What burning questions about love, dating and relationships do you have for Dating Expert, Coach T Anthony? LIVE EVENT see details below?

What questions do you have on love, dating or relationships?
What questions do you have on love, dating or relationships?
Dating expert, Coach T Anthony answers all your burning questions on Love, Dating and Relationships. Ask your questions below and the Coach will answer them LIVE on GAG Wednesday, April 17th, 2019 between 6 and 8pm EST.

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Twitter @coachTanthony

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  • What’s the difference between Hollywood and Real Life in 2019 in terms of physical contact on the first few dates?

    Romance novels, fairy tales, movies, and tv shows seem to follow a formula when 2 strangers meet and for the most part there is limited physical touch in the beginning. Even the shows that have a few dates usually end with a hug and/or awkward kiss on the cheek as the audience sees both people don’t quite know their feelings and more importantly don’t know the other person’s feelings yet. So if we want to follow that formula it would make sense to focus on fun and getting to know someone on the first 3 dates. They teach us that emotions build over time and even some movies use the word love before they even kiss.

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    • 3d

      However based on past experience because we are sexual creatures and can feel and spark and connection I have found that both myself and others can kiss and even beyond on the 1st date. I have also heard feedback that if as the guy he hasn’t initiated a kiss or other physical touch by the 3rd date that the woman feels like he isn’t attracted to her or he might even be gay. One of most frequent questions girls ask on GaG is how do they know a guy is attracted to them and that the interest is growing to match their own feelings.

      Now I completely understand there is fiction and there is reality, but many of us begin romantic stories with the fiction and then learn the reality. I also understand that confidence is sexy and woman can sense a man’s sexual energy in many ways from his eyes to his walk to how he carry’s himself overall. So that means it doesn’t take a kiss to communicate sexual desire on a date. Lastly as a gentleman there is a sense of respect we are taught and we never want to go too far physically and make her feel uncomfortable; #metoo and the like.

      So thank you for reading the background of my question. What advice would you give for guys on the first few dates regarding physical contact and do you see a trend one way or another. To be clear this is for dating long term with the intentions of marriage, not for one night stands or cheap sex and hookups. Should the man just go for it if he feels the sexual chemistry early on or like a hallmark movie should he be more reserved and allow the tension to build over time? Are words, notes, phone calls, texts, and other actions that communicate attraction enough to convince a woman you are into her and that you are just building a solid emotional connection before taking it to a physical level?

    • Show All
    • 19h

      I usually save my intentions for when we are together because the last thing I want is to come off strange or weird trying to communicate with technology. It backfires more often then not.

    • 19h

      Thanks, I agree face to face communication is the best form.

  • When is the right time to tell the guy about yourself? So many change their dislikes/likes when they hear yours. Likes I don't know if theyre being honest or just trying to be my "perfect match"

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    • 3d

      I tell as soon as possible, so I can know as soon as possible if we share the same values.

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    • 1d

      There is time.

    • 33min

      Don't tell them everything... you have to be a little mysterious with the information. And if they are just trying to be your perfect match you will know soon enough because fraud is very spottable.

  • How to overcome partner's sexual past?

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    • 3d

      THIS PLEASE

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    • 1d

      It's the past get over it

    • 22min

      Try not to think of it as overcoming and more of "there isn't anything they can do about it now so why am I so worried about it?"

      I mean you like the guy right? That may have come in part by having their attractiveness confirmed in the past. It may have also come from getting screwed over and healing which makes them into the mature partner that they have become. Remember this, if you like this person, it's every experience they've ever had that made them into the person you like.

  • What is the most common reason for breakups?

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    • 3d

      In my case these:
      - Her life is shit: takes drugs, hates world, works on something she truly hates.
      - She's overly rude and entitled: treats people badly, wants people only for sex, ignores people.
      - No ambition whatsoever: thinks she will stink forever, she is notoriously lazy.

    • 19h

      Well these days it could be anything from an argument to someone just wanting to move on. Back in the day there was nothing common about a break up.. they exhausted all possibilities before doing it. Today just isn't the case.

  • l know how to love and respect a girl and been there for the girl and talk about everything that's what matters in a loving friendship /relationship and been there for each other

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  • How can you tell if a guy friend has started to like you?

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    • 3d

      - He looks at you all the time.
      - He avoids contact with you.
      - He wants to talk with you for long.

