Mixed signals after meeting up. Is he just being polite?

Hi guys,

I could use some advice on how to read this little situation.

I met a guy on an app like tinder but that’s work-related. It’s about creating a network and opportunities... Anyways, we talked by text for a few days. I realized I might get attached to a virtual thing and slowed it down, I was scared... He gave me his number and wanted to meet, eventually I gave in.

We never said if it was a date or a work thing, just « to meet each other ».

So coffee happened, we payed for our own drinks and talked for two hours. I was a bit bored sometimes but definitely enjoyed his company. I told him I had to leave early cause I had stuff to buy for work on the next day.

Usually the guys I meet offer to pay for me. He didn’t, I figured he was not attracted to me. I didn’t mind him not paying, in fact I prefer it to be like that because then I don’t feel like owing the guy anything.. I was just trying to know how to read things given the undefined context. And he wasn’t tactile, just a lot talkative about work related things.. So I figured there wouldn’t be anything after this coffee thing but when i told him I had to leave, he said he would walk me to my tube station and then go home (he’s been in my city for two months only and doesn’t know it very well yet). I missed my tube to buy a ticket and yet he waited... Conclusion: he’s very polite!

I went home and three hours later, he texted that: « I was happy to meet you and I really enjoyed talking to you! See you soon! »

I didn’t know if he was being polite. The text seemed so and there was no opening in it ( whereas we were texting more before we met) ... So i replied : « aww it’s sweet, thanks :) it was a pleasure to chat, I also had a nice time! I hope you had no trouble finding your way home. See you :) » - No reply after that -

Question: do you think he only texted me out of politeness? Because there’s no room for an opening in his text.. I just wanna be set and move on if so.

Thanks

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  • Do you have any business ntworking reason to see him again?

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  • Ugh, there are several factors at play here.
    1. Why even after you offered, didn't he say "No thanks, I got you".
    2. Why are you chasing him? If he was into you it would be the other way around. Also, I would probably bring up the fact he didn't see you as a romantic interest because if he did, he would have paid. I split my bills with my friends and co-workers, not romantic partners. Especially not on the first or second date. Either he's broke AF or he just doesn't see you as a love interest.
    3. I've been ghosted after a first date and I've found out from men. They would rather avoid confrontation altogether. I was told the reason I was ghosted was because I wanted a relationship and they just wanted to hookup. So the fact he is texting you is fine, but I wouldn't read into it.
    4. He could be scorned from having to pay for so many other dates.
    there's a lot of factors at play here. I would just look at the facts and the actions he portrays. Also, he maybe keeping you in his back pocket incase another option doesn't work out. I would probably do the same.

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  • I wouldn't say he's completely turned off by you but he doesn't sound into you. For better clarity think back to your meet up. Did he flirt? Did he complement you? Did he ask about you? If all of the above are no then he's just not into you. Best of luck!

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    • 3d

      Well nope but he talked a loooot about work at first because I wanted to learn more about something... So I didn’t know if it was him trying to « give » as much as he could on the field... But he looked like he could’ve easily stayed one more hour to chat, I’m the one who made it short cause I had stuff to do... And then he wanted to talk me to the tube, which I didn’t expect since his way home was in the opposite direction... Or maybe he just wanted to see more of the city 😂 we both kinda « validated » each other’s profile... He asked based on what I decided to match him and he said why he also clicked on me...

    • 2d

      He doesn't sound into you... I wouldn't say that you stand no chance but right now he's not actively trying to pursue you. If you'd like to be more that co-workers or whatever you are, then open the door for something more to grow.

  • Hard to say only time will tell. It's a good sign he texted you. Maybe he didn't offer tonoay cause you met on a work app... dont look too deeply into things. Let it go if he comes back you'll know then.

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  • It way better to ask.

    When you come at him just be extremely nice about it. word it in a way well it can only be just a direct answers. And like there no obligations of any sort.

    Personally if you guys work together I would just abandon ship and move on with out too much thought.

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  • I don’t think he meant this as a romantic meet up... just the opportunity to network and meet people in a city he’s new to. Even where you’ve met him doesn’t indicate romantic interest

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    • 3d

      I chose the place, I decided on a simple coffee cause I had no idea of what to expect... Yeah but then if he’s not interested, there’s a lot of common grounds to be friends... I was thinking there’d be no follow up after the drinks but then he texted and made me confused...

  • He likes you but is to afraid to show it. A real guy would make sure you know he likes you by being more flirty and trying to kiss you at some point. This would avoid gags most popular question from girls.

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  • He didn't pay so even if he interested what kind of guy is that? You don't want that.

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    • 3d

      Personally i don’t mind him not paying, I like being independent, providing for myself and not relying on people so...

  • You need to personally ask him. We are not him and it's not other people you are dating or trying to see. You need to communicate with him exactly what it is that you are looking for. Other than that he's being polite. And there was nothing wrong with being polite I honestly don't understand what is wrong with you people confusing like with being polite. If he likes you and is polite be happy. It wasn't ending conversation so there is nothing much to talk about after that. If you're interested in seeing him again then you need to communicate that. if you're not interested in you also need to communicate that. Talk to this guy instead of looking for other people to tell you how he thinks. We are not him we cannot tell you what he is thinking.

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  • The no reply and no further contact would be your answer.

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  • He is a polite dude.

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  • This is way too long lol

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