Give up hope? Can that 'spark' be revived?

Four years ago, I met someone at a wedding. Through a mutual friend, we exchanged emails.

500 miles seperates us.

We keep in touch, and we both we have a lot in common. Early on, she shows an obvious interest and tells me she likes me. I'm flattered, but don't give in. Our communicaition goes from regular online chat to phone calls. I'm starting to like her, but never expressely tell her (a weakness from a bad experience where I got hurt before). We start writing letters to each other. I went to visit her couple times. I still never tell her blatantly I really like her.

A few months ago, I finally call her and tell her I like her. She's happy to finally hear it. I tell her I'm going to come visit her in a few weeks. I wasn't myself that weekend, I was nervous, needy, just not in my zone. After the weekend, I was shocked when she told me she's not interested in me. I never saw it coming.

I don't want to give up on her. One important factor is that we are both indian, and marriages have to be generally within your 'community'. Me and her are both from same community, which is a major compatibility factor.

We got very close over the past 4 years. I don't want to give up on that even if she is willing to. I think she is just confused.I don't know . Can that spark that we had for so long be revived?


Most Helpful Girl

  • That's a difficult situation. If she's important to you, tell her that you want her in your life as friends and tell her that you don't expect anything else (even if you feel differently). I wouldn't talk about the meeting, much less go into a long explanation about what went wrong. That makes it worse. See if she's willing to still communicate and be friends, make that very clear to her that your intentions are pure. If you both pick up where you left off, then who might get a chance to redeem yourself in the future. In the meantime, I'd recommend that you focus your romantic interests on other girls near you or "in your community" and it's good for her to see/know that you're dating, not waiting on her. In other words, this the kind of advice that is given to girls that are typically the ones in your shoes. Just think of the whole situation as if it were reversed. You're fortunate because girls are a little more analytical, guys make decisions quick and fast about a girl.they move on quickly, not able to forgive and forget. Good luck!


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • .ok well if she said she did want to see you before and doesn't after then maybe you did something wrong. even tho she shouldve given it a couple more times of seeing each other I think you should let it go. its really sad but I dnt think its all that smart to be in long distance anyway. it dsnt seem very healthy. but its up to you. if you think you can save it then go for it

  • Dont Give Up.

    Keep Talking to her as if nothing happend.

    leave it for a few weeks and start flirting again a little more. try to revive that spark, because afte reading that I know its most likely still there. =]


What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Loading... ;