Why are some guys persistent when the girl is clearly not interested?

I’ve experienced this many times, to the point I blatantly ignore males who will not back off.

For instance, one guy constantly kept ogling me whenever he saw me and repeatedly asking me to go to dinner with him (even after I made it clear that I have a boyfriend). So now when I see him, I completely ignore him. A few times he’s sat near me (if I’m on the local bus) with his whole body pointing towards me or like blocking the aisle of the bus so I can barely get past. It seems intentional to me.

Then, there’s another guy who I met at a bar literally four years ago and only talked to him a few times (like being polite when he approached me kinda thing). Haven’t seen the guy in four years and in the past year he’s sent me like countless messages on Facebook saying ‘hi Emma, how’s things?’ Or ‘are you going out tonight? x’ which is completely weird because we never were friends, merely acquaintances. I’ve repeatedly ignored his messages and not replied, and it baffles me as to why he still tries to reach out to me. After the second time I didn’t reply, surely he should know I’m not interested.

Is this intentional/deliberate behaviour from both of these guys? Are they deliberately being pushy or is it something else?
  • Sounds like these guys are being purposefully pushy and trying to make you uncomfortable.
    Vote A
  • Perhaps these guys are just clueless and have no idea what they’re doing.
    Vote B
  • This isn’t pushy behaviour.
    Vote C
  • Other...
    Vote D
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What Guys Said 13

  • Some guys actually like to pursue women. Its game to them if your taken. Its a turn on to them maybe I can win her heart. They are clueless because they dont listen.
    Some idiots go out there and say if she says no its an yes. These guys dont understand women.

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    • 3d

      Too true. These guys actually need to seriously get a grip.

  • From my experience some
    Girls don’t show or say they don’t like the guy so the whole mixed signals and everything isn’t helpful.
    I understand what you mean, not interested doesn’t mean being hard to get. It means she doesn’t want anything romantic.
    It’s all good but as I said earlier, some girls don’t be clear.

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    • 5d

      I get that, but I think I’m being pretty clear here. Telling a guy I have a boyfriend is supposed to show I’m committed. And ignoring a guy’s constant messages should say enough I’d think.

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    • 5d

      Yeah someone nice to talk to is nice

    • 5d

      Agreed :)

  • This is a common mentality among sex pests. They think that persistance will get you to say yes after you've said no a hundred times. Honestly, the best thing you can do with these kinds of people is publically humiliate them. A knee to the balls and a slap to the face as he bends down would probably do it. Makes everyone around him look at him and know he did something wrong.

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    • 3d

      Haha. Thanks for this. It’s exactly what these kinda guys are needing!

  • Intentional/deliberate? Yes. They need to seek counseling if they refuse to take no for an answer.

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    • 5d

      Thank you. I’d say so too! I don’t mind being friends with people, but if they’re going to be creepy and persistent it actually just makes me feel uncomfortable and I’ll outright ignore anyone that makes me feel like that.

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    • 5d

      I try to be. But every now and then, my mind messes with me. But I try to keep myself in check. I think the world would benefit a lot more if they read the Bible. The Bible has a lot of wisdom that still helps to this day.

    • 5d

      I think that happens to the best of us with the mind messing thing! I completely agree. The bible is so relevant and true to this day and age, and it should be absolutely integral in shaping all of our lives. Sadly, it’s being disregarded at an alarming rate in my surroundings.

  • It's A and B... it's obviously intentional, but they're also clueless, which is why they keep doing it. They're not intentionally trying to make you uncomfortable - they're trying to change your mind and will keep trying for a while, because... umm, they're clueless !! LOL

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    • 3d

      Hmm ok I see your point of view. I feel more like they’re trying intimidate/ force contact.

    • 3d

      Obviously they're trying to get your attention and a response. No one can force you to acknowledge them, so don't.

    • 3d

      Yup I don’t intend to... only acknowledgment they’re due getting is a punch right on the nose.

