Is a person's financial background/career a make or break when dating them?

Updates:
Dating means long term relationship leading to marriage/common law partnership

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Most Helpful Guys

  • No, but their lifestyle and/or debt might be.

    I have no desire to keep up with any Kardashians, and I also wouldn't want to take on responsibility for someone deeply in debt. I've been through the "can you cover my rent this month?" thing and that's a road to ruin.

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    • The pussy wasn't worth it?

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    • Agreed. The only way I’m paying your rent is if you move in, or vice versa.

    • 1950s style is ideal but so true it doesn't mean go shopping all day and out to eat. Its working in the home.

  • Yes. I don't want to be in relationships with very wealthy women or women who put college degrees and careers on a pedestal. Women like that usually don't have good values about life and place their priorities on worldly status.

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    • I think women like that do have good values. They are educated and want better things for themselves. They know their worth and there is nothing wrong with that.

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    • Alright then. I’m not really exposed to females like that and I usually see those types in movies.

    • That's false

Most Helpful Girls

  • It depends on how bad or good things are. Material things do not make me happy but our future children need food water and a place to live and if I get sick I need somebody who can care for me and same if I am nursing a baby or late in pregnancy. Likewise I will try to support the person I am with if they get sick or become disabled.

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  • For just dating? No. However, if this was someone you may want to get more serious with in the future and possibly marry, then yes. You would need someone who is financially compatible with you and able to help support a lifestyle that you both will want. Also, if the man is unsatified with his chosen career path, it can become a large issue down the line since many men tend to associate their career status and ability to provide for their family as a gauge of their worth as a person.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 42

  • For the most part, no

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  • If it is just casual, not at all. But if I am looking at something serious, yes, it will have an impact. I don't care what they do career wise, but I do care if they live a financially unstable life. Meeting their responsibilities is theirs alone, not my business.

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  • I wouldn’t want to be involved with a spendthrift, but generally I don’t care how much they earn. If they are solvent and can handle their own lifestyle I don’t really worry about money. There are certain jobs that will make someone less desirable or completely undesirable, but that has more to do with ethics than earnings.

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  • Good question.

    Being someone from a financially "average" background, I've dated girls from both very rich/middle class and relatively "poor" backgrounds. And whilst certain aspects of their lives were very different, often with different views and aspirations, they fundamentally all wanted the same things...

    A big strong man to look after them...

    Therefore the issue of money is not so much a practical, but philosophical question for me.

    Most people don't understand that money is just a tool to enslave us, in which the banks that circulate our money, have put no real intrinsic worth into these useless paper notes and digits that we buy, sell and slave away in monotonous jobs for - regardless of how well paid one might be.

    The common retort here is "but duuuude, you need money to buy shiiet, you can't live without it in society!!". Practically speaking, this may be true; but the sickening joke is that it is us, the poeple, who incessantly pursue and trade in, these worthless bits of paper. We give it a value to each other...

    But the catch here, is that given that money is loaned out to our governments, from the private central banks, which in turn our governments circulate to us through our high street banks; none of us within civilisation actually own *ANYTHING*. Not our homes/mortgages, not our phones or TV's, not even the clothes on our backs... Least not the land/s we live on...

    If the central bank/s wanted to pull the plug on our economies tomorrow, we'd all theoretically starve to death, as money then would become hyper-inflated and we'd be unable to buy anything.

    So OP, to answer your Q - no, I couldn't give a flying fuck how much any potential partner of mine is worth; nor do I have any intentions on sharing my life with the average woman, who, like 95% of others, thinks a successful life is chasing worthless bits of paper, in the hopes that she can have her mortgage paid off, maybe, just maybe, by the time she's in her 40's/50's.

    Nor do I have any intentions on living my own life, slaving away for the same thing... SWEET FUCK ALL in the long term.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mII9NZ8MMVM

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  • I care about 0% about that. Status or resources aren't sexual characteristics to males. No judgement. We all know where men's tendencies lie, and they're not profoundly selfless, either. Just matter-of-fact.

