No! In fact, I would be grateful I actually got rejected directly, and clearly. I get ghosted so often I got used to it. It got so bad that when I got rejected directly, I was actually shocked, and grateful.Imagine if you were talking to someone (let's say a girl, in my case). I approach her. We hit it off. We exchange numbers, we agree to go out later... etc. Seems like things are going well. After that? Total absolute radio silence.Compare that to approaching a girl who directly tells me, "You seem like a decent guy, but I'm not interested at this time."My response: "I completely understand. Thank you for telling me directly. I sincerely appreciate that. I hope you have a wonderful evening, and God bless!"Then, I'd just walk away.
CoachT! Thanks for the MHO.
I think there is no doubt that it hurts a little but I always move on. There is no need to take it personally. I also have a philosophy that this who reject me, are doing me a favour. Because in the end, they are not supposed to be in my life.
I think I’ve gain the maturity to deal with rejection, before I would have taken it personal. Not anymore, I understand now that everyone has different standards, expectations, perceptions of beauty, perceptions of life and we are all in constant search for what we believe is ideal for us so there is no need to take other people personal for not finding you to be the one fitting their perceptions and expectations. If you do take it personal, it will be like a poison that kills you slowly with resentment, anger and inability to continue growing.
So, when you get accepted, it must be a non-event for you.
I was filled with anger and resentment toward the female population as a whole, but I also continued to grow.Think of a passive/aggressive blond version of Elliot Roger who looked like a member of the Hitler Youth. 🤣A few times I have seen (mostly young) females being bashed by their choice of male company.When I was your age, I would have gone to the rescue.About age 30, I had the epiphany that she had chosen the psycho/violent drunk/scumbag, because he was her exciting bad boy.Therefore, what followed from that choice was 100 per cent her responsibility.I will not deprive a female of the excitement she craved.Enjoy. 😁
@cth96190 Many women have had violent drunken fathers, so they expect that to be normal, sad for them, NO man must touch a woman, at all times besides helping her or loving her.
@BadballieI will “touch a woman” if she initiates violence. That is called self defence.A lot of women think that men exist to be their punching bags when they have one of their (usually drunk) tantrums.Wrong!Enjoy the gender equity.
A small part will take it personally but for the most part I usually figure it's him not me. And I'm ok with it.
coachTanthony, thank you for the MHO.
Have an opinion?
To some extent, yes, even though I'm very aware that many reasons are not personal.
Well yeah! Especially if said guy describes or wants a girl with my personality or features, yet won't give me a chance. It's like, "I want a girl like you, just NOT you..." Or if you've become attached to him but he decides he rather just be friends with or ghosts you...But meh, it's not like you can do anything about it. I just vent to my friends, go hit my punching bag or rage over the idiocy of said guy, and eventually I get over him with time.
Change the genders & could you could be talking about me. I swear if I hear one more time:"You're a wonderful guy, and some girl some day will be lucky to have you. So let's be friends."GRR!🤨😑
You shouldn't but it's hard not to sometimes if you have an ego. Especially when things seem to go well or you feel the woman was interested, but not showing much personality. So you're not given much of a chance and then she flakes out. I'm not a joke teller, and I think most jokes are inside jokes for people or what would work. If you hardly know someone it either doesn't usually come off as funny because they don't know you. And even if it does, there's only some many jokes you can do before it's too much, plus you don't want to try too hard or try to be funny. If you are, it's not gonna be natural or funny. I'm more of a witty, quips person. But a woman has to show some personality and then it just comes naturally. I have to warm up sometimes, but when I get going it's like NBA jams "he's on fire!"... I think there's actually that ny lottery guy that yells it out in the background in the corner everywhere I go when I get into that flow... But it's hard to not get frustrated as nobody likes a dry spell and if you're getting rejected, that prolongs either a relationship or sex. And sometimes it can make one feel like, I just need someone to not flake out and get that momentum again and how big it will, so you can carry on from there.
Well since all rejections are about a person rejecting another person, it is technically personal. But, in most cases they're being rejected by someone who barely knows them so it's up to you if you want to take their quick evaluation of you to heart
Depends... if I I am interested in a guy but we never talked enough to be close and he doesn't seem interested I am ok with it.However, if he leads me. on and we become friends and he doesn't want me then I take it personally. If you don't want me at least make it clear from the start you just want ne as a friend and then I will decide if O want it to be this way. Leading someone on is cruel, if you do it consciously you are just a shitty person.
One cannot take rejection personally, it maybe that you have sought after someone that is not in your league which means you go back and question your status abd what it is that you're seeking. Rejection may also come from the other side where there may be issues that they need to deal with. It takes two l believe, and you can't take it personally if there is no connection from the other. It has to come from both.
Being in your league doesn't guarantee the other person will like you. Maybe they are in your leage by your standard but you are not by their standards.