    • 18h

      He will act differently around you and you will be like "what is wrong with you why you acting so weird" He will then stutter something that you don't recognize because he is now nervous and then the light bulb appears above? Hmmm maybe he is into me.

  • What can you do if you have a crush on a friend. She is someone who I relate to and feel confident around.

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    • 3d

      It's all in the kiss, and that's not a joke.

      After kissing you will know how she feels about it.

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    • 2h

      Right because you are DEPENDENT on an outcome. The problem is for most who are DEPENDENT on an outcome it never usually works out anyway because they just chicken out. So the outcome is the always the same. If you take the pressure off by not caring what happens then it's much easier.

    • 1h

      Okay I can try that

  • It's not exactly a question but why are both sexes so shallow nowadays? Both guys and girls have extremely high standards about what they're looking for in a partner, are cynical, selfish and self-entitled. Relationships have become like a trading market. Personality doesn't even matter anymore. Back in the past, in our grandparents' era it used to be about unconditional love
    Nowadays, everyone is so conformist and cynical

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    • 18h

      Times change. Our grandparents didn't have so many distractions to filter out. They took their time with their courtships. Today everything is 20 second video clips. We allow so much crap to distract us that we don't put the right amount of effort into anyone or anything. We move on quickly and always looking for better.

    • 9h

      Right
      I mean there are people that have such high dating standards that waste their whole lives, looking for someone that fulfills all their unrealistic requirements
      It's insane

  • Why does it seem like every other girl r
    I flirt, touch on or mess with not want to tell me they have a significant other/already in a relationship? Or even worse! They'll tell me but still want be super touchy and rub on me or let me rub on them, hang out, even hook up! It's been happening for about 4 years now (since I was about 17-18). I've stayed abstinent mostly (waiting for a girl with her head on straight). Would I be wrong to sleep with them or start an affair or something? It's getting lonely out here.

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    • 17h

      I don't know man sometimes these things take time. I am not your mother you do what you want to do. I am not the moral police.

  • Why if my crush and I like each other, he posts pictures with other girls in his Snapchat?

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  • How do one deal or get over attraction for someone who is unavaiable.

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    • 3d

      If they don't care about you, why you do so much?

    • 17h

      Well to be honest this won't be the last time this happens so you just need to deal man. Know that it will never work out and start paying attention to women who are available.

  • I am in a relationship for a year now, but we haven't have sex yet. I have HPV and i told him that when we met. He is afraid of the small possibility to get it even with a condom. He had sex with other women in the past but is afraid that i will give him HPV and he will get cancer. I have both high and low risk strains, i used to have warts but i succesfully removed them before i met him and they haven't reappeared for over a year now. He is afraid to touch me down there even with clothes on. I love him but i feel unwanted sexually and dirty every time i suggest to have sex and he refuses. Is splitting up the only road here?

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    • 3d

      Is his fear real?

    • 20h

      Thanks for the Q,

      He obviously has a fear or concern that he needs to deal with. He can't possibly think that you guys will have a long term relationship without ever having sex? You need to sit down with him and address this like an adult and then make an adult decision on what to do about it.

      Counseling might help but he has to be willing to address the issue either way. If he is not willing to do that then you need to do whats best for you. That is my 2 cents but I am not a doctor so I think this is best left up to the professionals. Good luck to you.

  • Why do women seem to use men in a relationship?

    In the sense that women look to get something out of a relationship with a guy and once they're done, or they feel that the guy is no longer interesting or beneficial, they're ready to move on to the next. And the fact that you're ready to move on to the next means you're looking to get something or some feeling out of the next guy.

    I'm not saying that guys never use women, because plenty have used a woman for sex, but I'm saying with women it seems different in the way they use people. Like they already expect to get something good or wonderful in it, and when they get it they're satisfied - or maybe satiated - or they become bored and need to move on to the next thing they can get a feeling out of.

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  • Are single people seen as a problem that need to be dealt with? It seems the second you become single everyone sees you as a problem that needs fixing. They'll instantly tell you of a good hook up club where you can get a man or they'll have a friend who've you've nothing in common with or find remotely attractive then look at you with confusion when you decline. Its like if your single your supposed to just grab any man because it's shameful to be single.

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    • 4d

      I too wonder this.

