I met this guy online?

We've really seemed to click.. I've only been talking to him for a month...but he suggested I move in with him. We haven't met yet. And, he won't date me (he lives far away..he hates long distance) unless I'm there.. I asked him if he would still want me to live with him if he didn't find me attractive in person..and he said it would be fine with him.. He only has a one bedroom apartment, and I said, "you probably wouldn't want me to sleep in your bed with you if you thought I was ugly, would you? lol" He said it would be fine..he just wouldn't "sleep" with me. He wants me to make my mind up tomorrow so he can order my ticket and mail it to me... If I don't live there...he doesn't even want to continue being friends because "I can't be friends with someone that I like as more than a friend.." I know this sounds stupid..and you're probably thinking "this is common sense, bitch!"...buuuut...what if this could be a good thing? I mean...carpe diem..right?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Carpe diem? Eh... not necessarily. You've known each other for a month, only through talking online, and you haven't met yet. As harsh as it seems, I think you're better off leaving this one go, honestly.

    The entire point of going out on dates and being together and hanging out together in the first place, without even the label of boyfriend and girlfriend, is to get to know the other person more intimately and personally. Online relationships are a lot more difficult to deal with because they lack all the personal, face-to-face contact. I've been in your shoes (sorta) before. And I did go to visit her after talking for about 3 or 4 months, but that's all it was, a visit. We cared a lot for each other online, but we wanted to see if we felt the same way in person, but I certainly wasn't moving in with her.

    Moving in with him before even knowing how he is in person and actually seeing if you click just as well in person is just a really bad idea. A visit would be a better idea, but I don't think he'd go for it. You don't need to rush things. A lot of times if you rush things you make huge mistakes because you don't think of the consequences and risks involved. If he doesn't want to talk to you because you won't move in with him after ONE MONTH, then I think it's time to move on. Better to be safe with your heart and emotions intact than really, terribly, truly sorry and filled with regret.

    • I'm starting to think that I am..The carpe diem thing just makes me feel better about being impulsive.. lol.

      Yeah... I wanted him to meet my family and come see me..but..he said it was too expensive to go here and come back. :C Yeah, all the online relationships I have been in suck. I just live in a tiny town..and meeting a guy that isn't related, married, or old is hard to come by.

      I've already taken a ton of risks with him.. I don't even know why.. lol. I've already had a number done on my <3

    • That's understandable, but there are times when being impulsive is the farthest thing away from keeping yourself and your heart safe there is. In this case keeping yourself safe means NOT taking risks like this one. You're still young, there will be more opportunities to live your life the way you want to, you just have to choose right :)

    • Lol.. I don't think my heart will ever be safe. Hopefully I'll get more opportunities.. lol. =\

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What Guys Said 1

  • wtf. you have to be stupid to even consider that. you haven't even met the dude yet and he wants you to move in. moving in with someone is a serious step that should take months/sometimes years to decide AFTER meeting them in person. do me a favor and block the dude right now before something bad happens to you.

    • Yeahhh...I feel pretty stupid.. I guess it just seemed like a great way to escape and start a new life somewhere else.. I really liked him from what I knew...but..he's just been rushing me.. Thank you for your opinion/advice though..even though you called me stupid..XP lol

    • lol I had to be mean to get my point across. seriously this guy is being a douche and trying to control you already and you haven't even met him yet! you always see people's worst side once you live with them.

    • I understand. Yeah...I know that when I talk to him later..he'll tell me we can't be friends..which hurts..but you know.. Sometimes I wonder if I just attract bad people..or bring out the worst in people. lol.. It sucks.

What Girls Said 1

  • You should not be given an ultimatum either you drop everything and come running or he won't even be your friend. It shows how he is in a relationship. His way or the highway...What would you do if he said that once you moved everything there?

    • Yeah, that's kinda how I felt about the situation.. I'm not sure what I would do..fly home I guess? lol. I guess I was just so desperate to meet him and for things to go smoothly, that I stopped thinking clearly..

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