How proactive are women in finding a dating online?

This is a question for women of all age groups who use online dating sites.

How proactive are you when it comes to searching for a date?

I'm a member of a large free dating site and decided to make a fake female account to see who/what I was up against. I found a few pictures of a woman about the same level of attractiveness as myself and was amazed at the amount of profile hit & messages I received daily where as I was getting 2 profile hits per day and 1 message a week overall. So to rephrase my question better...

Ladys, do you actively seek a date on a dating site or do you just hit back and let the messages come in.


Most Helpful Girl

  • i've made a couple online accounts,

    one of them was mostly to meet new people,

    i was in a new place for the summer &

    just out of boredom & friend suggestion I made one

    for my permanent town.

    i sent maybe five messages, but had received a lot of them.

    i didn't really send messages, but I would creep on the people that

    messaged me.

    a majourity of women want to find a guy, mr.right to be more specific,

    but honestly.. a lot of them don't think they'll find them online.

    because 'their' mr.right wouldn't be searching online.

    it's a catch 22, & when someone write & there's actual interest,

    we're incredibly [i'm not saying this to cover my preferences] picky,

    we like him, but we hate xxxxx, then we move on.

    bitches be crazy.

    but, no.

    women don't really seek out the males.

    • Thanks for your answer Miss Anon. I think it's a shame women feel their Mr Right won't use a dating site especially since it's getting more socially acceptable.

      I also think women would have more success in finding a date if they messaged the guys they liked since I imagine the "top dogs" do not spend to long on the site so they might not get around to seeing her profile.

    • Show All
    • i guess it's where it's socially acceptable,

      but females aren't really willing to make it acceptable for THEM.

      it's like..

      cellulite: a high 90% of women have it,

      & when women compare themselves, the girl next to them

      has it, which is fine,

      but when seeing their own flaws,

      it's far from acceptable.

      okay that comparison might be sh*t,

      good attempt?

    • Best Answer, this gave me some good insight.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 4

  • I do not think that women are really that proactive in finding "Mr. Right" as they say they do. Sure there are a lot lot of women looking for men, but they have no idea what a real man is like either. A lot of guys do an experiment like you did because they want to see the types of girls that responded. We'll make a fake profile with some male model that is very photogenic (like me lol) and type anything into the profile and girls come flocking to the profile in droves. In reality, a lot of women on dating sites make themselves out to be shallow when they do that. The saddest thing about online dating, particularly on free dating websites like and is that women only look for the top 1% - 10% of guys on the social chain. You know, the ones that have the looks like a superstar or some rapper. The average guys, are always overlooked because, well, were normal...we do normal things, we make mistakes, we are human.

    On free websites such as average guy without sending any messages will only receive about 6 messages a year. If he does send messages, the chances of getting messages will increase by about 10 - 25%. For women on the other hand, they get about 10x the messages than what guys get...and they have no idea if a guy is real or not. They think they are just being "spammed" and only being asked for sex online. Because of them getting messages so easily, they most of the time sit back and just watch the letters stack up. The odds get better on websites where everybody has to pay though (yahoo personals,, eharmony, etc.) because now these girls got something to lose, which is money. And when money gets involved before making contact with potential mates, they get more serious about finding a man. Of course most women under the age of 27 do not pay no matter what.

    Personally if I was someone very popular that had some influence in the media, I would tell all guys to stop online dating. Period. It will force these girls to be more proactive and begin to seek out real men instead of choosing who looks the best in the vast amounts of emails they get, and complain on website like asking "Why aren't there any real men?"

    My answer was long and winded but I hope it helps you out a bit.

  • You are the reason why online dating can never be taken seriously. Of course people aren't going to put work into getting to know someone because it might be a "FAKE PROFILE".

    • Oh don't over react. I created the account and ran it for a week before deleting it, I didn't contact and no harm was done. I have few friends online dating has worked for and it's worked fine for me in the past.

      I'm sorry you've had a bad time dating or you've been unable to find Miss Right but I'm 100% sure it wasn't down to a fake account.

      Anyway... Back on topic...

    • Wow, that assumption sounds like emotional displacement to me =P. And if you've found miss right "in the past" then why still have the account? Lol I'm just saying. No harm though I hope =D

  • I made a fake female profile of a very hot (but realistic) blond on a dating site and got 53 messages , 326 profile views, 2 phone numbers, and a marriage proposal within 24 hours, most were incredibly creepy and one started stalking the fake profile and I decided to close it. Based on this I'd imagine most women just let the guys come to them on those dating sites. I also recommend to not bother with online dating unless you like a lot of frustration

  • Shut up kid he was just experimenting.


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