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    • 3d

      Are these people having a happy relationship themselves?

    • 20h

      Thank you for the Q,

      Funny answer is YES. Single people get discriminated against all the time. I can remember at my best friends wedding, his brother came up to me and rubbed my head as if I was 7 years old and said, " when you going to grow up and get married and have kids already?" I was 32 years old but for some reason he felt as if I was beneath him and that because I wasn't married... there was something wrong with me or I have not yet reached a mature stage in my life.

      My friend Stacy tells me when she gets with her girlfriends and they ask her if she has a boyfriend and her answer is no they all "sigh" in disbelief and start patronizing her saying "its okay it will happen one day" blah blah blah.

      Just because some people have standards and don't want to settle doesn't mean anything is wrong with them. Stay positive and stay away from the creepy cults of monogamy! They are everywhere. :+)-

  • Why do people do stuff they regret and how to avoid the wrong guy ( cheater, abuser, manipulator, sloth, gold digger)

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    • 4d

      Gold diggers? Are your projecting 😎😂

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    • 17h

      Everyone can have a chance encounter with the wrong guy. The most successful women though see the red flags early and eliminate him from their life before they can take hold. It's not that you are attracting the wrong guy... its when you do attract the wrong guy... you allow him to stay for too long because you ignore your gut and the red flags because he's cute or this or that. Facts.

    • 6h

      That's an interesting way to put it, makes sense though.

  • Dear @coatTanthony,

    When I was younger, and before I graduated from dental school, I was never attractive enough. I know that I'm not physically attractive to most women, and when I was a college student, and when I was a recent college grad juggling 4 different part time jobs to get by, my luck with dating and relationships wasn't very good.

    Now that I am a dentist (i. e. a professional who got his life together, and is doing well financially), I noticed that I'm far more desirable to women. Whenever I go on a dating app, I now get matched all the time, and my profile gets a ton of likes from potential dates.

    I sometimes worry about who I am attracting because I've never experienced this kind of positive attention in the past. I'm very careful about who I involve myself with.

    For example: I am most likely to swipe left on the following profiles:
    - Every picture is in a club holding a drink
    - Every picture has these "filters" (cat, dog, flowers... etc.)
    - Those who are honest about their personality, and it's a type I've had a very negative experience with: "I'm a princess...", "I'm really sarcastic...", "My goal in life is to smash the patriarchy!"

    Do you have any advice on how to deal with this kind of change?
    It's a little overwhelming sometimes. I went from the occasional match or like, to an average of 2 likes per day, and a match every couple of days. For me, that's a lot, because in the past all I got was a "like" every now and then, and a match once in a blue moon.

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    • 4d

      Overwhelming? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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    • 3d

      Dating quality candidates on a dating app is harder. When you have someone in front of you in real life you can tell right away how they are like, and you don't have to go through the lengthy dating app process for that!

    • 15min

      All you can do is vett the women you are dating. You can't blame women for wanting to date someone who is successful. Just because you are successful doesn't mean you should outright show it in the beginning. Still go on coffee dates and picnics and low cost dates to see how they react. If they are okay with it and want to get to know you then you are good to go. If they mention fancy restaurants or trips to places that cost money then you know whats up. It's all about just being careful and having some fun. Don't worry about it so much that you can't seem to enjoy yourself... that would suck!

  • Heck yeah, let me get my list of questions ready for you sir!

    You know I'm going to give you some challenging ones...

    •Looking at the dating scene, along with sexual culture now (one night stands, hookups, fwbs) you think it's worth it for people seeking a monogamous relationship to even bother looking for a relationship?
    •What advice would you give someone that's pretty much given up on love and trying to find a relationship?
    •What advice would you give to women about what we should know about men (can be anything in general you think would be useful)
    •Why is it so difficult for some people to say they've lost interest in you or no longer want to date you?
    By that I mean a person guys from talking to you daily and wanting a relationship with you, to talking to you less and less, making up excuses as to why things won't work out, or ghosting you... rather than just saying s/he doesn't want to be with you.
    •In your opinion, is it easier to be single or in a relationship, and why? Assume both parties are happy with their relationship status.

    If I think of more questions, I'll add a comment

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    • 3d

      Is it easy to get a monogamous relationship with you?

