Religious people - most Christians say woman aren't supposed to chase - so how do you make the guy chase?

Every Christian leader I know says the man is supposed to do the wooing and chasing and hunting in the dating world

So if you meet a guy you are interested in - how do you get him to chase you?

Some girls dress up to bait guys into chasing them - but I don't like to objectify myself or to have others objectify me

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I don’t see anything wrong with you making your interest known to him. I don’t see anything in scripture that would prohibit that.

    However if you want him to chase you try flirting with him. Maybe dropping hints to invite you somewhere. For example you could say something during a conversation like: “I’ve never been to the science museum downtown and have always wanted to check it out.” If a girl was flirting with me or if I had an interest in a particular girl I’d use that as an opportunity to say something like: “me neither, I’ve always wanted to check it out too let’s go check it out together next Saturday” or ask for her number. I’ve taken more than one girl on a date because they basically dropped a hint like that and gave me the opportunity.

    You could try the old damsel in distress routine. Try being in a situation or creating one where he might need to help you. I don't know. Maybe something like not being able to open a jar or something so you can get a conversation going with him.

    I think your best bet is the option you don’t like. Some guys can be oblivious but getting dressed up and flirting heavily will get anyone’s attention.

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  • You can encourage him to pursue you by talking to him and being friendly. He should get it and take action.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Do you like a particular guy at your church? If so, does he sing in the choir or have some other ministry? That’s how you get close to someone without being obvious. You end up spending time together building an emotional bond in a more righteous setting, so he respects you more. A Godly man does things to help the less fortunate, like feed the homeless. Don’t be afraid to ask a trusted friend to introduce you to someone who shares your values. I don’t recall anything in the Bible where it states women can’t take the initiative. I do know that behavior was taboo when I was growing up. Do beware that there are lots of creeps at church too who profess to be Christians but they do bad things and fall back on Jesus dying for their sins as justification. Pray on it and God bless.

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  • Be nice to him & show him that you're wifey material. Looking nice doesn't hurt (as I'm sure you would be more interested in a guy who was well-groomed)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You can't "make" people do anything.

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  • People who find happiness in life, who set themselves up for success (however they define it) are usually people who set out to make things happen. They know what they want, and they go out and achieve it.

    People who wait for things to happen to them may find it harder to get what they want in life. When you’re a passive character in your own story, it can be challenging to get the ending you want.

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  • I'm Christian, I'm female, I've never heard that one. Sometimes she just has to take matters into her own hands and let him know she thinks he's attractive and she wants him to ask her out!! Just because he's a Christian doesn't make him any less obtuse than some guys are in the first place!

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  • If he isn't ready or interested, he isn't.
    What women did with me, which worked to a degree. was befriend me. they would ask to go for a hike in park, or to help them with something. That worked. then get to know. The screwed up attraction systems of people will still dominate, so you have to do best you can.

    I'm not impressed with the training I see in church for men in terms of dating, it's either non existant, or not helpful.

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  • Don't believe everything that the Bible or religious people say in the Bible it says you should Stone your kids in the Bible it says you shouldn't cut your hair in the Bible also says you should beat your wife or as soon as your Raper she's yours or some shit like that don't follow everything the Bible says think for yourself so take it with a grain of salt just be a good person and you'll be fine don't kill don't Rob don't steal don't lie you can ask out a guy women can do the wooing I swear to God if women would make the first move it would make life so much easier for men because then we wouldn't be in fear of rejection and that's really why most men don't chase women cuz they're intimidated and they're scared of rejection don't want to look like an idiot etc. Etc. If women would make the first move everything would have go so much smoother because then we know you like us then we're not scared we're not nervous because that hump of us thinking our heads oh my God does she like me does not like me what if I approached her and she blows me off that's already out of the way

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    • 10 d ago

      I hate when members of the church I've never even heard of a Christian leader I don't know what that is I hate when they instill these ridiculous rules into these young people's minds use our old ways of thinking think for yourself people

    • 10 d ago

      don't grow up to be that religious person that everyone fucking hates

  • You can't make a guy chase. So if you follow the "Christian ways" of dating your gonna have to sit around and wait for him to show interest. My advice, fuck that. Let him know you're interested, and if he takes offense to that he's not worth your time. Now don't do it aggressively or repeatedly, just let him know. Most guys these days actually appreciate it.

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  • Well, *I* certainly don't say that. It's ok to let a guy know you're interested. But be prepared that not all guys will reciprocate.

    I think the simple, straight forward approach is best.

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  • I see no where in the Bible says that women are not allowed to have friends with or ask men out. It does say how women are not supposed to dress or how a wife is supposed to act. Just my opinion.

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  • I honestly do not care what religious people say, they care more about their religion than they do God.

    I never recall God saying that one gender must chase another, so there is nothing wrong with it and thus, I am open to women chasing me, in fact, I prefer it.

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  • Women only openly chase if the guy is either really hot, wealthy or is famous socially.

    Now 99.9% of the time women do the initiating, through body language which indicates to the man that she is willing and receptive to being approached.

