Would you continue a friends with benefits relationship with someone that didn’t want to take you on dates?

Would you continue with a friends with benefits arrangement with someone that didn’t want to take you on dates?

Not sure if I’m just not his type or if it’s his current situation (just starting to go through - divorce). So his life is pretty complicated right now. Mine isn’t much better.

I’m worried I’ll get too attached to him which is silly because I’m petrified of the thoughts of a relationship right now myself as I’ve just left my husband. But I do enjoy his company and the sex is great, as well as the post coital cuddles!

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Most Helpful Guys

  • You said:
    "I’m worried I’ll get too attached to him which is silly because I’m petrified of the thoughts of a relationship right now"

    You're already attached to him. You show it by asking this question. I'm not trying to come off as rude, but it trips me out that women still want to be taken out when it is clear and made clear that the relationship is either a friends with benefits or a one night stand.

    In my past, I have tried to have a few ONS with women I met online... and instead of jumping right to sex, they wanted to go out on a few dates, see if their was a connection and then have sex. That totally defeats the purpose of a ONS.

    Anyway... it's the same concept of what you are doing. You want girlfriend benefits when you guys are just friends with benefits.

    Would I continue a friends with benefits with someone who didn't want to go out on dates? YES! The point of a friends with benefits is to meet up, hang out a bit and fuck. If you want a date, go get a boyfriend.

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    • Yea I probably am too attached already.

      Regarding the no dates before an ONS - it does defeat the purpose but I for one would struggle to sleep with someone if there’s no chemistry or mental connection. The sex just wouldn’t be so good

  • Simple
    U have get attached

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    • Yea I probably have got attached. Can’t help it I guess when you’re seeing someone and being so close to them

    • I kinda feel like I need him in my life right now to help me get over whatever it is that I’m getting over. Maybe he’s the same 🤷🏼‍♀️ who knows I guess

    • Yea but it is damaging yourself, but its the consequences, so take responsibility and go through it

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not a friends with benefits kinda girl and I have a man but as I understand it the whole friends with benefits thing is about casual sex which means no dating, no fancy dinners, no gifts, no relationship and above all no future. So if you start going on dates you are not continuing a friends with benefits relationship anymore.
    I would be careful with the attachment part because I have some friends who got attached to their friends with benefits only for the guy to start serious relationships with other women and my friends were basically dropped very casually with "we can't see each other anymore as I'm seeing this amazing girl that I really like". Which seems rough but then they were in friends with benefits relationships that were meant to be short term.
    friends with benefits seem modern and liberating for Women who just want a bit of no strings casual sex but it always seems that women are always the ones that get hurt in friends with benefits relationships.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You're just there for sex, nothing else at this time. Why would someone want to be some guy's bitch when his last, or hers, wasn't dealt with first? You are like a rebound, just someone to satisfy his sex needs until he finds the right one for him. Then you are history as a friends with benefits is a no strings attached agreement.

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  • Well if a friends with benefits expected me to take her on dates then I'd think she wanted more than friends with benefits or didn't understand what friends with benefits actually means. How many friends do you take out on dates?

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    • Well erm, me and my friends always call it a date when we go out

    • Interesting.

  • Have you asked him out on a date yet or is it just more convenient to have sex now and blame him later for using you when you find out he doesn't want a relationship?

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    • I’ve suggested it and he started flapping about his head space

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    • So move on.

    • Yea - I want to date so won’t compromise on that. Like I wouldn’t expect him to either on what he does/doesn’t want

  • Two wounded souls need time to regain momentum for finding both body and soul until they form one entity. It is intrinsically intertwined, however, as we are getting more mature, our mind represses and hides our feelings every now and again.

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    • Those are very thought provoking words

      And we both have a hell of a lot going on in our lives right now

  • I once had a friends with benefits going on with one friend of mine. We were never on a date and never wanted to or never even thought about it. We were just friends to each other in both ways.

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  • i never go on dates with my friends with benefits... then you're just dating. i'd say that it's normal for a sexual relationship that you don't go out together

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  • Friends with benefits usually implied sex. If he wanted to take you on dates, then it's dating not friends with benefits.

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  • I would not be in a friends with benefits relationship if they expected dates. That's the point of friends with benefits... it's sex without the relationship.

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  • If they are an friend with benefits why are you worrying about going on a date?

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  • friends with benefits is just for sexual interaction

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  • You don’t date your friends with benefits. Purely sex

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  • friends with benefits is just a fancy way to say "fuckbuddy", deal with it.

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  • I wouldn't go into a friends with benefits relationship in that first place. That's one of the many reasons why.

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  • friends with benefits does not require dates. It means you just fuck and that’s it. You’re already attached

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  • Friends wth benifits are for sex not dates.

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  • I would never be friends with benefits with someone (well anymore). Clearly the person isn't interested in you but the attention you're giving them. You're just a piece of ass to him and nothing more. Its not even "friends" with benefits, its just someone you contact when you're horny and bored. I had this guy friend who was friends with this woman but he would never marry her or date her because she had kids and she was too old but she had a nice body which it what he likes.

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  • Lmao al girls get friendswith benefits until they realize they're too mentally weak and fall for the guy who literally fucks her over only for pleasure

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  • No matter the circumstances or how you feel about a relationship, you can still become attached because feelings are just that, you can't control them. As far as dates, a fwbs situation doesn't usually involve dates at all. Some exceptions yes, but not usually.

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