand why all the girls do that. like do they think they have higher chances basically catfishing guys?

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    • 4d

      Yeah I don't know why they aren't upfront about it. My friend met a girl on the opposite coast through work, as their companies did a lot of business so they conversed a lot. They got pretty friendly and started talking away from work. She had some friends in SF where he was, so she was going to come out and meet him. He asked her to send a pic - it was blurry, and she was standing behind a car...

      Yeah, she was very obese, and when he met her he was like, no...

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    • 4d

      I never understood that too. I’ve had single dads tell me they had a kid only after meeting, ugh.

    • 4d

      yeah at least women seem to be honest about that.

  • So many things.
    Superstitious? Turn off.
    Non-SI units usage (not really a risk in my country)? I'm running away.
    Lot of previous sexual partners, smoking, exessive drinking, (lot of) tattooes…
    There are many things. Sure, some of them are about body, like fatness, but most of them are about personality.
    Just…be non-manipulative, honest, rational and smart being. Please. Don't be overly sensitive, if I say some "horrible" shit, which is obviously sarcasm, don't turn into SJW.

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  • At last moment I mean when date ends we leave each other for go back to our homes , I hug 🤗 her normally but she ignored me iam surprised we talk romantic for 2 hours and little sexual talk and ignored my hug, I hug her like a good friend not with bad feelings or intentions

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  • When she accuses me of supporting child abuse because I like watching football (true story...)

    Or when they ramble on and on about petty drama they still stir up with their ex

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  • The Girl is always on her cell phone during the date

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    • 4d

      I tell them I have to go to the bathroom, then leave and text her saying her uber is waiting outside to take her back home without me when they do that. lol

    • 4d

      That's an excellent idea I like it

    • 4d

      @red324 for real? 😂

  • If she's:
    Dressed too skimpy
    Treat the waiter/waitress horribly
    If she yells or chews gum during the meal or while we're talking
    If she's not really into the date, like she's giving off the vibe that she doesn't want to go forward.
    If she's talking about an ex
    If she doesn't carry the conversation with me, like she's only giving one word answers or doesn't really add any new ideas

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  • Excuses for being late for things that are within her control
    Consistently distracted, looking at others or her phone, etc
    Doesn't make eye contact when talking/talking about irrelevant subjects

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  • A woman who constantly looks at her phone, a woman who is a bitch at the waiter/waitress, a woman who is very loud/quiet, a woman who flirts with other people while we are together. That's about what I can think of so far.

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  • Talking about her exes. I don't care with whom you did what in the past, so long as it stays in the past. If you have any unresolved issues you need to deal with, take them to the source of the issues, not to me.
    That's pretty much my only dealbreaker when it comes to dating.

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  • If the girl is checking her phone during the date that's a turn off. The only exception would be if she told me at the outset that there was a family situation or something going on and she had to be able to take a call or read a text.

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  • for me any mention of smoking weed or drug use is a instant nope im done topic. Weed is legal in my state and may be an herb that helps with a lot of things but I hate the smell of it and its not something I want in my life.
    Extremely racist. Everyone has an opinion and sometimes that is based off personal experiences but if someone is super racists... i'm out
    appearance. A little bit of thought has to go into how once presents themselves to a potential match. if you came in rags then chances of a 2nd date are slim.
    Heavy talking of politics, religion or other commonly "taboo" subjects. I say religion as taboo because i'm agnostic borderline atheist and talks of religion can get on my nerves.
    Heavy makeup use... you dont wanna hear my thoughts on makeup...

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  • -When they start the date by saying "I hope I don't disappoint you"

    -Super shy and untalkative/boring

    -When they brag about all their travels

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    • 4d

      Why’s the first one a turnoff? ‘Cos they look like they’re trying too hard? 😄

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    • 4d

      Haha Glad guys like confidence ;)

    • 4d

      @SngBirdy I'm definitely not handsome but I'm pretty damn funny to compensate. Doesn't matter which. In the end they just freak out, act nervous and ruin it. So most of the time I have to put do with fat girls that know they aren't girlfriend material so they don't try to impress and we have a fuck before going out separate ways.

  • If she starts telling me about all of her intimate personal and family issues, you need to take time to get to know someone not just have it dumped in your lap like you are their therapist

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  • First when she constantly makes excuses and postpones before we finally meet. When seems like having no interest at all during the date, and is like just responding with "Hmm", "Ok" and nothing else. And its that awkward convo that is painful to keep it alive. When she is very reserved and closed. Or when she seems like having no humor at all and never smiles.

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  • Being boastful/arrogant,
    Having a promiscuous past,
    Being careless,
    Taking me for granted,
    Having a complaining nature,
    Applying way too much make-up,
    Having a bad hygiene.

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  • Being rude (not just to me), causing drama, assuming that I'll pay, using the phone without giving a reason all the time, etc.

    I'm definitely not an easy person.

    Other things are for example being indecisive, taking absolute ages to decide things.. I can keep going for a fair bit.

