Do you agree with this woman who told me to mind my own business?

My friend has been dating this guy for over 4 months. When they first got together, he was very kind to her. He was like a dream - driving 6-10 hours every weekend to take her on dates at beaches and shopping trips in different countries. They hung out every day and he paid for everything even though he had very little money. Now she cries a lot.

She told me on the last date they had he told her she was a worthless piece of trash and a gold digger and a slut and worthless whore.

She did sleep around and have very low standards before she started dating him - putting up with men who used her for money and had no respect for her.

But I said they should break up and she shouldn't be with a guy who treats her like that.

And a lady told me to mind my own business and not butt into other people's love's lives.

Was she right in telling me to mind my own business?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • You have the right to help out a friend. And I agree with you that if he isn’t showing her respect now then she will never get it from her. We... none of us can change our histories. Whom ever that lady was tell her to mind her own business.

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  • No. She complained to you and you responded. If she didn't want a response she should have kept it to herself. I'm sorry for her but if this keeps up you may have to drop her.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • She's your friend and you care about her well being while this other lady probably doesn't give a f*ck, so... no, I don't agree with her.

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  • Whos this “lady”?
    If your friend asked you for advice your entitled to state your opinion

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What Girls & Guys Said

1721
  • The lady just overheard the conversation and said that? In that case I would have said follow your own damn advice. We rely on our friends and usually want their opinions even without asking. I’ve learned to not give advice of leaving anyone because it usually comes back to haunt you later but supporting your friend by saying she deserves better no matter what would be a better way so that it doesn’t bite you on the ass later.

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  • Kind of yes, kind of no. As friends, it's sort of our duty to look after each other and do what we think is best for them.
    I know it's harsh, but I feel like all of these problems could have been avoided if she had been celibate. I hate to say it but sex before marriage causes way more problems than we think before we do it. There will always be repercussions.

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  • no. if your friend wnats your opinion you can share it.
    so sad, sounds like he discovered her past and had a bad reaction to it... given all he was putting in... thats my impression. maybe it would be resolvable by her putting in the lions share so he doesn't feel used. This is one of the problems with women devaluing themselves...

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  • No, she wasn’t right in saying that. You were right in saying that to your friend. You are spilling facts and giving great advice. Someone who would mind their own business instead not encouraging their friend to leave a toxic situation is a terrible friend. You did good 👌🏽

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  • I don't think there's anything wrong with helping your friend. If she's a good friend of yours, some of her business can become your own, because you would not want her to get hurt.

    However, I don't know the context, so it's hard to tell what made the man said that, when he had voluntarily spent all that money for your friend (unless he was testing her?)

    Do you mean that your friend used to sleep with men who gave/spent money on her, or who used her money?

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  • Your friend "told you" what happened- she implicitly asked you for advice by explaining things to you about her situation. Ask your friend if she still needs/wants your help, and if she agrees, then tell "a lady" to mind HER own business.

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  • who the fuck would drive 6+ hours to somebody are u kidding me
    this guy is sick in the head?
    tell her this guy has brain problems and she has too probably

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    • I drove from liverpool to Brighton on south coast every Friday to see girl friend took about 6 hours in 1970s in mini cooper Jennifer was lovely lived in bognor Regis ( song ) those where the days.

  • I guess your friend didn't tell him here real number of sex partners when they had that discussion and he found out. can't really blame him for a bad reaction, id prob not have a good reaction if i invested a lot in my prospected SO only to find out half the town have had sex with here

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  • No if the pain is presented to you, like If she can’t cope and presented her agony to you. Then it is like a request for counseling at the least. Not to take actions but to listen and offer your insight, framed appropriately as your concern.

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  • She doesn't deserves a friend like you
    You were trying to advice her well if she doesn't understand in one or two advice you know what the best think is stop advincing her and don't give a Fuck to her shit leave her in get way one day she will learn her own lesson.

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  • She is your friend you know what she is like as a person. no man who is dating woman should call her a who're. you or I don't know how she acted on dates, she may have used him to get what she wanted. So there may be some truth to what guy said. as for woman to tell you to mind your own business seems a bit petty.(Song) THATS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR

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  • Yes she was. STAY OUT OF PEOPLE'S BUSINESS. Seriously.
    It's HER choice to make, NOT YOURS.
    If it's not a match and she doesn't like him she'll dump him. You have WAY bigger fish to fry in your OWN life. Focus on that.

