What do you get with marriage that you don't already get with a long term relationship?

Finally married!
Finally married!

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I can see both sides of it. I look at it more from the standpoint of seeing enough real life examples to believe that you gain more in marriage than just a long term relationship. I think of 6 couples I knew from highschool/college. There are the obvious relationships that no one thought would last, they got married too young and got divorced. But it was also the relationships that were on the verge of breakup and thought that marriage would solve their problems. Obviously it didn't and they paid the price for that mistake.

    Of the people who had solid relationships and didn't get married (3), only 1 couple is still together today and still talk about getting married.

    Of the group that got married, barring the first couple that were on the verge of breakup and eventually divorced. The other 2 are still together today.

    While, yes the 1 non married couple has a pretty good relationship. When I'm in the presence of the 2 couples that are married the relationship is just different. The air between them feels much more loving and deeper than the non married couple. The non married couple does have good chemistry, but there's this sense of them just not being as serious and I'm not someone who believes that everyone should get married or that longterm relationships don't work without marriage. They definitely do and I also believe that if you're together long enough without getting married, then you're actually better off not getting married, because statistically if you had a longterm enough relationship without marriage and you do get married. You have a higher percentage of getting divorced than people who got married earlier on.

    Mostly because what made the relationship work was the sense that you could just leave at any time. There was no external pressure of having to make it work. So when you put a ring on it, now that sense of freedom is gone and it's a bit more pressure than you're able/willing to withstand and it affects the relationship negatively. Obviously the examples are all anecdotal and there are plenty of married people who are unhappy in their marriage so my examples are all anecdotal. But I point to those 3 relationships because all of them are happy relationships. So I consider them relatively fair examples, rather than just saying "married people are happier and non married couples are just playing house".

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Most Helpful Girls

  • You get unbreakability and social status. Breaking up a romantic relationship is a lot easier than breaking up a marriage so people who are serious about being with each other - in good times and bad - in poverty and in riches - in sickness and health - choose the marriage root. I actually don't socialize with unmarried couples - I think they are living in active sin against God by living together and sleeping with each other when they are not married. Its different if they are dating each other but I will not date two people who live together when they are not married.

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    • Well not to rude, but it would be sin for them only if they believe in a God.

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    • I don't really think it's a horrible thing, but more so they aren't serious enough about each other to make it forever.

    • I personally don't believe you need marriage to prove that it's forever

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If someone is unwilling to commit to marriage, then it reveals a lack of confidence in our commitment. Since marriage is not as easily dissolved as is cohabitation, marriage offers some assurance that the relationship will not disappear the first time I leave my socks in the middle of the bedroom floor.

    Marriage offers social acceptance in some circles. And, for me, marriage offers comfort.

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  • divorce...

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  • Paper, commitment, non bastard kids, shared taxes, more difficulty to get out of it, a ring, in my case his nationality and he also takes mine, child support.

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  • The same last name
    Non bastard kids
    Calling someone your husband / wife.

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  • Tax benefits, you have less struggle when you want to visit your partner at an emergency room and also less burocracy when having a child together. That's pretty much it.

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  • This question still keeps me up at night, honestly. Since I’ve grown old enough to adapt to the real world, I no longer encourage marriage for any couple I know, or even myself. I only fantasized about it as a kid when I thought it was what kept love alive forever (this was a more moral period it seems), but I’ve witnessed far too many divorces now for people I know (& family members) that I’ve lost all faith in that sacrament

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  • For those who truly understand and embrace marriage, they get the long lasting love and bond that you don't get in other relationships. Many people got married without truly understanding and accepting what marriage is about, which is a very common/major reason/cause for the divorce rate. People say marriage causes divorce. But that's not true, because there are still people on their first marriage. So, clearly marriage does not cause divorce. You want to know things that truly cause divorce? Money, incompatibility, infidelity, distrust, jealousy, deception... Marriage is NOT one of them. People who know divorced couples or are divorced themselves usually push the blame on others when the blame typically resides on them (either partially or fully). It takes two to tango in a marriage. You may ask how a person can be responsible for a divorce when they really didn't do anything wrong. They can be responsible by either not seeing or ignoring warning signs that compatibility was an issue in any way, shape or form. You MUST know your partner COMPLETELY. As if they are your clone. As if you two are One (person). If you can't or won't do that, then the marriage is doomed from the start. If you notice something about your partner that doesn't seem right or normal, then dig into that. Find out what that is. Seek counseling if they are willing. If they are not willing to go to counseling, then you know they are hiding something or being deceptive and they are not to be trusted - even if it's something small (remember, small things can lead to big things). I'm not saying you or they have to be perfect, because no one is. But anyone who is or attempts to be deceptive should be held accountable for such direction. Nobody said marriage would be easy, because it's not. But it is possible to be married your whole life to one and only one person.