@emmily2396 thats right, it works for everyones standard, by league, l am saying if someone looks after themselves and the one perusing you does not look after themselves at all, that is what the meaning implies, to go back and look at youself in the mirror, if you're after someone who has higher standards than you, one needs to lift their game in order to be considered at the same level. Of course connection is a major factor for two parties to get together. Generally speaking people know what the other looks like by photos online or by knowing that person. Its often the online dating is the let down, because of higher expectations. :))
Some guys are in a happy relationship, I know that I do flirt with women because I like IT. My wife used to get very upset but has come to realise I don't intend to ever get involved with that person. I like it when women flirt back, without either one of us meaning anything bad.
Yeah because 90% of the time they act really interested at first, I'd rather just be shot down up front which I have but only a handful of times which I handled fine
Do they "act" or maybe they really are just trying to give it a chance?
Maybe some do, but the majority literally act like they're in love and wanting to sleep with me or date me and then a couple days or a week later i never hear from them again, I even had 1 girl tell me she loves me a month in and I'd never met her in my life in person, and I told her no she didn't love me and she swore up and down she did, I don't know why i find all the crazy ones
I have gotten that a few times myself. They get all caught up in the moment and when the dust clears they're not interested anymore. Very weird emotional roller coaster.
Yeah I'd rather get rejected up front I could handle it a lot better
No, I just think timing wasn't' right for one of us. When I've rejected some guys, hasnt' been because I didn't like them, it was because I didn't want to relate to them romantically during that period. And I did consider them attractive but I just wasn't emotionally willing to "be there".
It would depend in why they rejected me. If I was out of shape and unattractive I'd get it tbh. If I had nothing to offer or wasn't their type I'd also get it. If it wasn't any of those things yeah I'd find it personal a bit. But I'd get over it.
Logically, I know I should not take it personally. But on an emotional level, it's easier said than done. I still feel hurt, even though I know I shouldn't be. It's not something I can control.
When someone tries to break it softly or works around it or plays the maybe game I take it personally (because that is them making a judgement on my character that I can't take rejection) however the rejection itself doesn't bother me... Probably because knowing someone isn't attracted to me kills any affection I had for them pretty instantly.
No I dont see the point in taking it personal. If they dont want to be with you then thats that. Yeah I guess it hurts for some people but in the end of the day either they just lost the best they'll ever find or you just gained the chance of finding the best one for you. Also life is too fucked up to take rejection personal.
I do my best to move forward but in case she was your friend for a while and then you ask her to be your girlfriend it's a little bit more difficult
Of course I took it personally.What I learned was to not be hurt.I was disappointed, but what pissed me off was seeing girls with knuckle-dragging retards and/or obvious bad boys who intended to pump and dump.I lost all empathy/sympathy for females who had been physically, sexually and emotionally abused by their psycho bad boy of the moment.She picked him, that exciting and sometimes psycho bad boy.She deserves everything that comes of her choice.Enjoy. 😁
The first and only time I got rejected, I did take it personally of course.It is like a blow in the face and you wonder why is it that you were rejected. What did you do wrong or what should you have done differently.But you also have to look at it as a success because with each rejection, you learn from your mistakes and you try to improve. This precept basically applicable to every endeavor in life where rejection or failure is one of the 2 available options.But now, I am not into dating since I prioritize my studies over anything else.I do, however have to reject people hitting on me and based on the way I felt when I was rejected the first time, I try to be as diplomatic or kind as possible because I know it is not a nice feeling and it takes courage, first to ask a girl and then to be rejected.
When it happens, I just ignore them from there on out. They might try to be friendly and stuff, but I don't respond to it because it would be awkward and they now have information they might try to use to make me their puppet, which I'm not going to stand for.
Never been rejected so dunno but I guess I would feel shitty about myself, I would not hold it against the other person of something.
I take it personally if I was in a relationship and after a few week they got rid even though everything was going well if I got rejected if a random girl I didn't know then I wunt be that botherd but if I knew them personally or I was in a relationship then they rejected me I would take it personally
It is personal, they've reject you because they don't like the person you are or don't think you're compatible. It can be just as hard to reject as be rejected.
Unless you are in a team event etc but Im sure you are talking about romantic rejection then of course its personal , How can it be anything other than personal? , its how you deal with it that is important
honestly i can’t lie and say i don’t because i do. it makes me feel as if something must be wrong with me in order for someone not to want me back. maybe that’s cause i’m very insecure as it is 😂😂.
At first I didn’t but after a while I started to especially after my mom told me that I was ugly and that no guys would ever find me attractive
Mostly not. You can't go down that slippery slope haha
Not even a little bit. It is what it is. I need getting bent out of shape about it.
Nope. Not at all. Everyone has their preferences. If two people weren't meant to be together, they weren't meant to be together. It isn't the end of the world. You just move on and continue the search.
Depends. If it’s on the first 2-4 dates or before no. If it’s been weeks or months, yes.
I used to, but I don’t anymore. Taste in men/women is so various, that there are women out there that don’t have the taste for who I am.
If i get rejected make me work harder to get noticed.. they eventually end up being mine..
