Tinder date sends woman list of improvements after first date. Opinions?


Kimberley Latham-Hawkesford went on a date with a man she met on Tinder in December. Three months later, the suiter allegedly sent her a very lengthy set of improvements for her to make before their next meeting.

On Facebook, the 24-year-old posted the surprising list, where it has gone viral with over 24K shares and 15K reactions

"At first I was absolutely mortified and it killed my confidence, but the more I read it the funnier it became. I couldn’t understand how a guy could say such things to a woman,” she said.
Tinder date sends woman list of improvements after first date. Opinions?
"Hello Kimberley, I know we went on a date quite a while ago now but I’d like to explain why I haven’t messaged you. I feel like you could have made the date much better, here’s a few reasons why. I apologize if I offend you."

The pages of text continue with a 15 bullet-point list, mapping out each way James allegedly feels Latham-Hawkesford could improve herself.

• If you lost some weight you would look incredible. Maybe a stone or so.

•You are very pale. I know you aren't a fan of the sun but a bit of fake tan won't hurt.

•You have quite big boobs so you should show off your cleavage more.

•I think you need to wear clothes that suit your figure and maybe update your style slightly. Just so I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you.

•You need to dye your hair a normal colour and add extensions. Longer hair is much more attractive😍

•You need to look more natural, stop wearing makeup. Just make yourself look decent but don't overkill it.

• Your lips have gone down so you should think of getting more filler. I know you said you regretted it but filler would make you sexier.

•You need so much more confidence, confidence is sexy!

•The fact you take things slow makes you look like a prude. I didn't get a kiss which messed with my ego. Be more sensitive to others feelings.

•When we had food I know you got a salad but having full fat coke is more calories you really don't need.
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Updates:
• You need to keep your past to a minimum. I don't care about it and what you went through.

• Get a sense of humour, you didn't laugh at a single one of my jokes.

• You just seemed a bit stuck up. Sort your personality out.

•You made me feel like shit when you offered to pay. It's like you thought I didn't have enough money after telling you how much is in my account.

•You didn't compliment me once.

If you take these on board I might consider another date. I will give you a month and get back in touch to see if this made a difference. Good day to you Kimberly.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I mean, giving some pointers on how to make a date better would be more than welcome. But asking someone to change their whole appearance and personality, only to agree to a second date is hilarious. Why did he go on a date with her in the first place? 😂

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Most Helpful Guy

  • women need to be held to a higher standards and pull their weight in dating

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If he disliked that much about the girl, why would he bother to message her with this list. I strongly suspect that this is something that was fabricated for the purpose of grabbing 15 minutes of fame.

    I would never make even one suggestion like this after a first date. That is quite presumptuous and rude.

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  • Dude obviously needs to be water boarded with full fat coke so he can learn what confidence is all about! HA

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  • He has the absolute right to think so or write it down on a paper, to a friend or his diary, but is nonsense to share that with his date. If she hasn't laugh is because she isn't in the same type of humor, if she hasn't complimented hi. she isn't really into him, what's the point of telling someone that obviously sends signals of not beign interested this stuff? Is this guy Sheldon Cooper or what?

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  • I question as to why that would be the case. Seems rather odd that a guy would go to that effort to actively look like a prick (and lets be honest, everything in their sounds like its intentionally assholish) for nothing. Kind of curious what she said or did (or if she just made it up as three months seems like a long time to wait to give this message).

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  • He's either a troll just trying to get a reaction or really full of himself actually believing any woman would be crazy enough to change ALL that. eiher way he has way too much time to obsess over every tiny detail of a date that happened 3 months ago lol

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  • Screw him he does not respect her, the only time I would ever ask a woman to change something about her for me would be to quit smoking but that's more for her than me as I would care about her.

    Guys a jerk! Imaging how controlling he would be in a relationship, maybe a narcissist there

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  • That guy seems like a lunatic. Like wtf honestly. He is going to say that she needs a sense of humor cause she didn't laugh at his jokes. This has got to be one of the most egotistical people I have ever saw.

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  • The update was funny..
    I did figure out, reading the first part that he felt like shit, because a guy doesn't really have standards.. Something was behind all that and it was his hurted self esteem..
    I got that right..

    But many of his advices were good advices.

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  • There’s a part of me that thinks that men probably have just as much preferences and specifics as women, but women have less of an issue outwardly/verbally expressing this.

