Is it abuse if your boyfriend calls you names?

he's calls me bitch and idiot all the time when he's angry, called me a slut..
For example I have a password on my phone he doesn't know the code, tried to get on and I said no , but he took a fit and said I'm not playing your fucking games then put one one his phone. 2 sec later forgot and started yelling at me calling me an idiot and blaming me.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • No, he's not abusing you, calling a girl a slut is a very bad thing to label her as, but it is not abuse. To him, you;ve earned these names, to him you re an idiot and a slut, just accept that. If you want a password on your phone you should have one if for no other reason than if you lose it someone else will not get at your personal information. and he needs to respect your privacy. To ask you to go through your phone - That is still your choice. You are his girl, your phone is yours. - But that is not the point you are asking about. He is getting very mad with you and you are missing one important point - He is being a good boyfriend to you by not hitting you. If you make him angry enough to call you a slut then he is stopping himself from hitting you - That takes great strength and love for you. Feel lucky that he cares that much about you. You are not an innocent girl here. You are causing him to become upset with you. You are being a bad girlfriend. I would like to help you here. First you need to talk with him about the things that you are doing wrong that is making him upset with you. You want to avoid any upset with you or him so you can begin to correct your faults. ( When we get upset we can never accomplish anything. ) When you talk to him, taake the approach that you are completely in the wrong - This gives him no reason to get upset with you and to help him be completely open with you. You also want to thank him for caring enough about you not to hit you. You thought about how you have been and you know that you deserved to be hit ( This is to get him to feel sorry for you and to want to comfort you. - if he doesn't, that is o. k.. You are working on his feelings.) - you have failed him as a girlfriend and you want to try harder to be good to him, you need his help to help you.----------- He doesn't like getting upset with you any more than you like being called names - Tu stop this you need to accept your responsibility in causing this. In this talk with him you both will work out a plan that when you do something that he feels is wrong he can talk to you then and you will listen and do as he wishes you to. You must be willing to do this 100%. If he blames you for something that you feel is not your fault - Remember that to him it is your fault. So apologize and then ask him how you an correct your behaviour. You want him to feel that he is your "Knight in shining armor". That you need his guidance in your life. - This plays to a mans ego and for you stops the name calling - BUT more important it stops him from becoming upset to that point. He knows you will listen to him when he's says what he wants done. - Your gain will come by him valuing you even more as his girlfriend and wanting to make you happy because you do as he tells you every time. You keep the password on your phone, but if he asks you to let him look at it - Then you should. You are his girl. Always be honest with him when he asks you any questions. This will make you both happier ( If you can do this. )

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    • No one deserves to be hit by another. And anyone has to be insane to think you are right. If I have done nothing wrong, and he is being the unreasonable one, why then should I take the approach to please him, to take it upon myself that I'm the one that had done him wrong and feel I deserved to be hit? BS.
      I'm not here on this earth to cajole any man's pathetic ego. And any self-respecting woman should also feel the same way. So what if he didn't hit her? Verbal abuse is still no excuse for this bf's immature actions.

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    • @yucychan You are so missing this girls issue - She talks about her boyfriend calling her names. She seems like she would like to correct this -- Her boyfriend is not asking the question. So my assistance is geared to help her in accomplishing getting him to stop calling her names. I am keeping my focus on this girl's concerns and how she may resolve them with getting into an argument with her boyfriend. That will not help her one bit. There are many ways a guy can be a bad boyfriend - But her boyfriend would get upset with her and start calling her names. - Many, when they get that upset ( Calling your girl a "SLUT " conveys that this guy gets really upset with her to say that -- A lot of guys will hit their girl at that point---------- ( Hitting is wrong - but it happens. ) I was pointing out a good thing here. Calling names is much better than hitting a girl. It could be handled better -- That is the goal. She is not walking away so we should give her assistance - Ideas that she may use to get her boyfriend to talk with her - Not call her names. Then she can talk with him. She does wrong here, but she may not even realize what she's doing if she can't talk with him. She needs to keep from upsetting him so they can work out a plan on how to deal better with upset situations. -- Not cause another one. This is serious real life for this girl. She has not indicated that she is leaving him -- so she has to work with what she has. This is suppose to be about her --- Not what you would do. ( Saying he should croll his temper does nothing to help her, and it does nothing to help him -- UNLESS you have a plan this girl can use. DO YOU? -- I do not understand why you are talking about the many was a guy can be a bad boyfriend. That is no relation to this girls issue with her boyfriend. I was trying to point out to her that his name calling was better that him hitting her. -- She has failed him, You ask how? -- When he get that mad at her ---------------

    • It doesn't matter if you or I agree or disagree with his reasons. He is the one that is angry with his girl. She caused him to be angry with her. So in his mind -- she failed,. To work with him it is better to keep him calm and get him to start talking to her before becoming so upset with her. If her accepting all responsibility for getting him upset with her will keep him calm so he will learn to talk things out - The end justifies the means. Then, she is happy because he talks to her instead of calling her names. And both people will be happier with each other. At that point they can talk and she can see if she wants to be his girlfriend -- He will value her much more for improving his life. Instead of getting so upset - He learns to talk his feelings out with her. -- That seems like a much better outcome to me. --- You have spent much more time talking with me than trying to assist this girl, she, and her wants are what this is all about. She seems to want to still be his girlfriend -- But wants to stop him getting so upset that he is calling her bad names. Do you have a viable plane to show her how to do that. Does anyone? Not tell her to walk away - she needs everyone's assistance here. Instead of putting my suggestions down --- Give this girl a better plan of action that you truly think can help her.