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    • Relax. She has every right to try and help her friend get out of something clearly toxic for her. The reply "mind your own business" just means you're arrogant as fuck

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    • Thats a miserable and arrogant way to go but you know, whatever suits you

    • Her friend first choosed to tell her entire fucking story just because if she could help her out and when she adviced her she told her to mind her own business that is rude and you are also being rude

  • Every positive aspect of the relationship that you mentioned - him paying for everything, him driving long distances to the beach, and him taking her on shopping trips to different countries - are based on money.

    If the only positives she's told you is how much money he spends on her, then she is a gold digger. If she slept around a lot, with liw quality men, then she isn't a whore exactly - but she's a slut. She would be a whore if he assumed that she expected the other men to lavish her with money like she did with him, though.

    To be honest, it sounds like your friend did something, and you don't need to worry about telling her to break up with him - he's already halfway out the door, but of his own accord.

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  • "Minding your own business" sometimes leaves people being abused for years longer than they might have if a "nosy" neighbour intervenes. This isn't a relationship issue, this is an abuse and self esteem issue.

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  • I don't agree with that lady. Your friend approached you first to get advice, which means she's allowing you to be part of her business.

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  • So... two friends are talking and some woman butts in telling you to mind your business... can you smell the irony?

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  • Yes they should brake up because he doesn't need a gold digging whore in his life. Also you should mind your own god damn business, but do get her to leave him for the guys sake.

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  • i think you can have your opinion but i also think that you have no business in fixing other peoples relationships unless you are a professional in that field.

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  • She he payed for everything and she used to sleep with lots of men. What part of what he told her was inaccurate?

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  • This sounds like an abusive relationship to me, with the abuser providing gifts and apologies every once in a while to make the victim feel good, then abusing them again. I personally think you're friend is in denial, and should get out of the relationship, but telling her she should break up and getting angry when she doesn't agree with you may make her feel isolated, and may make her want t stay with the abuser for comfort. I don't know why the guy called her a worthless whore, maybe she cheated on him and deserved to be berated, but if he consistently treats her like that after she apologized and he says he forgave her, then she should get out of the relationship. You should try to provide her with solid facts and show her how he is abusing her and allow her to make the decision to end the relationship by herself.

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  • Yes. I’m sorry. While I agree with you a little. The situation you describe is one I was planning to do when my wife and I were having a bad run. I was going to get a girl that would kind of be interested in love/sex/time for a bump up a few steps in lifestyle. It is extremely common. If he treated her well during the relationship, how they break up is not really important. He could have been more tactful. But maybe he was hurt and wanted to hurt her back. If she was what he was looking for then he may have had big plans that got ruined by her past. I wouldn’t want anyone with more than 2 partners before me. Preferably none. I have two before my wife and so had she. That’s about as much as I can handle. Her as well.

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  • Since she is your friend, the lady wasn’t right telling you to mind your own business.

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  • your friend said this to you after she vented or some other lady said this to you?

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  • The girl is your friend, she is in a way apart of your life, and friends do look out for each to an extent. You can only provide advice and encourage and support her. She, in the end, has to come to her conclusion in what she wants to do. It’s actually dangerous to intervene in someone else’s love life, and if your friend is seeking your help, it is, in fact, apart of your business cause she herself has come to you and chose to involve you, though be cautious where and how far you tread your involvement as it can have troubling and even worse outcomes w. o much thought...

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    • Also, always good to get the facts.. most times, not from just one mouth.

  • No, but what she did with other guys was wrong, so he had a right to let her have it. So, you are not wrong, but he was right too.

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  • If it’s your friend then no especially if she telling you this.

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  • No you were giving your best friends advice and helping her

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  • Yes you did what you could if her life is destroyed its on her

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  • No he want u be dutifully a future prostitute

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  • Who was this "lady"

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  • Yes I do. But I also blame feminism.

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  • You were in the right.

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  • Sometimes it ain't good to make waves.

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  • Yeah

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  • It depends how it’s said more than what’s said really. But no, you’re entitled to give your friend emotional support if that’s actually what she wants.

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  • Lots of girls like being treated like shit. Your friend is one of them it sounds like.

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  • This is one-sided so I can't make a judgement. Why did he say that stuff? Yet, prior to saying that he did everything for her.

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  • Tell that lady to "go fuck yourself!" You are helping your friend!!!

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