I met this guy and we seemed to hit it off on our first date (We'll be going on our second date soon).
He likes me and is attracted to me but I can't help but feel insecure.
I feel like I'm dating out of my league. He has an amazing personality and he is a genius.
We have similar interests and I can easily talk to him even though my social anxiety inhibits communication at times (he understands).
I have feelings for him but I feel like I could never measure up.
How do I get over feeling insecure?
Most Helpful Guys
Firstly, thank you for taking the time to speak your mind. Secondly, I think you are criticizing your self a little harshly, by saying: 'but I feel like I could never measure up.'
If you can talk freely to him and (he understands) even though your social anxiety inhibits communication at times.. and... Yet, he still understands you. Is this not something good?
I do not think that you should stress about what you have said thus far ( I have all too often stressed over my insecurities or, how I think, I should or should not measure up to other people around me).
However, I would, if I was in you position; speak to your closest and most trusted friend and tell them about your situation and see what your closest friend says... they may ask you; What is it that makes you feel that you could never measure up? Or What makes you feel insecure within yourself? Lastly, Why do you ever, need to measure up to some else's abilities or intelligence?
Are you not unique and special in your own way? (this includes all of who you are inside as well), not just how other people see you; but rather who you are inside - This is what matters most.
It is what lies within the heart of the person, not just, the external qualities of that person which, defines the person. Your Heart and Mind, Body and Soul together, make you who you are as a person. You are Unique and Therefore, there is never any need to measure up your self with someone else, simply because you feel that you could never measure up to be the same as the other person.
You're going on a second date. That means he's already interested.
He may think he's dating out of his league by getting you to agree to a second date.
If your profile pic is you, then that's VERY possible.
Don't use sex to boost how you feel. It doesn't work.
Talk to him and get to know him. I mean REALLY get to know him, not the superficial stuff in a first two or three dates. You're 21. What's your hurry?
Most Helpful Girl
See what exactly makes you "insecure", honestly, do you unconsciously compare yourself with him? For ex. there's this amazing guy my sister's friend met, they looked like made for each other and stuff. He was a cook, she couldn't cook. He'd often cook new recipes to impress her (we all knew him too well), his intentions weren't to show her down or patronize her. But she took it to heart. That a women should at least know cooking. Well well well, that insecurity ruined their relationship, but they solved it (well, kudos to me😉)
Some girls even ask this:
he could have any girl, then why me?
He ain't an idiot, he knows what he wants. Don't read too much into it!
Bottom line, comparison to other ladies or your guy won't get you anywhere. Accept your flaws and move on.