    Ie multiple glances, open body language, smiling, etc

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  • By taking matters into your own hands.
    There aren't a thing in the bible that says anything about who should wooing and chasing. It's a made up thing from insecure people that was christians.

    (The bible says. God helps those who helps themselves)

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  • I guess it is a good thing that I would be considered 'Pagan' by them, so I don't have to give a Fck!!
    In reality, women that chase, and are assertive, WOW!! Super hot!!

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  • F those people (with all due respect. And pardon the French.). That's an outdated gender norm that doesn't apply to today's society, and it doesn't take into account various personalities among men and women. Look, I'm as conservative as they come. I think men should be the preachers and I think homosexuality is wrong and I don't believe in premarital sex. But there's absolutely no reason to make up some arbitrary rule about who is allowed to talk first.

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  • If you want men to make a move
    You need to spend time with them
    After church show a few guys that you are interested
    Or tell your mom to tell their mom's that you are interested. They will mention you to their sons lol

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  • You conduct yourself as an admirable, highly moral, impressive woman and make us want you that way. Seeing how you act in different situations, if a guy is looking for the real deal, he'll notice the little things

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  • A 33 year old christian woman still searches for a christian man. Yeah good luck with that. Where were you at 18? That's right riding the cock carousel but now you've hit the wall at 33 and God's good grace has made you a virgin again.

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  • I'm Christan but I don't think the Bible is entirely accurate these days, which is okay. I still believe in the core principles of God. I don't think you can make men do that though...

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  • Where does it say that Christian women can't make the first move?

    "And Jesus said 'Wait thee, women, for a man to approach thee, lest thou be considered a harlot'".

    Yeah it doesn't say that anywhere. Except here where I just wrote it.

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    • 7 d ago

      In the Bible I don't think it specifically says that as you mentioned. But I'm aware that a lot of churches push that idea.

  • I can't even count how many Christians I've known in my life. Probably in the thousands. But I CAN count how many times I've heard a Christian say a woman isn't supposed to chase - zero.

    If you want something, go after it and don't play games. You can't make him chase you no matter what you do. All you can do is try to get his attention and hope he notices. And hope he is actually interested. It's a toss of the dice. Otherwise go after the guy that you are interested in. Take your fate into your own hands.

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  • If you meet someone you are interested in, talk to them. This applies to everyone, not just to pursue romantic relationships. Especially in 2019 every woman should feel empowered to walk up to a stranger that she finds interesting and strike up a conversation.

    What I have heard from those in the Christian community and believe in is men take the lead in forming a long term relationship and wooing a woman. In general it’s attractive for a man to step up and clarify his intentions and lead from planning the first date to standing at the alter first. While both people are valued, he gets to prove his value by wooing her.

    So I echo a few comments below in saying if you see someone and like them, go talk to them. I admit us guys don’t pick up well on hints and if you are waiting for us to chase you, no matter what bait you throw out we may never notice you.

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  • Bigger question: why let a religion tell you what to do?

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  • Go out and live. You'll be alone forever of you stay home waiting for a gentleman caller to come knocking on your door. TRUST ME. I've seen it happen.

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  • Be nice and friendly. Always be your happy self. Talk with him about your interest and what you passionate about. Smile and show him that you are fun to be around.

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  • I'm not Christian... I think this is a human things. If a guy likes you then he will potentially try. If he doesn't like u and you've given hints and he hasn't chased, he may never like you.

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  • I’m an atheist so I don’t know if this will help you but who cares what other people think your your own women and you can do as you please now be free

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  • No guy with any sense of dignity will 'chase'. It's truly one of the dumbest dating fallacies out there

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  • You can't make anyone chase you. For all the pretense and high minded morals, what it always come down to (either in church or out) is whether or not men are attracted to you. I suspect this is alleged sex predators like trump are so revered among religious ladies - after a life of rejection and the firm faith in their fellow Christians that the rejection has nothing to do with something as shallow as physical appearance, electing a pussygrabber president carries with it a tacit promise that fellow Christians should not be so shy in their pursuit of the unattractive ladies among them. Unfortunately, shyness has little to do with it. No faith, permission, or opportunity can override human nature when it comes to sex.

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  • If you want to get a job done well, you'll do it yourself.

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  • Christian too here... this isn't entirely true. You should first approach the guy, and then he'd start chasing you. If he's intrested first he might approach you first

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  • I see zero Scriptural support for this. In fact, Ruth made the move on Boaz.

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  • maybe you shouldn't always listen to what people tell you. specially not those that are superstitious and love make believe.

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  • Christianity doesn't say a thing about who's chasing who, as long as it'a decent and real than who makes the 1st move isen't important.

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  • Basing your dating on a 2000 year old book.
    How can this fail to work?

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    • 8 d ago

      I bet you would prefer to follow a book that was written last year and that everyone will have forgotten about by next year.

    • 8 d ago

      That would be far more sensible

    • 7 d ago

      😂😂

  • I'm christian and this is the first time I hear about this. That's crazy.

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  • You'll never get us to chase were fed up of chasing girls who play games.

