Date or no date... what would you do?

I am really curious about what others would do in this situation. I'd appreciate your feedback.

My dear friend Amy told me about this guy she's crazy about. She said he seemed interested but hasn't asked her out... yet.

Well, Amy & I were at a dinner party & He showed up. Long story short: despite my efforts to politely avoid him, he seemed to always be sparking up a conversation with me. He wasn't rude about it, but he wasn't shy about letting me know he wanted to get to know me. I tried not to laugh at his jokes & avoided eye contact... it wasn't easy. Amy wasn't exaggerating when she said he's hot as hell, witty, & congenial, etc. He is no dummy either so he saw right through me.

Amy commented to me, “Don't be an idiot. Stop running away from him.” But I knew she was bummed. So, later when he asked me out, I got his number & said I'd call him. :/

Amy talked to him at the party & he told her he thinks she's really cool but he has been wanting to meet someone like me for a long time. She told me I should go out with him. uh...

If you were the guy would you have gone about this a different way?

What would you do if you were me?

Poll: Date or No Date?

  • Date
    Vote A
  • No date
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Thank you so much for your responses!

Well, I called him & said I'm afraid of jeopardizing my friendship with Amy. He asked me to call him as soon as I feel better so we can go out... LOL


Most Helpful Guy

  • i'll second what doe said below, dateing a friend's crush is usually bad news... I'd send him a text saying look, er really nice, but I can't go anywhere with this, she was interested in you first and that puts you out-of-bounds (feel free to paraphrase)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • I voted date and let me tell ya why.

    The guy chose who he wanted to go out with. He wasn't feelin Amy but was liking you instead. Sure she is bummed out about it but that is part of the dating game. Besides she told you that you should go out with him because she knows she lost and has to try again. Yea, it is easy to feel bad for her, but she is actually supporting you right now.

    Now say if you decided that you didn't want to date him because he didn't chose Amy instead. It would be a lose lose situation because you would have said no, he didn't like Amy, meaning no options...therefore as a result, he would find another girl. I hope that helps.

  • You already know the obvious answer but Amy isn't going to like that.

    "In love and war everything is permited"

    OR NOT ?

  • I think he's been honest from the get go. I read you profile, so perhaps he saw all that too. You should definitely date him, if you haven't already. Best of luck :)

  • how is the dating with him going?


What Girls Said 2

  • No date! Your friend will resent you, and it may make things complicated between you. Friends come first!

    • But isn't Amy going to feel worse that way? I'm trying to put myself in Amy's shoes. I don't think that I would resent my friend. But that's just me.

    • My first thought when I read Doe's response was, "Yeah, forget him!" I am way loyal to my girlfriends. And now after kicking it around & reading other comments I am beginning to wonder if I am just selling out. Amy is gorgeous and brilliant. It's not like she won't meet someone else. It's no rush. But he did call me today :/ -pounding my head against the wall-

  • I don't think that the guy did anything wrong. He can't help that he's not into Amy and he likes you instead.

    I actually think it's okay for you to go out with him. Yes Amy's bound to be bummed. Who wouldn't be? But she's clearly your friend and she doesn't want to hold you back from a good guy. Amy sounds like she's a great girlfriend, so just be good to her. I'm sure you are.

    By the way, if you were Amy and she was you, how would you want Amy to proceed in this situation? Also, does this kind of thing happen frequently between the two of you? When she likes a guy, but the guy likes you instead? If it happens regularly, then my answer will likely change.

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