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  • sadly for some people it does
    they dont care who YOU are as a person what is ur character and you as overall
    they care only about the $$$ u got in ur bank account
    if i see people like this my blood is simply boiling with hatred

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  • It depends on why I am dating them.

    If she is a throwaway (I don't tell her my name or where I live), then it doesn't matter.

    If she is a keeper (a real relationship), then it matters to the extent that she must have some ambition and be working toward goals.

    The single most important financial decision a person makes is whom to marry. A marriage is legally nothing more than a business partnership. A potential spouse's financial status should be of very high importance.

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  • So long as she isn't in debt and has a decent job I don't mind. I don't want a girl who ONLY cares about money and who loves her job so much that she is fanatical about it. On the other hand, I'm not interested in a girl who doesn't want to work and who is in major debt. Because I'm not about to pay her way or worry about her trying to use me.

    So there's a middle ground I'm looking for.

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  • As long as she’s not entirely dependent on me and/or unable or unwilling to set aside her career for a few hours every now and then to be with me, I don’t really care, although I will say that I tend to be attracted to very traditional women, who tend to be either fairly wealthy or rural working class, so stuff like that hasn’t really been an issue for me in the past.

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  • Yes
    If a girl has done nothing then what has she been doing for
    The last 10 years. Creating bad habits. So Probably not going to work out

    It’s rewaeding to Come home to a women that can talk about her passions and contributions to society

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    • But just because she did not have a job when you were in the initial stage of dating her, does not mean that she has no passion for her field, does not mean that she'll never get a job, does not mean that she didn't go to college with a vision for her future career. Isn't that true?

      I have a job, but I would not assume that a man is not going to succeed, if he has shared his thoughts and goals about his career, and that I've seen his diligent action in applying for jobs. In fact, I believe in my man, because as the old saying goes "behind a successful man is a woman."

      But sure, whatever your opinions are, they're important to you, but I'm just giving some insight which might've been missed.

  • Any career is a good career, my thing is the approach to it, work is secondary on life and people who take it too seriously are not my style, I'm certainly not planning on having a career oriented life myself

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  • No. You are dating, not marrying. BUT if your motives are based on finance and the person's career, you are thinking more of yourself and how you look in stranger's and friend's eyes than developing a real relationship (which is why many relationships fail).

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  • Career? It could. It just depends on what the career is and what it entails and what the hours, travel... etc. are.

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  • For a woman it definitely is - she wants to make sure her guy can support her and the 84 children she wants to have with him. ;)

    For a guy? Not so much. As long as her job doesn't take priority over him.

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  • Being financially sound is a big plus. Providing your family with the essentials is great. But having your partner to be able to stand on their own 2 feet highlights just how much they want you, not need you

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  • I’m dating a girl who does or will have a good degree, and comes from decent family with no financial struggle. But she’s really difficult and expects too much

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    • That’s what I’m looking for in her though is long term relationship leading off to marrige. But she’s just too complicated but she does however help me with my college as well.

  • Any of those don't matter in my opinion, a relationship between a couple is dependent on share of hearts, not money. If I see a hint of care for those even it's a no go from start.

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  • it can be a make or break point if their financial situation or background is bad enough

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  • Mostly, no. I would consider any career in the sex industry as a dealbreaker and what @MrOracle mentioned.

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  • Not to me, i don't look at that. I do like to see they have passions and aren't lazy.

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  • So long as they can pay rent and aren't a gold digger, idgaf.

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  • Ehhhh, depends. I'm not really interested in dating women who make their living as a sex worker. Something more wholesome would be nice. And while I don't need her to make $200k per year (though that would be awesome), if she's making $20k per year with no benefits then I can imagine she'd be relying heavily on me to cater to her, which is no bueno. I'm also not interested in women who go into debt to finance a life they can't afford. Because if shit gets serious, then her debt becomes mine and I try to live a debt-free life as much as possible. So if she's paying the monthly minimum on her credit card bill and taking out lines of credit to fund her expensive tastes then I'll pass.

