Hi everyone I’m desperate for some support and kind words right now, I am shaking so much?

Hi I’m not okay at all I’m honestly in a bit of a crisis right now. I started seeing my narc ex again after 2 years hoping he’d finally be there for me and comfort me about my pregnancy loss which he was NEVER there for me for. I then found out that last night he was with this girl who’s always liked him, sleeping with her in his flat 5 short days after I was at his. In the same bed. This girl was vile about me and when I lost my baby said some horrible stuff regarding it all. She’s always liked him and she is so spiteful, young and bitchy which makes it so much harder. He knows how upset I am that he was with her and he showed her my messages from earlier on today and now they’ve gone on a night out together drinking and laughing and uploading photos and videos. I’m shaking like a leaf. He’s got no remorse? 💔 they’re enjoying my pain. I feel absolutely traumatised and don’t know what to do with myself. Any advice or uplifting words of wisdom would be heavily appreciated, it’s good even from strangers on the internet. I’m on my own right now and really need it. Thank you if you read this far.

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  • Move on ftom this drama and find someone that wants to be with you.

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  • Put on this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_Tc5-DWz4g

    Now, as you are reading this, I want you to do a breathing exercise with me. Take 4 seconds to breath in; then hold for 4 seconds; and finally slowly breath out in 4 seconds.
    You probably feel at least a little more calm now.

    From the sound of it, you gave your ex another chance to be there for you. He wasn't there for you in the past, and you were hoping he bettered himself by now. As it turns out, he didn't. He actually got worse. What he did to you, is far from okay and downright horrible to be frank.
    I want to be very clear about one thing, and I really want you to realize this: You did nothing wrong.
    I will say it again, you did nothing wrong.

    With the shock and all random emotions going through you right now, it is difficult to think clearly. Sometimes people start to doubt themselves when someone else did something horrible to them. They end up thinking "if that person did something so horrible to me, I must have somehow deserved it.". This can't be further from the truth. Your ex did something horrible; there is nothing more to it.

    The silver lining here is that no doubt should remain about your ex. He clearly hasn't bettered himself, and what he did was irredeemable. I would suggest/recommend cutting him from your life.

    For now, it's a good idea to do or watch something you enjoy. Maybe your favorite movie or show, for example. Anything to give yourself something else to think about for now.

    I'll be here if you want to talk some more!

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  • stop and close your eyes... take deep breaths... calm your mind, keep breathing slowly... do that as long as you need...
    or cry cry as hard as you wish. cry your heart out...
    you did it for 2 years... go back and do it again and not get invlove with him its affecting you in a negative way...
    there is no magic solution about think about how you can help yourself by loving your self and loviong those who need love as well...
    wish you the best

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  • Sorry about your loss. You need to really believe what you know: you'll never get anything good from him. You need to find other supportive people. If you don't have anyone, check local meetups -- there may be a group for people recovering from relationships with addicts. Good luck.

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  • You need to put the past behind you and move on. Get those people out of your life and focus on your future.
    You don't give any details to circumstances around the pregnancy loss. Circumstances can be complicated.
    If he is really taking any joy from your pain, then he's not someone you want anything to do with. You've had an escape to get rid of him.

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  • I wrote out a response that was direct and to the point but erased it so I will be precise/concise here as you asked for "wisdom" about what you stated. The world is not only about you and you need to figure out how to be self sufficient in dealing with things that bother you rather than depending on others to lift you up.

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  • Be true to yourself. I'm sorry that you are having to go through this situation at this time. Call 1-800-A-FAMILY and get a referral to a counselor who can help talk this through with you. We will be praying for you. Take care.

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  • There are always going to be assholes out there, and while it may hurt right now, it'll be a good thing to distance yourself from this guy. It'll get better

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  • And then they come back from the date.. And there's a shootout! Then they elope through undying love! Just offering a couple ideas for your story :)

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  • You are the only reason for ur own mess... just stop n get the hell out from everything n start new life. Thats the only way dear.

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  • Sounds like you need to make sure he stays your ex...

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  • It will not sound nice...

    What did you expected out of him? That he will start thinking reasonable? He has his girlfriend now, for few years and you want him back?

    Even, if he talked to you it is only to get you in bed one more time, just to because he can. He does not care about you at all, not even little bit and you will not be able to anything with that!

    Just MOVE ON, he is not good enough for you!

    Go and see someone in church, if you have no one to talk at that bad moment, get some counseling or call one of those help lines, just Google, and keep their number close for future.

    You will be much better, without him! Just leave it to CARMA, she will get him.

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