Why are "nice guys" seen as boring?

Why are "nice guys" seen as boring? And I suppose by "nice" I mean the genuine guys, not the scheming guys who think being kind should earn them sex or a date/partner, or some other favour. First off, what is your definition of nice guy, and why might he be boring if he is? [Sad] pic possibly related (though I see a real "nice guy" as actually just a decent human being). There are many articles about this online but the community's opinion probably counts more.Why are

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Most Helpful Girls

  • No offense to the OP, but this entire point is so lame and people misunderstand it so badly and its mostly guys who are mad girls won't date them that keep using this stupid "muh nice guy" excuse to hate on women. And i'll prove how stupid this point is with 3 word;
    Chill
    Alright
    Cool
    ALL 3 of these words are basically slang for "nice guys" and girls like guys who are chill, alright and cool and chill, cool, alright guys are usually not boring. This whole "muh nice guy" shit is guys who are boring and lame trying to fall back on their lack or risk taking, their lack of self-esteem, their lack of ambition for being a nice guy. There's a lot of homeless people who are nice, why don't you hang out with them? Hey, would you date an overweight girl who desperately wants a man? No? Guess what dummy, YOU'RE NOT A NICE GUY THEN! BOOM, be quiet with your "buy girls only like bad boys who are fun and interesting" because only insecure girls who come from bad families fall for serial killers and gangsters same as chubby chaser men. Those are a minority of girls. Generally women love nice guys / chill guys who don't start drama or aren't emotional nor complain like we do.

    Sick of this subject man, its so lame bro. People DON'T see nice guys as boring, you're just making it seem like that because the people who go on about how nice guys get the short end of the stick are boring people.

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    • 15 d ago

      No offense taken. Actually saw this comment elsewhere and was curious as to why people seem to subscribe to this way of thinking. in my opinion, people should just be who they are and leave it as that instead of worry about labels, being rejected and dwelling on why, etc. If you're a decent person, nothing else matters. Some will accept, some will reject, whether you're an asshole to others or a boyscout/girlscout.

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    • 14 d ago

      I dated an overweight girl. She was working on it but at the time hit a plateau. I didn't care and committed. But she was the one with commitment issues.

    • 10 d ago

      I don't get it.

      How does having standards regarding physical appearance mean you're not nice?

  • You can't assume "nice guys" are all the same (in physicality, height etc.). A nice guy is an individual with a (subjective) pleasant personality. That's it. They can be attractive or unattractive. This is the issue that I think many women have.

    Many of us want nice guys. We want them to be attractive too. There is nothing wrong with that. It's similar to how men want an attractive woman with a personality that he likes.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • LOL... Well, the way I understand it. There seems to have two definition of nice guys.

    #1: The nice guy that is a lame, doesn't care to do anything daring which often times is fun, doesn't have a back bone and is fervent in PC lest he offends which translates to boring personality.

    #2: This nice guy treats people with respect, likes to socialize and is endearing to lots of people because he has charisma and has a little bit of date devil in Him which translates to fun and isn't scared to be himself.

    Let's face it the 1st guy I described is a boring type of dude.

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  • Because a good chunk of niceguys lack a spine to have any edges in their personality. They jsut try hard to appeas to everyone rather than having principles and standing their ground. Their are wusses.

    If you have principles, stand your gorund and stick up to yourself, you WILL have instances where you aren't nice. Sometimes you need tob e confrontational and disagreeable or else you are just a doormat.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Its not nice guys that are boring - its the nice guys who are nice out of fear of man and mental passiveness and not out of a desire to be respectful and kind to others. If a guy is nice but nice because he cares and respects others and not because he is afraid of getting into trouble for being mean - he will be very attractive to woman.

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  • Nice has become Agreeable
    No woman wants an agreeable guy. Women hate men they can easily control, or see as controllable. So if you are pragmatic and agreeable its a turn off.

    Women want a leader, they want to be controlled. They just want a strong man to do the controlling not a nice guy.