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  • No I would only worry about that if I wanted to be married which I don't.

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  • No clue but most girls like a guy who has a good income

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  • No. If I were the marrying type and she were a prospective, yes.

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  • it depends on th individual and there maturity... how they view life and material things...

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  • Yes, if she majored in anything that involves the words "liberal" or "studies" in college then she 100% undatable.

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  • Could be.

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  • Not for me. But it is for many women.

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  • Not for me

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What Girls Said 27

  • Not for me. I'll help him with what I can, and we'll succeed together. I don't think it's nice to leave a person when he/she is not financially stable, because some people at some point in their lives, will go through the process of looking for jobs, changing career, etc. and we don't want someone to say to us "Call me when you get a job/a job with better pay."

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    • i feel respect towards this opinion

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    • In case anyone may misunderstand me, I was referring to the situation if a man is a nice man, understanding, respectful, intellectual and has a good head on his shoulder, I would not just not date him because he's currently unemployed. In fact that was the case with my boyfriend, but he's also going to grad school full-time, and soon after we started dating he started part-time job (s) and internship (s) throughout each semester of the year, and I'm proud of him ❣️

    • My answer stays the same. If I would marry him, I should never dump him when he's not at his best. I'd help him, and like I said, we succeed together and celebrate our successes together.

  • If they r doing something like animal testing or somethingelly evil like that

    otherwise if theyre like working at like a minimum wage non skilled not temperary (like permemnantly working as a cashier) and never wanted to get better / become manager or change careers etc then it would be a problem

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  • As long as they are able to earn for themselves I would date them.
    I don't wanna have kids so I don't need anyone with high paid job to secure me and the kids but If they are clearly with me for the money and constantly want me to lend them some then I wouldn't date them. I dated someone who lived from paycheck to paycheck and has few debts but he always paid people back and never asked me for money so I didn't mind

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  • Not that much, love and attraction matters more. Saw rich women marrying men with less “finances” and vice versa :)

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  • I would say that it's not something I but a lot of stock in, unless the person is really a financial screw-up.

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  • Its more of their lifestyle than career.
    If say they were a gambler that caused themselves to be in financial ruin then it would make a question things in the long run.

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  • If the guy is around my age all I hope is that he is working to do something for his future. For older guy yes, i do not want to take care of guy financial way 😬

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  • I'd rather be with someone on the same financial level as I am. We would better understand one another and things like that.

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  • As long as they are content with their career, I'm good.

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  • Yes is does matter especially if you want to marry and have kids with that person. Financial stability is much better than arguing over money.

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  • Depends if their career just doesn't correspond to your beliefs or lifestyles. And financial backround if they are just lazy

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  • It is for me because money is important in a relationship and both sides should be working for their degree or hold a career

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  • As long as they have some sort of income, whether or not they have a career isn't a huge deal.

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  • It is kinda becouse u get frustrated if u have to pay all the time and they can’t or won’t and the other person gets a little greedy

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  • You really don't know who you are if you ask this question. A real career driven woman would not care, it would always come first.

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  • No. But then if they make too much money they'd be out if my league right? Lol

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  • It depends on how extreme it is! Slightly underachieving is one thing. Completely recklessness is another.

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  • Yes kinda. He should be able to pay for themself and have a job, something to do in life.

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  • It shouldn't most if not all rich/famous/infamous/legendary start from somewhere humble.

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  • Its not that important but it seems that rich guys are more free to express their feelings?

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  • before saying answer to together I find if richer than me

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  • As long as he has a job, it's all good.

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  • It can be

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  • For some people it is..

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  • Absolutely

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  • He’s just gotta be hot

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  • It is for sure

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