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  • - When she is contantly looking at her phone, or even checking it too many times.
    -When her horizon doesn't expand beyond makeup, netflix and fashion

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  • If she has a dick. Even more of a turnoff if its bigger than mine

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  • When she expects her guy to pay
    Instant off! Maybe I’ve been lucky and blessed not to have dated girls like that but been on some dates where she orders stuff and expects me to cover her order
    Don’t expect. Appreciate if so

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  • Body odor, and no there would not be a second date for me. See, i love to cuddle and hugging is she has body odor, then i would be able to stand it. Sorry.

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  • Big turnoff for me are people who’ve are overly obsessive, granted it varies between guys since I’m also the type that looks for girls with a bad past and different viewpoints.

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  • If they smell like cigarettes. Smoking turns me off more than anything else.

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  • Bad breath.

    A girl that looks at you like you need to prove your worth to me.

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What Girls Said 43

  • Arrogance and odor, in that order!

    Answer to 2nd question: NO

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  • -If he shows up dressed like he just threw on anything, sloven
    -bad breath, heavy smoker
    -is a know it all and boastful
    -only talks about himself
    -assumes it's okay to touch me
    -speaks with his mouth full
    -openly stares at other women

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  • -Spending most or all of the date checking your phone or texting
    -Bad hygiene
    -Poor manners- not just towards me, but others too if we're out in public
    -Bringing up sex yet they barely know me (it's the first freaking date!)
    -Lying about something to impress me... like why? I'm going to find out eventually if we date long enough
    -Nasty attitude

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  • I don't know about turnoffs, but I usually don't become interested in a guy I go on a date with. I have a boyfriend now, and it's my first relationship in years. So, for me it's just overall - if we don't click and I don't feel anything on the first date, that's the end of it.

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  • *A person with bad manners.
    *A person with huge rudeness.
    *A person who tries to show off his manly side instead of being normal guy and try to enjoy his date.
    *A person who keeps complimenting my looks every 5 minutes!!! This is what pisses me of the most.
    *A person who can't stop talking.
    *A person who keeps mentioning sex a lot.
    * A person with low confident
    These are the things that turns me OFF when I'm on a date with someone.

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  • Lack of hygiene and being shorter than he say he is.

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  • If they're a buzzkill, offended by everything, violent, disrespectful towards waiters/staff, controlling, etc. I probably have more but these are just the ones I listed off the top of my head

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  • Smoking. If you're putting that in your mouth then keep your mouth away from me.

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  • Teeth that are discolored and not straight to the point where I find myself glancing at them unintentionally.

    Looking at other women for too long and even commenting on their beauty. I get people find other people attractive but come on.

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  • Excessive swearing. Over-indulgence in alcohol (If you drink 3 or more alcoholic beverages, that's a red flag.) When they bring up their EXs. Being rude to Wait-staff.

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  • Poor hygiene, dirty clothes, uncouth language, too arrogant and egocentric, complains about everything...

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  • Rude and mean spirited towards others (wait staff)

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  • Misoginy, arrogance, narcissism, bad manners, bad hygene, being an asshole, not being punctual or not being able to be serious when it's necessary

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  • Smoke in front of me all the time, too many personal questions (too soon to know), bad smell, bad hygiene, have nothing to talk, rude, cocky, no manner, and show off like a novel.

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  • Seeming controlling. Or too confident/up their own arse about their accomplishments. It makes me feel small and i hate that

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  • Them either constantly talking over me or being glued to their phone majority of the time.

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  • 1. Ignorant
    2. Not listening to me or not interested in me or in our convo
    3. Bad hygiene
    4. Rude
    5. Doesn’t smile or laugh
    6. Not talkative
    7. On his phone

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  • Poor hygiene, rudeness, tardy, on his phone, only talks about himself.. while food falls from his mouth.

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  • Arrogant, body odor, no sense of self, poor listener, and disrespect of any kind to those around us.

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    • 4d

      Can you describe what you mean by no sense of self?
      Do you mean when he agrees with everything you say or is a pushover?

    • 4d

      They crave the attention of others even when the acts don’t suits who they really are.
      Example. Someone who only wears, does what’s popular w/o actually like it. Slaves to attention.

  • 1. Bad Hygiene
    2. On her Phone
    3. Smoking
    4. She a Drunk meaning she drunk almost all the time.

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  • teeth, body odor, boring, short, doesn´t try to offer to pay, bad politics

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  • Looking at other girls and at his phone often. Smells like alcohol or cigarettes.

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  • Rudest and spending to much time on the phone especially whilst I'm talking to them.

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  • Not being able to hold a conversation. Some awkwardness is totally fine, but if I see, he's not trying at all.. turn off

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  • I hate it when guys go on their phones on a first date. If you don't know this guy, he could even be texting another girl. Who knows?

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  • too cheap, mommy boy, boring personality, childish or quiet

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  • If they’re on their phone constantly...
    Bad eye contact...

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  • - if they make me feel dumb and are patronizing

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  • Poor hygiene & cocky/obnoxious personality.

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  • Boring convo

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