For those of you who are nervous on initial dates, at what point do you lose the nervousness?


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2026

Most Helpful Girls

  • Never TBH.

    Maybe temporary if an online date compliments me and is chivalous.
    And then asks me out a few times after AND regularly pursues (daily).
    But I’ve experienced a lot of ghosting and rejection, so I never feel truly ‘secure’ in dating scenarios. Trying to build my confidence. So taking a hiatus from that world.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Ironically enough, I started relaxing more when I noticed that at times she could be as nervous and insecure as me.

    As we got more and more used to each other, we became more and more comfortable.

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  • As soon as I start talking to a woman I am 100% fine. It is everything leading up to it that makes me nervous.

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What Girls Said 18

  • I’m personally always nervous and anxious about things. I wanna be the best me I can be around the person I want to like me. It takes me awhile to build up trust to let someone in as well so until that wall officially goes down, no nerves will end for me.

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  • When I realize the guy isn't gonna be judgmental when he sees me for truly being me so like I'll test the waters and see how he reacts to seeing me being me and then if he reacts in a good way that's when I'll be very comfortable with the guy or just when you have great chemistry with him like when you talk to each other Y'all just get eachother... that helps lots

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  • Either when the date is over or I get hit by a car crossing the street to meet him.

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  • You're not alone! The other person is nervous deep down too. Just stay calm and instead of rushing and thinking about what is going to happen later in the date just get to know them and think of it as a fun hanging out session instead of a nervous first date! You want to see if you vibe with them so just stay carefree and see where the date takes you.

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    • 7d

      I have to disagree that everyone is nervous. They have people who prey on girls for sex. They are not nervous as they got a plan and an act in order to get what they want. I guess you could call them players. Some can play the part very well. If the other person doesn't get nervous it could be that they just do a lot of dating. That in itself makes you wonder.

  • After a year or two then it feels more like we have been together and things seem ok, but before then I keep saying I have to get used to things because I had never had a boyfriend/husband before and it was weird/foreign to me. It sort of is still foreign to me and I am still trying to figure things out.

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  • I dont feel totally comfortable until about 5 dates in, but that's only because I can't usually tell how the other person feels about me until then

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  • When I feel we're both comfortable and we catch ourselves laughing together

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  • After it is over and he calls right away to ask me out again

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  • I recently was on a date so what I did was talk to them about a bunch of random stuff and eventually I forgot about being nervous and I wasn't nervous anymore

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  • After I sense what he's up vs what he's saying. Basically if he's legit

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  • If the guy admits he is a little nervous, I immediately feel more comfortable.

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  • Usually as soon as we meet.

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  • After a margarita

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  • after my first drink

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  • I don’t date

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  • When I leave

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  • When they say they’re nervous too

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  • When we click. That can happen anytime.

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    • 6d

      I've clicked with a guy and I am still nervous around him. I think its more like after you've both established that you like eachother and are comfortable around eachother.

    • 6d

      Yeah it can be that too. But for me, when I click with someone it’s when it’s all fallen into place, that comfortable feeling without any anxiety, if I don’t have that I don’t really feel the ‘click’, it’s just strong attraction at that point.

What Guys Said 24

  • What about beyond nervous?
    Any advice would help. For maybe the day I get a date.

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    • I'd suggest asking that as a question so you get a lot of responses, and not just mine! Some nervousness is completely normal in such cases, though.

    • Show All
    • @cjennaa Very good point. I am on about 5 dating apps. Only been on them about a week. So far I have got about 14 hits for me to join cam sites. If I was looking for a cam site, I wouldn't be on a dating site. lol. I do live my life and cover my inner pain well. No one knows.

    • I should say, no one personally. One online knows, and then soon another once Logorithim has time. lol

  • I'm usually nervous or shy on initial dates when I don't know the woman that well before we go out. I can't say when I would move past that because it would depend mostly on the woman, sometimes I would get over that nervousness or shyness very quickly and sometimes it might take a little longer...

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  • I’m only nervous for the initial presentation. I calm down shortly after. First impression give me anxiety.

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  • When I ask her to be my girlfriend and we are officially together in saying that when I’m actually engaged to her is when I’m not nervous any more that’s when I know that she actually loves me very much

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  • When we meet. Then it sort of transfers to something else, what I cannot even describe. That stays. For long time.
    Job interviews are just fine. Meeting with some girl? That's the real shit.

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  • When I establish a physical contact. Hand-holding, sincere and affectionate hug, or even a nice gentle stare into their eyes.

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  • After she says "kiss me now, or lose me forever".

    Haven't had that issue now, did before.

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  • When I have my first sip. I don’t really get nervous, only on ones I’m really excited about or if it’s one who isn’t that talkative and I’m not sure how they’ll be in person haha.

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  • Depends on how long we've talked before, extremely nervous if we haven't talked but for like a week, not so much if it's been a month or longer, and usually at least by the 2nd date I'm not nervous

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  • The 2 dates I've ever been on I was only nervous until I met up with the girl. After we got talking it was easy.
    Women seem to be nervous for longer.

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  • When I find common ground where both of us are equal.

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  • When my date farted on me, I feel anything after that can not be nearly as bad.

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  • When the date starts. I'm only nervous leading up to the event but when I'm there im perfectly fine.

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  • when the conversation flows and you both smiling

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  • When I give her a big fat frenchie.

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  • 3rd or fourth date I guess

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  • When I'm licking her vag

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  • when she laughts at my awfull joke

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  • It takes around half an hour

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  • The first drink

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  • After the sex

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  • When I failed and the date is done...

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  • When her clothes come off.

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  • When she says " I think we should just be friends". Lol

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