    • 20h

      Hey wassup? Thanks for the questions,

      1. (one night stands, hookups, fwbs) have been around forever and they aren't going anywhere anytime soon. So if you want a monogamist relationship then I say go get one. Will there be hurdles and obstacles? YES but in the end it will be worth it.

      2. I would ask why they have given up on love? Everybody can have a bad date but the most successful daters are the ones who cut off the people in the beginning who show red flags instead of ignoring them and blaming the cosmos that they attract the wrong people. You don't attract the wrong people, you allow the wrong people to stay too long.

      3. The advice I would give to women about men: In general I will give you one. Sometimes Men like to be alone and it has nothing to do with you. So don't make it about you and don't be jealous or concerned.

      continued below...

    • 20h

      4. Everybody asks why can't people just be honest instead of ghosting someone? I will tell you why it's because people act crazy when they do. I could write a book on this subject. . People don't just reply with okay well thanks for being honest and good luck to you. That isn't reality. Ghosting became a thing because people after only a few dates would go absolutely nuts on the person saying "why did you waste my time then" I can't believe this you are such an A-hole." " I went out of my way to meet you and this is what I get"?

      It's called dating... takes time to get to know someone and that is the sacrifice. Today though people feel as if their time has been utterly wasted and they only went on 2 dates with the person. So now people just ghost. If people really got a cordial reply there wouldn't be any ghosting.

      5. In my opinion it's much easier to be single straight up. Relationships weren't mean to be easy though. I don't know any relationship that is easy. If you want an easy relationship I would suggest to them they just stay single. I will end with this great quote:

      "When you're single, all you see are happy couples. When you're taken, all you see are happy singles."

  • Women love money or men or men, who have money?

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    • 13min

      Some women love men who have money. That will always be the case but it doesn't apply to all women.

  • If you look at the current dating market, do you think it has more quality now or 20-25 years ago?

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    • 3d

      Are you more quality than people 25 years ago?

    • 12min

      Quality is in the eye of the beholder. There certainly is more access today then there was 25 years ago for sure. That might dilute the pool since you can now see the entire pool. Back then we took our courtships more seriously then we do today. Buffet style dating is here and it's not going anywhere anytime soon.

  • None I am philosophical lol

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  • Sorry I missed ya! Hope you all had a good time. :)

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  • I'm gucci, ty

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  • I also have none..

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  • Would a guy respond to text messages if he’s not interested and why would he try to make me jealous? I have to work with him &. Stopped talking to him because he wasn’t taking things seriously

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    • 1d

      Some people takes it as it comes. if you have what is needed it will become you two, many times do the female need to go the extra mile to make it happen in that kind of situation to trigger the right kind of feelings that you are what he is after. (make him see you in the right light)

  • I have none for “expert”

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  • I am in a Long distance relationship with who is definitely my soulmate or dont know how explain but we are very similar and beyond happy when we talk.
    We have beautiful plans but he has ADHD and he's still in a toxic relationship of 27 years, he wants to move from where he is and be together with me since there's nothing for him where he is, not affection, no peace, no space.
    The problem is despite he's still with someone non compatible, that person is a narcissist forcing him to stay in the relationship.
    He is very fearful to leave even knowing that it's the best choice to his happiness. His ADHD makes him have a big insecurity, being wishy washy, example: one day we plan beautiful projects like being together, next day his fears and stress to face change and big steps (divorce, moving to my city far away) fearing to do all that, even wanting to do that, stops him from doing that and he starts acting like he doesn't want to know or do anything about me, blocking me, telling me sad things, saying there's no future for us, etc.
    He realizes then that he has feelings for me and his life is not good where he is, and as he said: he's lonely and doesn't have affection.
    He talks to me again, all is well until he "crash" again.
    How can I make him understand that he must leave a relationship with a narcissist, that he has to stop blocking me when his ADHD overwhelms him to take next steps and how can I make him contact me again?
    He blocked me today clear blue sky after we shared a nice afternoon yesterday when I showed him my art. We were making nice plans. Few hours later for NO reason he blocked me.
    I Won't dump him if you suggest it. I love him. There's must be a way to improve a long distance relationship with an ADHD married man fearful, who aknowledge that he is in an unhealthy marriage talken for granted and I'm the opposite to that.
    Thanks in advance for the advice.