  • Well, yes. But if you're antaganizing him, even just by being careless its your fault too. Those words are inexcusable, he's definitely wrong to do that but that doesn't mean you're right.

    But assuming that you are not playing games, this is somebody you need to get away from. A person like that acts compulsory. It could only be a matter of time until he really tries to hurt you. Not just physically, but as much as he can. Because when his tactics he's using start to fail, or rescind, he'll have to increase the dose.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes, it's verbal abuse.
    And I'm not sure why you are putting up with it. It is still your phone, if you didn't allow him to go through it, then he has to accept that. He has no right to call you names for that.
    And after he has forgotten his own password on his phone, he blames you for it? What an asshole. Where did you find this guy in the first place? From Jerks'R'Us?

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  • It is definitely abuse and I would be cautious not to upset him too much because you may become a victim of domestic violence.

    Time to take the necessary steps before this situation gets out of hands. I would even go as far as to advise someone of the potential threat you are victim, should something really serious happen.

    Do not let this sit on you. You should take action and make your boyfriend aware that he went way beyond what is acceptable and what you will tolerate in the future.

    Domestic violence starts with words and end in physical harm...

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 28

  • It's OK to call your woman a slut, just as long as you're on the same page and it's in the throes of passion. But you will NEVER get a second chance to call me an idiot. If you allow that, then don't blame the guy. Blame yourself.

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  • I don't have a boyfriend. However, if I did have a girlfriend and she was insulting me with names, I would find out why. If I did her any wrong, then I would apologize. If I didn't, then getting to the bottom of it would be quite important to me. If he's that abusive, then break up with him. He's a loser if he results to insults/name-calling.

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  • my question is why are you still holding on? i mean, i call everyone cunt, but now people are starting to realize its a term of endearment...
    plus i dont have his anger issues.

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  • Your boyfriend is in the wrong for calling you names
    and being rude towards you , he should not be angry
    over you having a password on your phone , it's your
    business what you want to do with your phone.

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  • That is abusive behavior, and you should not enable it. Leave him.

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  • i'd think actions matter more than calling one on names, right? and if u are with him you must have apparent reasons for it, everyone has its own perks.. but only u can judge that situation.

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  • Yes, that's abusive. He's out of control. Dump him before he damages something.

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  • Yes it is abuse if you feeling down from it dump him and get a guy that will treat you right

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  • Depends on the words.
    In your case, yes.
    Long story short, I think you need to dump him.

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  • Sounds like you're dating a child. I guess you could call it abuse but it sounds more like tantrums to me.

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  • Do you want to live like that?
    Is it worth it?
    Haven't you noticed having less mental energy?

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  • Yes it is verbal abuse. He sounds like an asshole, get rid of him.

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  • No, it isn't but he definitely has anger issues and insecure.

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  • it can be mental or emotional abuse... time to kick him to the curb

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  • Break up with him right fucking now he seems like a fucking douchebag...

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  • Rhetorical question.
    I have a question of my own: why are you still with this guy?

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  • its not abuse. you can leave anytime. is it justified?

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  • But I doubt you'll be sensible and leave him coz women love drama and a total dickhead

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  • Get out of that and quick. This guy's abusive.

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  • you need a new man

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  • It's verbal abuse.

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  • time to dump

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  • Leave

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  • No. It's not. It's called arguing.

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  • Only you know what to do

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  • It depend on the manner he is doing it so

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  • Bruh, leave him. He clearly has anger issues.

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  • Noooo. It's BDSM. I call my whores bitches all the time. Shit..

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What Girls Said 20

  • He sounds like a quiet addict. Get out of this relationship ASAP I had 2 kids with a man like this and gave 6 years of my life ill never get back. He completely destroyed me! Now he's a meth addict and doesn't see our kids. GET OUT NOW these men become physically abusive!

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  • Yes it can be but if you take it as like it’s ok then he will keep on calling you names but if you have told him that you don’t want that then it’s kinda abuse, I don't know really but if he keeps on then you should leave him, he seems like a douchebag.

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  • That’s verbal abuse. Soon enough it enters the mind and it almost impossible to get rid of... now. If this name calling goes both ways. You BOTH need to stop. Break up. Please.

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  • Like as has been said, it’s verbal abuse and you really need to find someone else as he’s not good for you.

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  • I seriously think you need to dump this guy. That's not ok for him to call you those degrading names and how he's been acting.

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  • Well, if its a one time thing, just talk to him,. But, if it goes on for ever, just end it.

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  • It verbal abuse it only gets worst the longer you stay and you shouldn’t let anyone to call you a slut.

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  • Verbal and psychological abuse. Absolutely. Protect yourself. Someone worthy is waiting for you.

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  • Yep, definitely abusive behaviour. Leave him whilst you can.

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  • Verbal abuse is domestic violence.

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  • Tell him bye

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  • Verbal abuse.

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  • Absolutely. It’s called verbal abuse.

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  • Yes it is.

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  • Yes, it’s mental abuse

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  • Yes, that would be considered verbal abuse.

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  • Yes.

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  • it's a toxic relationship
    and yes it is abusing

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  • It is abuse if he doesn't!

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  • Demeaning names to attempt and make you feel less... Guy sounds like a jerk, dump his ass. That's not how you treat someone in a relationship.

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