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    • Even most women aren’t this picky lmao

    • Maybe not as detailed as this man, but just as women will notice seemingly small details during a date with a man, a man will notice small details on the part of the woman as well. Now, a woman might tell her friends more so than a man would maybe, but even if this isn’t the case I feel women might be more verbal in their noticing of specifics or what they perceive to be undesirable, and men will notice them and not be as verbal. I could be wrong of course.

  • Well, I kina annoyed me when I read it.. Like dude, chill out.. He really became that specific, after not talkin to her for 3 months.. I wouldn't be mortified.. I would tell him to shove those "improvements" up his broke a$$..

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  • Some guys like to control women. They want to have like a master/slave relationship. If you can convince a girl that she is inferior and needs to do better to please you, you are halfway there. I'm not even talking about a healthy D/S relationship here, I'm talking physical and emotional abuse, manipulation, gaslighting the whole nine yards.

    I don't think this guy will be a good boyfriend for you.

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  • Just like women, men are allowed to have preferences and standards.. sadly no one, and I do mean no one would bat an eye if a women were making these kinds of demands on a man..

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    • Yeah they would, are you crazy? Anyone this picky gets shit from everyone else across the board, regardless of if their a man or woman.

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    • 7d

      I do agree everyone has a right to have standards but no one male or female I think should be this rude to someone. Trust me I have seen just how shitty females can be, my own older sister is the worst. She told me once I needed to get a rich man take everything he's got and then dump him...

      I and my mum have nothing to do with her anymore.

    • 7d

      No disagreement here.. seriously the guy was rude, I was just calling out hypocrisy I have seen out of a lot of women on this site

  • I feel Kimberly should also make a list of improvements for the guy and if he responds kindly and is willing to change for her, she could consider to go out on another date with him.
    On a serious note, this guy will never find the girl that he wants if he is so nit-picky on every single detail. It's one thing being confident and speaking out one's mind and another thing being overly unreasonable. I like how he mentioned Kimberly didn't compliment him once but he didn't even bother to try to compliment her himself. Respect works both ways, and sometimes one needs to start respecting others before he can gain respect from others.

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  • It's okay to make a suggestion, but a whole list? And after some months of last dating her? That's just silly.

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  • Haven't seen how she look but not too sure if the guy had a clue what he's talking about.

    Gonna need power point, a chart, projections and probably a cup of coffee.

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  • This is at the same time, ridiculous and offensive. It's so funny when he says be considerate of others' feelings while he said those things to her. He should get some help.

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  • Wow! What a douche nozzle.
    Favorite line
    “I didn't get a kiss which messed with my ego. Be more sensitive to others feelings”
    😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

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  • It's both a great and horrible idea because of the mix of genuine tips and improvements and people being shallow or just douches.

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  • I refuse to believe this is serious.
    Poe's law is at full power here!

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  • This guy is an absolute legend. He is surely guaranteed a second date after showing such bravado! 😉

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  • This guy is a puts who died and made him the gift for women.
    lol where did he come up with such stupid demands.

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  • Love that he wrote she should get a sense of humor because she didn´t laugh at any of his jokes...

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  • This is what it happens when people buy the "you deserve more, raise your standards" meme without measure, critical thinking nor any context.

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  • It's a bit rude. Maybe few ideas for improvement would be ok, but not a list like that. Also he was a bit offensive in some of his ideas.

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  • I saw this the other day, like wow I was shocked so danm rude!

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  • if he's that opinionated, he should have just ghosted her. if he didn't like her then just walk away...

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  • I have an opinion... Dude needs to chill or go fuck himself.

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  • Wow. Is he for real? I say make a list like that for him and then move on. See how he likes it then.

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  • It's honest, and I think that's what the dating scene needs, but I don't share the same opinions as this guy.

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  • If Kimberly wants to date him again she must be desperate. Or else he's rich AND has a big schlong.

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  • Call me a cynic, but it sounds made up to me. Why would he wait three months to send this?

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  • I bet the guy looked like he was hit in the face with a bag of nickels.

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  • I'm all for constructive criticism, but this guy just seems shallow.

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  • Woooow. This guy is a dick. 😂

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  • Ridiculous

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  • Beyond rude

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  • He’s an asshole. Who is this guy?

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  • Wow such a fucking asshole.

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  • This is an act of kindness. Bless him

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  • SMH.

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  • That’s hilarious and horrible!

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  • This is the most ocd person I have ever seen

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  • Lol that's funny what a weirdo

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  • This is hilarious

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  • Wow.

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  • I have an opinion

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  • He broke rule 2 very easily by doing that.

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  • l don't like tinder its full of stds

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  • Lol it's kinda funny

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  • I wish someone would make me a list

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