Guys, is it a turn off if a girl has a lot of guys after her?

I have lots of guys chasing me usually but i have found it hard to find anyone to commit to. I'm not interested in most of the guys that would have me. And its frustrating because i am at a point in my life where i dont need a waiting list of guys who want to get at me, i just need/want one. But it is a turn off to a guy looking for a serious relationship if a girl has a lot of guys after her, even if she doesn't entertain the guys she is not interested in?

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What Guys Said 32

  • Its a huge turn off to me, I would not even bother talking to you in that way, especially if I don't know you well. Every time I saw you pick up your phone I'd assume its some guy your talking too. I don't think its about being turned off, I think its a situation of other guys on the outside getting the wrong idea.

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    • 6d

      Yeah that's true. A low key, under the radar girl is much more desirable. I wouldn't want her to get hit on 5 times a day when she goes outside. It would feel like the relationship is constantly being attacked.

      Some guys do like you getting attention for one of two reasons: their ego or pride feels boosted or they are stimulated by self degradation. Next they might went to watch you having sex with another guy in from of them lol.

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    • 6d

      @cavmanier last time i checked thats not what being courted means but i could be wrong. All im saying is the beginning part of getting to know someone and investing time just to have it all get broken off before anything gets serious is getting really old and i dont want that to happen with this guy. i just want to be in a relationship with him. At this point im just trying to pin point and eliminate anything in my power that could keep that from happening

    • 6d

      I'd be honest with him. This is how it is for many guys. Are you decent at math? Think about how many guys hit on you in a week or month. There are just as many girls in the world as guys and you are not the only one being talked to. Other girls get similar amounts of attention so for that to happen guys that talk to you also talk to them. If you average the amount of guys talking to you, he's probably talk to the same amount of other girls. Being honest isn't a bad thing. You women are so entitled now a days. Imagine if you had to make a move on a guy to get to know them. You have ez mode and you still want him to do it all.

  • It's a turn of if she's naive enough to to keep those guys around as friends since their motivation for the friendship is to have a chance with her one day. It's a toxic influence on a relationship.

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  • If I was interested enough, and she was giving me a reason to keep pursuing. I could deal with it for a while. But once we're serious, that nonsense better calm down significantly.

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  • Yes. On the premise that competition with other guys is exhausting.

    Personally though, I love women who are lowkey. The proverbial Velma Dinkley.

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  • No one likes competition. It’s hard enough to romance a girl without that compensating factor

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  • Definitely, I'd lose all interest if any, just not something I'd be looking forward to, so its better to not board a train that doesn't take you to your destination.

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  • Well it definitely isn't a turn on. It'd make me think
    1) that she's probably hooked up with at least a few of them
    2) that she wouldn't have any interest in me given all the selection she has, or
    3) that her standards are beyond my reach

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  • I'd say can be a turn off. It can be discouraging as a guy knowing your attention holds very little value with your crush because she gets so much of it from other men.

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  • What does 'chasing you' mean? I don't care if you get hit on a lot, that's normal for some girls. But 'chasing you' suggests you're stringing them along, or trying to keep them as orbiting friends.

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    • 6d

      I am always very clear and direct when letting someone know that i don't have any romantic interest in them. Of course if i see this person in public I will always be friendly and cordial because there is no reason to be weird or awkward. One guy jokingly commented that i have a waiting list of guys who are all waiting their turn to take me out and i wonder if that is how it is perceived

  • Well when I see someone with a lot of guys after her I simply refrain from getting myself into it, it just seems a lot of trouble.
    Not saying you'd be, I'm talking about the situation

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  • Sometimes depends on the guy for me no but would that girl even notice me if i texted her? Tho

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  • If there are too many guys after a girl I like, I just try to give up, because I know that there is a very small chance that she would “pick” me

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  • All guys will say yes

    But the real answer from science says it makes the person more actractive.

    Look up preselection for more information

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  • Yup it's turn off n unattractive. Bkoz cheap things always get crowded.

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  • Going after her no but if she is seeing most of the guys turnoff no turn n burn yes

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  • Not at all is it a turn off. I have dated those women. They were loyal - that I am aware of. :p

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  • Ofcourse not, it makes you feel so much better when you win her heart

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  • Kinda. At least you can tell the difference between the tools and dogs.

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  • It's annoying, and women who brag about it is like nails on a chalkboard.

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    • 6d

      what if i dont brag about it? Its not my fault i get attention from so many guys. So how would i navigate the situation so that guys who are genuinely interested aren't turned off?

  • I would say no, because each guy wants to see where he stands in your eyes, see if he can make it work with you where all the others fall short.

    I dated a girl whom had a lot of dudes chasing her, despite this I gave it a shot, flirted, persevered and we started dating.

    Also, for those guys you’re “uninterested” in, I would encourage you to give some of them a chance. You may find something that you absolutely adore in one of them that you wouldn’t have otherwise known if you didn’t take that step. Truthfully

    I’ve missed out on opportunities with relationships because I wouldn’t give the girl a shot. Then they go off and date someone else and you think to yourself “man I really missed out on something that could’ve been great”. You don’t have to do this but this is my take.

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  • Yes its a big turn off for a guy when she has lots of male friends who wants to hit on her. But it's on you how to manage this situation. For guys they will always want to be friends with you and try to get more out of it. That could damage your relationship with any guy and no guy would like that there are so many guys chasing his girl. Now it's on you if you want to let that chase happen. And it's on you if you choose to not let the chase start. For that you have to be very strict and dont even make any friendship with guys you don't want. No guy would call you or talk with you or be your friend without your consent right. So you have to choose to not give consent for such unnecessary males to be your friend or to talk with you or call you. Then it will be much cleaner when you are dating someone

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  • I really want to see the answer for this one. There is a girl who I like and she doesn't even know that. There are a lot of guys after her. Trust me I did not fall her for her beauty. Infact in the first year I found her a bit annoying and as a nuisance. But after knowing her and hearing out her stories over time I just found myself caring about her. I tried to run from these emotions but it seems that the more I try to run, the stronger the feelings get. If there is one thing I regret, its not getting to know her properly for the past 3 years

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  • No, it makes me step up my game.

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  • Well, it's not *her* fault...

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  • No, it makes her more a challenge.

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  • Nope, but it is if she sleeps with all of them.

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  • They all fucked with her.

    Answer: No

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  • Yes!!!

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  • It is. I don't want to ask a woman out if she has too many guys after her. Not getting involved in d**k measuring contest.

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  • Yes. Big turn off. She needs to already be showing me strong interest in contrast to other guys for me to stay interested. I’m not interested in being a random face in a crowd of suitors.

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