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  • Former Christian here. Women should be modest. That doesn't mean they can't talk to a guy they like.

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  • Yeah. We're not supposed to chase. We're supposed to be chaste. 😛

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  • Well I don't play games. I put my feelings out there, but I tell them to think about it

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  • I haven't heard many Christian leaders say this. What part of your country do you live in?

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  • What Christian leaders say that? I thought you were Jewish

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  • The thing is that Christian leaders have been superficial for many hundreds of years and Men They Are being men they liked being control and make the rules your problem lies with the superficiality of your belief if you'll believe was of a different nature you may meet somebody who you connect with in a proper way most Christians nowadays just use it as a tool in their lives to be forgiven or to not be scared of death I would add that in nature I observe both sexes doing the wooing probably a more natural and we'll place to look for cluse than a book written by a man or men who definitely had political purpose at the time to really understand biblical texts and belief you would have to study the Lost Scrolls and possibly go back to the asiyans just reading the Bible on this subject is like reading the Sun newspaper and thinking that it is a serious political critique

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  • tag him

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  • I chase

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    • 9 d ago

      Feel free to chase me if you'd like! (I hope I didn't just spoil the fun by contacting you first.)

    • 9 d ago

      @Jamie05rhs
      Yeah, my day is now shot. You took the wind out of my sails. I was going to buy my mom a mother's day gift, but screw it. She can wait till next year. :(

    • 9 d ago

      LOL. I didn't mean ALL your fun. I was just referring to the dating part. 😅

  • You're 33. Grow up!

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  • Chase men anyways, madam Jennifer.

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  • Ok yes

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  • We women are narcissistic masochists. We hate it when things are going well, especially if they continue to go well for long periods of time. We know down deep that we are fucked-up and not worthy of anything that is truly good. So when things are going well in a relationship, we eventually sabotage it. We just can’t help ourselves in this regard.
    We could have the greatest, most handsome, most well-hung husband in the world—a one-of-a-kind man who makes all of our girlfriends jealous; we could have the greatest children in the world, who are beautiful, well-behaved and ambitious; we could have the most enviable career imaginable; we could have all of the money and prestige and the truly good things in life, and we could repeatedly tell ourselves over and over, and believe, on the surface, that we would never cheat on our husbands. But down deep we know that it’s a lie. Because one day, we could walk into a grocery store, and some bad boy could whisper just the right combination of words in our ear, and the next thing you know, we’re at the Motel 6 getting it in the ass. That’s just how we are, and any woman—especially a hot woman—who says otherwise, is a liar.
    We want a man whom we can’t have. We want a man who honestly doesn’t give a fuck about us, who doesn’t care if we come or go. That’s the kind of man we will pursue. Call them bad boys or call them whatever you want, that’s the kind of man we want – period. The kind of guy who will make us orgasm, crudely, and give us a huge sexual thrill in the bedroom, and then discard us like used toilet paper, and fuck our female friends afterwards, just because he can. (Just like we would do with his male friends.)
    We lie about not wanting men with large penises. If we told the actual truth about the number of different men and women we’ve slept with, and if we told the actual truth about our fervent desire for big dicks, our pool of potential suitors would shrink drastically, to the point where it would completely dry up. So we lie. Most often, we will claim that we’ve had between three and eight sexual partners in our lifetime. And, to our way of thinking, it isn’t a lie, because if we had five sexual partners last Saturday evening, and our man asks us how many sexual partners we have had, and we answer, “Five”, well, technically, we aren’t lying.
    A woman will do just about anything, sexually speaking, so long as she is fairly certain she won’t get caught. For example, we will occasionally go out of town in order to rendezvous with a man we’ve been longing to fuck, and/or to have multiple sex partners in the same evening, and/or at the same time.
    This is something most women do, most especially. In our minds, it is a natural desire, and a natural thing, and so long as nobody else finds out, it’s “game on”. Women are receptacles for cock, that’s how we have been biologically designed. Nothing feels better to us than being completely filled up with multiple penises, than being the center of sexual attention, than being the object of unbridled group lust. Since it’s something we can’t risk doing on our home turf (don’t shit where you eat), we have to think outside the box, in order to get our boxes completely satisfied. And you might find this shocking, but many women – many, many women – have sex with dogs on a routine basis. This is just one example of how insatiable we truly are.
    I can see why you might not believe it, to which I say, look really hard at all of the women you know who have dogs. Look at women who have dogs whenever you see them out on the street, in the act of walking those dogs. Or at the park. You will notice that most of them have male dogs – the vast majority, in fact. This isn’t a coincidence. And look at all the female teachers who are exposed in the media for having sex with underage students. We have no self-control when it comes to sex – or anything else, for that matter. To our way of thinking, losing control is what makes sex great

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  • Step1 Don't be Christian
    Step2 ?
    Step3 sex

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  • I used to think a world where women would chase equally to men could be a good idea, until I realized they'd only chase the top 20% of us.

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  • "Every Christian leader I know says the man is supposed to do the wooing and chasing and hunting in the dating world"

    Really? I have literally never heard a Christian leader say that. Can you provide an example or two?

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