Crush that lasted for 10 years?

We’ve been friends for like 11 years. He is one of my cousin’s best friends. When we first met at my cousin’s house 11 years ago, he blurred out he was falling in love with me. We all laughed and I didn’t pay attention to it. We’d all go out to hang out a few times. 2 years later we went to a moutain cabin to celebrate new years eve, with his then girlfriend. she and her friends left the next day and our group stayed for a few more days. one morning i wake up and he is lying next to me. we talk and he goes “you know i love you right?” and leaves. another year passes, we’re both single now. so we briefly start dating over the summer. we just hang out and kiss a few times. after the summer he goes back with his ex. i was quite sad because i liked him back then.

they broke up shortly after, and over the next years we kept in touch every now and then. i was in a relationship for 4 years, and don’t know much about him as we did not meet that much. he would still write from time to time and tell me he misses me and regrets what happened. i laughed it off always, i wasn't interested in that anymore.

we started hanging out over the past year. he had a girlfriend but kept telling me he can't forget about me and everytime he sees me in person he keeps thinking about me all the time. i didn't say anything to that. then they broke up again.

i went through some rough times recently and he was there always. he helped me out a lot. my cousin is annoyed that every time they are out he only talks about me and asks about me. when i join them he will touch me nonstop, tease me and compliment me. He will say something like I just don’t get why I still can’t get you out of my head after 10 years.

I found myself thinking about him more. I just don’t feel like he actually likes me, I think he just likes the idea of me or something and he will do what he did went back to his ex. I expect the same thing again. What should I do? I am terrfied to let myself like him, yet I can't help it not to


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  • The best working principle is: if it doesn't work to the 2n'd date, it will not work. So don't make it last years, just get a boyfriend who's reliable and dedicated.


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