    So in a sense, nice guys are boring, because they dont create any conflict.

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  • nice=kind , it isn't something to be worried about , unless that's the only thing that a man is being viewed as. What i mean is a man has to work on himself , set boundaries and assert himself but that doesn't mean acting like a "d**" Like many men think they should.

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    • 14 d ago

      Why not give a real life example to demonstrate your point?

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    • 13 d ago

      @Kaazsz That's great ! send it to me so i can read it too.

      Well yeah , u right. although i believe i have a reasonable definition of "easily manipulated" or at least we can agree on some points :p

      what do you think "easy manipulated" means?

    • 13 d ago

      I have no idea what it means lol. I don’t know if I’ve been manipulated. I certainly haven’t done any manipulation. I haven’t seen it in real life. Maybe I read about it in books. I read a story about a teenage girl who was groomed to be a prostitute. He dated the girl from age 13, he was like 25 abusing his age over her. Made her believe he loved her for like 8 years straight until one day she realized she was sucking mad dicks and fucking mad guys and didn’t know how the hell she got to that point. That may sound crazy but when you read the story it’s perfectly logical. That’s the only manipulation I know lol.

  • Why "nothing special" guys are "nothing special"? Maybe because there's nothing special in that? Like born, grown, old, dead? No black jack and hoes in the middle?

    Why is that sh1t ever asked? Everyone wants Moar free credit for the "shy", "nice", "good", "normal", "caring", "loving", "sensitive" human waste.

    U get nothing b'coz u expect it for free, dum assez!!!

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  • Let's put it simple. Would you date a cop or a criminal, a prison guard or an inmate, a soldier or a terrorist? All examples of good guy v badboy types

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    • 15 d ago

      Oddly, from what I've seen... it'd even more complicated than that. But for some reason, I've noticed people judge others on face value... something I've come to appreciate not doing.

  • It does injustice for you to deem niceness are your greatest quality. Most people are nice to certain degrees, so just being nice doesn't make you special. This is why I don't have the best view on "nice" people. You are more than just nice for sure! And if you aren't, then that's kinda sad.

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  • Nice Guys have a kind soul, are caring towards their girlfriend and would never cheat. I love nice guys. I can't stand Drama Queens, Machos or "Alphas". He is not boring at all gives a lot of effort in the relationship and always make sure that I cum when we have sex.

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  • I don't like 'nice guys', because they're so selfless. It feels like he is my servant, it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I prefer a guy who makes clear what he wants and who doesn't neglect himself in the process of treating me well. I like the excitement and I like challenges. I like quality men.

    That being said, I would never date the trash we call 'bad guys'. Respect, manners and (mental) maturity are very important to me.

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  • The're only boring to low IQ THOTs. The dumber a person is the more it will take to entertain them. If you're not jumping motor cycles or getting into bar fights, dumb girls aren't going to notice you. They don't have the brains to pay very close attention to the world around them.

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  • cuz they are. they don't set rules, fight for themselves, say no, they praise and smother the girl, to be nice in the context of dating is boring dude.

    Women rather fight with you for having a different opinion than to agree with them to make them happy.

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    • 15 d ago

      women love a fighter. Not a passive pussy puss.

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    • 15 d ago

      You don't think nice guys can have those qualities?

    • 15 d ago

      @Sonorous there are different degrees of nice put it that way for sake of argument. You can be nice and not take bullshit and not be passive or aggressive. Or you can be nice and takes bullshit and be overly passive.

      As a guy I don't want an overly nice girl I want a girl that can fight.

  • They seem like average guy friends to me. My guy friends are all nice guys.

    Not the "I held the door for you, why won't you fuck me you stupid slut?" ones, though. I don't play that game.

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  • because girls want to feel "secure". they can't feel secure with a nice guy, cause he's just nice to everyone. they can only feel secure if a guy is only nice to them but not to anybody else. insecure girls don't date nice guys. and then also being always nice is kind of monotonous. so yeah you can't avoid being boring if you're nice. that's why women love to create drama.

