Most Helpful Guys
I think the underlying issue that causes this it is very hard to understand another person. One can express words to convey thoughts, but one can’t give direct thoughts. The knowledge that people lie and the fact that language isn’t always perfect gives rise to misinterpretations or false hopes.
Alone, imperfect words may not be an issue. People still get the gist of things, after all. However, people with feelings also have a certain amount of what I call “crush bias.” More specifically, people who have feelings for another tend to manipulate events and words in order to try and paint a scenario where the other person is acting that way because the feelings are being returned. It’s a biased overanalying. The classic example is someone staring at another person and thinking that means something, but it can arise also from something like a platanic compliment like a friendly “oh haha you’re so cool.”
This all in turn melds together into a world of false hope— that our love is surely not unrequited and the dream is reality. Confirmation bias ignores the ugly possibility of being just friends or even acquaintances, because who wants to be rejected? It becomes very hard to let go of this world because of all the time spent creating it. Even if the person straight out rejects us, our brain still searches for a way that we don’t have to live with rejection. “Maybe if I preserve my feelings, she’ll change her mind eventually? Maybe she didn’t really mean what she said? Maybe she’s just waiting for me to do [X]?”
The thoughts creep into the back of our heads and until we rule out possibilities and declare once and for all that the person wasn’t just all that into ‘em. This takes time, and the time varies for each person.
At least, well, that’s my take on it.
People hang on to the hope that their partner will change. They rarely do and love makes you do crazy things.
Most Helpful Girls
Because you already have high hopes... Have dreams and wishes to be with that person and draw your future life with them... This is like a whole new 'created reality' ... So leaving one reality can be hard, often people don't even want to understand this is only in their dreams... Don't want to realise that person doesn't feel the same