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    • 1d

      Long distance relationship rarely works with a ADHD individual even if they can become the most fateful person you ever stumbled in to.
      They get harsh ideas with harsh actions based on that with in a moment, for instance what he did with blocking you, it could have been you that triggered it as much as something on his end.

      If you don't know how to handle someone that has ADHD or ADD don't go in to a relationship that is more than a friend with benefits. they have problems with making a working relationship with someone that can't handle them and they have self destructive behavior, live for dopamine and adrenaline kicks, most of them have some sort of addiction, most of the times multiple ones. they are like old dogs or like donkeys.

  • Oh, the mysterious thing called love. Nobody can harness it.

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  • Whats the best way to get the attractive girls i encounter on a daily to let me masterbate and facefuck my way to éjaculating in their open jaw?

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  • My mommy said babies are made when two adults who love each other did something. How come people who fuck with no love get babies. That's my question about love. Answer that.

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  • for my question i would need a private message conversation, you can reply if you like and i'll send you a DM would be very helpfull since i'm bad at judging this stuff.

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    • 2d

      fuck it here it is since you're doing it live:
      so i met my cousin's best friend and we hit off pretty good, we chilled 3 days in a row talk everyday we can have fun talks deep talks, we even went to an ice cream shop just the 2 of us and it seemed more like a date, previously she'd paid my drink so i paid her ice cream, i picked her random shit same turned around, we had fun and all that stuff kept on talking everyday,
      and Saturday she needed to come to my city and she didn't know the way so i led her to the castle where she needed to be, we chilled there for a bit and after all that when i had to go pick her up again to show her the way back she wanted to sit there at the bridge a bit, because i initially thought she wanted to leave immediately so i sat down with her on the bridge but i was too much of a shite pussy to just put my arm around her so we just sat there talking a bit, making fun off the goose, so today i thought fuck it, i'm buying cotton candy since a week aho she said she wanted that really badly so i thought fuck it, i'm giving her cotton candy, ended up buying 4 buckets of it and gave her 2, i was initially gonna give it at her internship but she didn't want me to drive so far to her hometown just to give her cotton candy, it was a bit awkward and my intentions were to just fess the shit up and see what she does with it, but it was a bit too awkward for me.
      so a little backstory, she's really sweet and kinda shy, not too shy just a bit though, but she had never even kissed a guy up until a few months back, the dude ended up fucking off because she didn't want sex before getting into a relationship, but my cousin ended up asking her what she thought about me 2 weeks back, she said back then: he's chill and nice but as of right now i think of him as a friend (her litteral words) and half a week back my cousin ended up asking her if she was searching for a relationship she said she wasn't searching.
      what should i do / odds that she likes me?

  • I think the Magic 8 Ball has always given me good advice. So...

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  • Haha funny

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  • How will you answer live?

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  • No thanks I'm good.

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  • What makes you a dating coach?

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  • hm wow i’ll checj that out for sure

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  • Anyone that has to call themselves an 'expert' is suspect. ;)

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  • Why did i cringe so hard

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  • None

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  • Sending dick pics to women to work because they are more open to sex these days. Plus it skips straight to the point so men can skip the fake courtship, expensive dinners, and movies dates and go this route for a root. This saves time and women these days expect it.

    It's mostly introverted white knights who are against this because they are small or scared of rejection. Instead of treating this like a game that women like to play, they will pretend it's rude and usually get really jealous about it

    So all men should send dick pics within a few minutes because that's the first step of courtship now.

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    • 3d

      people like you are the reason why women think men are all primal beings who only want sex.

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    • 3d

      @es20490446e Since when did we start discussing math and science?

    • 3d

      @CoffeeWC I mean the mind is so useful people commonly use it for things it isn't good at.

      Having romance is purely visceral, it should be handled in a different manner than planning or analyzing.

  • Why do white Girls love black guys so much?

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  • Why are so many marriages ending in divorce nowadays?

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  • If you are a relationship expert, why are you still dating at age 48 and not happily married?

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    • 3d

      You can still give good advice no matter if one fails or not. I imagine he had/has time to reflect on past mistakes.

      Like parents.
      My father has messed up some in his life but he always gives me great advice. Both my parents do.

    • 2d

      @phanta That is like saying a cancer patient would only want to get treated by a doctor who also had cancer. LMAO

  • How do I communicate more effectively in a relationship?

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