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  • A physical symbol that you have committed yourself to your partner, your long-term girlfriend or boyfriend. A promise that you are going to be faithful and the bond of marriage to make it harder to run off and cheat. Some people act different when they get married but if you are going to view it as an end to your fun life and being nothing more than a ball and chain, then your marriage certainly won't last long! How much do you love your partner? Show the world with that band on your finger...

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  • Legal stuff, mostly. If your spouse dies, everything will always go to you or the parties that the spouse settled on when making the contract. If you’re not married, you could be left with nothing.

    Marriage simply means legal security and a great party where I get to look real pretty to me.

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  • Divorce and alimony almost 50% of the time.

    Also, the significance of marriage is culturally reletive. So, in some parts of the world, there's no difference, while in others, it is.

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  • A ring, a lukewarm piece of chicken, an afternoon with your boyfriend/girlfriend/non-binary date-mate's relatives, and symbolism.
    xx
    ~ Mrs Manson

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  • You make a stronger commitment to the relationship, the strongest there is. It's the strongest commitment of being together and loving each other there is. Among other things. It's not half way, or three quarters of the way, it's the whole way into the relationship.

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  • Simple

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  • Tax benefits, and hospital visitation. Also for religious people it can quell guilt surrounding sex, and stop parental nagging.

    The real benefits are for children, numerous studies have shown that children of married parents have a significant statistical advantage over other children. They on average do better in school, are less likely to engage in criminal activity, and have a higher average income.

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  • More headaches and stress.

    ... I'm kidding all you married folks out there! Lol

    Honestly other than the right to take your partner's last name, sharing taxes, and basically getting the rights to their property and assets if something happens to the other? There's not a huge difference.
    Almost everything you do with a long term partner, can equate to a married couple. I have a friend that's been with his girlfriend for over 15 years! No plans to marry her, ever. However, you'd swear they were married by how they live their lives.

    Yet another reason I don't believe you don't need an overpriced ceremony and piece of paper to define your love with another person.

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  • Technically nothing... except God’s blessing if you’re religious and feel sex outside of marriage is wrong.

    Frankly any man who doesn’t hold that view I think is foolish to even consider marriage at this present time.

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    • Because it seemed God wanted there to be a separate class of people who get married and can enjoy all the stuff like sex, etc. and the rest of them are poor losers lol.

      Elements of my religion I grew up on sounded so emasculating.

  • some potential tax breaks. investment opportunities of family filing. researched better mental health and longer life expectancy. easier to move money around from one to the other without taxation. some potential better insurance opportunities.

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  • You wife gets a big red button that says eject.

    She can press it whenever she wants, for whatever reason. When pressed you loose your kids, half you money and earnings and your love life.

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    • Ouch, but true. That's why all men need prenups, regardless of their financial status

  • If things don’t work out screwed in court or paid in court depending on if you have an outie or an innie respectively. Other than that pretty much everything else can be had with appropriate paperwork.

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  • You get to pay alooot of money for the ceremony :D you vould get a divorce, and possibly a prenup
    That is if u decide to go for marriage

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  • My question exactly. I see marriage as a kind of trap for guys nowadays.

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    • You ain't kidding. I left my last girlfriend before things got too far out of hand... she had confidence issues, anxiety issues and MAJOR daddy and attachment issues... NO THANK YOU.

    • You dodged a bullet there!

    • Hell yeah I did! On top of that the sex sucked too... yeah I'm not really missing anything at all from that relationship. I'm actually glad it's over.

  • A ring lol bedside visitation in hospitals, maybe cheaper taxes.

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  • A ring, less sex, and for her to be upset for the littlest details!!!
    WELCOME TO MARRIED LIFE!!

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  • A legal contract and a ring. That is pretty much it. Even the ring didn't mean anything to my ex-wife because she sold it for 1/10 of what a paid for it.