I can take rejection tho haha, i have been friend zoned a lot.. " A friendship is better then no relationship"
You have been friendzoned a lot I don't know why? You look cute though
I change my vote to other. Rejection seems a personal thing, but I realize it's not all about me, it's about them as well. It may in fact be their own false image of themselves, their own issues casting a shadow, I made a bad impression, or I'm just not for them. Last 2 are personal about me.So it doesn't bother me so much anymore now that I better understand how this works. I had this scenario recently... she rebuffed me with a lie (I have a BF), it did not phase me, I later found out all the reasons why she's a mess as she shared her reality. I know I don't want to deal with all that, I care enough as a person as that's who I am, but it's all good and moved on. noone is hurt.
Take it personally? Do you mean like writing them out of your life?
If it was superficial and they didn't know me well enough then No... If I feel like it was because my personality then yes..
No, and actually some of my closest female friends are girls who rejected me upon asking them out. But I was able to recover well enough to keep going and hang out as friends, giving me opportunities to meet their acquaintances and friends and ask them out! :-DI did used to get bitterly disappointed when I was rejected as a teenager, and perhaps in ways that hurt my self-esteem. But I got over that later on and I stopped crushing. I stopped becoming emotionally invested in a girl until she said "yes", and that helped tremendously as far as being able to shrug off rejections and even stay in a positive mood immediately after.
I used to take it personally as in "I was a fool to even bother." Now, I'm just not bothering at all.
If you don't bother you will never know.
I'll never know what? If they were interested? I lost an interest in being with someone about 6 years ago. Maybe I'll change in the future, but it isn't often that I do.
Yes if they were interested. I see you lost interest though so... no worries... do your thing man!
Not really. Unless it's made personal. Some people really put the effort into spelling it out for you when it was already obvious 😂
No, most people are replaceable, also if you feel like you're a catch who cares what that person thinks lol move on there's 7 billion people on this planet
If i feel it was meant personally then yes.I just don't put myself in a position to get rejected anymore simple solution. Don't feel anything.
I would love to say no but rejection does hurt the psyche.
No. I have been rejected so many times that I have become indifferent to it.
@Guaedian45 don't what? Isn't it good that you become indifferent to rejection
I do, honestly. The girls make excuses but I know they’re just trying to avoid me. I lost trust in them ever since I was rejected by one girl in 2009 who said she “wasn’t looking for a relationship”, my vulnerable & gullible self believed her, and then in less than 3 months she was dating my classmate, instead of coming back to me (I asked first!) 😭💔 Another girl (at work) rejected me by saying she might be traveling around Europe (I asked her to an event months in advance) which I knew was true, but when that event came, she was STILL living here in Dublin, but of course she never came back to me to tell me “Hey, since I’m still in the country, I’m free to go to that event you invited me too...” 😖It’s moments like these that lead me to take EVERY rejection personally. This would not happen if they were attracted to me. We see all the time that girls will fight tooth and nail to avoid plans that interfere with a date organized by the hot guy they actually fancy 😒
Probably? But not in a bad way. Like... if she rejects me chances are there is something she doesn't like about me. Alternatively there's someone else she really likes and she's pursuing them or her dating policies are odd and the way in which I'm approaching her doesn't fit in with them. Overall though... those two options I don't suspect are really the common ones. If a girl rejects me it's probably cause she has some personal issue with me, I don't have any problem with that, if she has a personal problem with me that's perfectly fine and I can respect tha, but I will assume it's a personal thing unless I'm told otherwise.
Not at all.If at first you don’t succeed etc etc.Besides, for every 100 no’s, you’re bound to get a yes.Let’s play the game of probabilities.
Absolutely not. I see it as an opportunity to grow and better myself
No never, I am sure I would be being rejected based on superficial reasons but it's their loss in the end.
Its diffcult to answere because it hurts you when someone brokes your heart. May be you pretends that nothing happen but internally it ia painful
Yes but that’s because I’ve never had luck with dating. It seems to be something that just comes natural to everyone but me lol
same here. If I can get a guy to like me for more than 2 months lucky me
I did.. I just dont care anymore. I started to see how may times a year I use to get rejected. I'm at 3. I stopped trying
Not really i just laugh it off well in real life it don't really happen usually i reject
Not really, when I got rejected my whole species got rejected.
I'm ugly so rejection is expected Normally I just shrug off but yea it can sometimes leave a burn mark on my confidence
All blokes are ugly. 😂
I've been rejected countless times and it still hurts me. Even when I don't like them and they say I'm ugly it hurts me.
Used to, but I've grown up and realised that I won't be everyone's type just like everyone isn't my type.
Not really. I haven't been rejected in ages though.
Depends on why she rejected me. If it turns out she was taken and I didn’t know, then no I wouldn’t but otherwise I probably would
Dumb question. If you got accepted, you'd take it personally.
I've never been rejected, but when I rejected people it was never because of that specific person.
Nah shit happens. It wasn't gonna work anyway if the other person isn't into it so whatever.
Depend of how much emotion time I have spent on it.
Well if it happens over and over it's pretty disheartening lol.
I don't care about rejection anymore.I'm indifferent.
You cannot undo this action. The opinion owner is going to be notified and earn 7 XPER points.