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  • Note to self--any gray shirts I have should be designated as sleeping shirts only.

    Most of us were born in a summer, but it's going to end. The history of mankind has been brutal and violent--many women are instinctively aroused by men who have dominance traits and at least the capacity to kill. Simply put--the females want a mate who can kill to protect them and her offspring, and who will have tough offspring.

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  • Because they are! Self-proclaimed nice guys are bottom-feeders.
    Nobody loves a passive guy, you have to take action. Don't expect girls to date you just because you give them a shoulder to cry on, that is just pathetic. Be the alpha, go out and ask her out, take initiative and maybe then girls will start finding you interesting. The key is "confidence", and nice guys lack that because they are too nice.

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  • well, for one thing, 'nice' is usually a euphemism for 'unattractive.' No one comments or notices your politeness if they can't stop thinking about banging you.

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  • "Nice guys" are not seen as boring. Boring guys are seen as boring. It isn't that women despise kindness for fuck's sake. It's that kindness alone isn't enough to make someone an interesting, unique, individual. Why should a woman date a guy who's only redeeming quality is being "nice" when there are millions of other guys out there who are just as "nice", but also attractive (because they take care of their appearances), confident, ambitious, hard-working, and have hobbies and passions?

    The take away: Continue being nice. Stop being boring. They are not mutually exclusive, and women (justifiably) expect both.

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  • Nice guys are not boring. Nice guys are the best. I think nice guys think that they are boring due to actually caring about what the next person thinks, but they might not be boring at all.

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    • 15 d ago

      I dont think you know what nice guy means in dating context.

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    • 13 d ago

      There was this super hot guy who liked me once, but I felt SO UNCOMFORTABLE around him... Something made me feel off, so I wasn't attracted to him.

      Things aren't just one way.

    • 13 d ago

      Interesting if you say so. I hear very differently.

  • Because no matter what girls say they dont want to fuck nice guys... probably because they are boring ass kissers... plus every guy is nice when they are still trying to get some pussy

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  • Fixed it!

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  • Nice guys only get taken advantage of, don't waste your life being a bitch. Oh, my bad, a nice guy.

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  • They aren't. Just don't be an /r/niceguys guy, go to therapy for any attachment issues and personality disorders, and you'll be fine

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  • shy, demure and unprotective. makes for terrible experience

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  • Well I think it's because they don't seem adventurous or they're not fun.

    Personally I don't like going to clubs, bars, music festivals, and just about any place that's really loud and filled with excessive amounts of alcohol.

    Cause well I don't drink often and people would consider me to be boring or I'm missing out in life.

    I'm a simple person and I think if you're with the right people, even a trip to Ikea could be considered fun.

    So... You know it's just the way people are and that's unfortunate.

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  • So all guys over 6 feet are not nice guys? lol

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    • 15 d ago

      Nah, they're all bad boys, or... lol I'm stumped there haha. I've met some over 6 hermits and creepy (like seriously sexual harrassy dudes), and some boring ones. Pic is not totally accurate ha.

  • That picture is hilarious

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  • I don't think they are boring. 🤷

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  • That picture is so petty😂😂😂😂😭😭😭

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  • They are too shy

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  • Because they are. I know since I've been one.

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  • This is a description of the Friendzoned.

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  • I sure as hell don’t have a fast food physique

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  • Nice is bland... like milk

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  • Six feet or less? Are most people giants or what?

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  • l am a Bad ass boy

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  • Because they aren't bad boyz

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  • And then get to be the girl's friend but not have sex with them

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    • 15 d ago

      I used to have a lot of girls say they wish they could find a guy like me but yet they don't want me

  • Because he's a bitch that's not willing to get ahead by selling dope, didn't have a narcissistic family fortune passed down to him, and not one of those deceitful game running players picking up all of the we her about through urban - desperate house wive and sluts. He's simply a bitch. And a loser Pete's sake.

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    • 15 d ago

      Sorry - "picking up all of the woman"

  • And they dont get girls easily

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