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    • If a man isn’t religious, marriage doesn’t make a huge difference for him.

  • First debs on one of those kidneys.

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  • A debt of 80k, gifts that you'll soon resell and the near inevitability of a divorce, thereby losing half of your things to the bish Karen!

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  • with a LTR you get to keep half your stuff unlike a divorce you loose half maybe more.

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  • Marriage makes both individuals try harder to make it work when it becomes rough. You look at wedding pics and think about how you started or why it is worth fighting for.

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  • My relationship was perfectly fine until we decided to get married. So I won't do that again😂

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    • Because the truth has been revealed... marriage uncover many things... also marriage ain't made for everyone, only the honest good people with real intentions are suitrd for marriage.

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    • Don't have to be alone, just not married either. A piece of paper doesn't make people good people. It's irrelevant.

    • so you think your relationship would take a better turn if you guys wouldn't had married each other?

  • Legal benefit bullshit, such as being able to put them as next of kin and so on. Otherwise, nothing.

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  • Married couples filing jointly can save on their taxes (although there can be a “marriage penalty” depending on your joint income).
    Social Security, Medicare, disability, and veterans benefits can be transferred to spouses.
    Health insurance savings are greater when a couple can combine into one single health plan.
    Joint ownership of checking and investment accounts offers savings as does joint ownership of property.
    Various beneficial instruments like trusts can only be done between married persons.
    You can find more here:
    www.nolo.com/.../...age-rights-benefits-30190.html
    Of course the laws will be different in other countries and states, I am merely displaying some of the ones from the USA

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  • Tax benefits, unnecessarily expensive rings, vows that you probably won't keep or will eventually resent, maybe regret, expensive and emotionally exhaustive divorce

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  • The assurance that we can have sex without going to hell 😂

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    • If we were to go to hell for having sex without being married then we wouldn’t be able to have sex at all

    • Lol what? Some of the most populated countries in the world are ones where people don't have sex before marriage 😂

  • Losing all my shit in divorce.
    That's not worth the Tax benefits.

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  • It’s not about gain. Marriage is a sacred ceremonial bind of trust and compassion.

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  • A chance to lose half your possessions in divorce court

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  • Tax deductibles. Easier paperwork when it comes to emergencies.

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  • Tradition. Why don't people believe in marriage anymore. I'm sorry but if I'm with the love of my life I would want to be married and have children.

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    • Because feminism and modern women ruined the whole idea of getting married. Why would a man sign a legal agreement with someone who holds a vast majority of the legal rights and powers?

      A man would be a fool to get married today. He is basically asking for half his shit and his income for years to come to get stolen by a heartless immoral bitch.

      Women these days are making it clear that they are not worth it.

  • A feeling of entrapment 🤷‍♀️☺️

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  • Commitment

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    • Long term relationships are commitments.. what is the difference? Marriage is somehow a bigger commitment or is just a bigger expense?

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    • Religious aspects I get but commitments are commitments. No contracts or rings should make that commitment more solid. Thanks for the comments.

    • Yeah, your word is your bond. Unfortunately most people act like they promised to stay together until things get hard, or the feelings are gone, or until someone better comes along.

  • The feeling of being taken by heart and by soul and by legally too😍 to start a family

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  • The sanction of your society , you are connected , your children are connected the vow you made to your wife is now official and will be recognized by those around you and given legal recognition. Of course it works much better in a homogeneous functioning society where such things can even have meaning. The society we live in now is so distorted by our nihilistic amoral views that even homosexuals can be "married". So called "feminism" designed to weaponize women and demoralize society runs rampant and men are targeted by subverted family courts.

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  • marriage is stability

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    • The divorce rate is over 50% so how is that any more stable. Seems as if people are willing to throw away marriage just like they are any long term relationship?

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    • I think these down votes can be so random and for no reason at times. I got down voted on one post 11 times and I was basically agreeing with the majority of people... who knows!

  • Nothing really, it's an outdated ritual with no intrinsic value

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  • Knuffin. It's a win win for her in terms of capital gains and security.

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  • financial divorce rape that was until common relationship laws eek

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  • Legal shit

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  • A ring and a husband/wife. That's pretty much it.

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  • In marriage you become one flesh

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  • A wedding!😍😍

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