  • because we basically know that she is willing to date an asshole... cause like pretty much all do... and we know that the asshole is persistent... so ya
    lol

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    • 3d

      I don’t like ass holes though - let alone creepy ass holes!

    • 3d

      Your idea of an asshole is an abusing idiot
      No
      Our idea of an asshole is a guy that doesn’t give you 100% of what a boyfriend should but you stick around because they are sexy to you

      Like that lol

    • 3d

      It’s all the same to me! But nah, my boyfriend is super nice... I genuinely don’t like the asshole variety :)

  • Because they think they can win you over , also a lot of women do play games , and are uncertain for example a women can be unhappy with there boyfriend one minute they would contemplate going behind there boyfriend back to get to know the other guy so lead him on then the next they are ok with there boyfriend and push the guy away.. you have been clear you have a boyfriend, you haven’t been clear you not interested.. you should have said I have a boyfriend and I’m not interested. Not just I hve a boyfriend.. for example on girl , she had a boyfriend and I knew she did.. all the time I would chat her up in front of her friends and compliment her she would purposely avoid saying she has a boyfriend. Some would even cheat.. but they want you so bad , you just havnt been clear enough

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    • 3d

      Ok well, I’m not like that. And I feel I’ve been perfectly clear! Haha

  • Ya gotta follow ya dreams mane no matter what.

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  • Well, for one thing, you girls have basically supported an entire INDUSTRY (chick flicks) that glorify guys doing EXACTLY that.

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    • 3d

      Yeah but those chic flicks are SUPPOSED to mimic and over exaggerate some of the real life menaces that we need to put up with at times. Which makes them funny, cuz it’s true.

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    • 3d

      Yeah, I'm not sure you're familiar with chick flicks if you think that's the case.

    • 3d

      Whatever. I’ve watched many chick flicks.

  • Don’t like the “men should be the hunter/gatherer” thing anymore don’t ya

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    • 3d

      Never believed that one in the first place... let alone liked it...

    • 3d

      Well thank the other girls that preach that to the point where guys think they have to try harder

    • 3d

      Oh trust me, y’all don’t. Any girl who ‘preaches’ that one is a twit.

  • dude 1 is sitting on a bus thats not to get at you get over yourself
    dude 2 thinks you're friends and wants to hang out. you never said no, get over yourself.

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    • 3d

      I’m guessing you’re a creep too, then? Since you’ll so willingly back-up two blatant creeps? :). Must run in the genes.

      Also, you would realise I’m not even friends with the second guy if you’d actually taken proper care to read the question...

  • because sometimes a 100 no's and a restraining order means a yes.

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  • Probably don’t realize how pushy they are being since they really want to be with you so I guess very attractive

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    • 5d

      I wouldn’t even say I’m attractive to be honest 😅. I’ve just never experienced the likes of this - and I don’t like pushy people.

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    • 4d

      Maybe just wants some type of response to know you at least got the message, just tell him you have a boyfriend and not interested in messaging

    • 3d

      Oh he knows I got it, I’m on Facebook messenger often and my active status is always showing. It also shows when I read people’s messages, which I’ve read before.

What Girls Said 2

  • I had a stalker of an ex boyfriend and he definitely knew that I wanted nothing to do with him. Some men just don't know when or how to give up.

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  • Dumb thirsty hoes I’m dealing with guys like this now just ignore em lol

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    • 5d

      Yes I will continue to do so! These kinda guys are just sooooo bugging!

    • 5d

      I think the harsher and more clear you make it that you don’t want them the more you will leave them alone I’m not sure I usually just ignore instead of rejecting but that is online. I’ve had luck with only attractive guys approaching me in person

    • 5d

      Yeah I just don’t like being harsh, I try to be assertive - but it doesn’t always work. And generally I have attractive guys approach me I person too... but I have a boyfriend and generally they’re totally accepting of that :)

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