A first kiss?

I am interested in a man who has told me that he feels awkward about the one time we shared a kiss. It was our second date and afterwards he told me he felt he took advantage of the situation and he has dated women for over a month before he even tried to kiss them. The thing is.He is 38 years old! What is the big deal? It was only a kiss. Well, about 2 hours of kissing but nothing more. Is he weird that he wouldn't have loved that, or is he that serious about relationships that he feels he needs to hold off on kissing until a solid relationship has been established?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Hi there. I've read your other questions about this guy and what's going on between you two. Seems like this guy has you a little perplexed and to tell the truth, I'm with you.

    It's difficult to picture a 38 year old in his situation but I'm just guessing that he is trying to follow some ideal of what a serious relationship should start out like because he really doesn't know what he should be doing. He probably does like you and doesn't want to make a relationship faux pas and possibly ruin any future with you.

    I'm guessing too that he's a bit hesitant in discussing any feelings between you two and perhaps where you would like the relationaship to go. The only thing you can do is either talk to him about this stuff and try to bring him out or let him proceed at his own pace.

    • Thank you! So do I just take a hint and realize that by him backing off is his way of saying he's not interested? I certianly don't want to come across as desperate!

    • Normally I would say that his backing off is a sign that he's not interested. But with this guy, he may have no idea what to do next so the easiest thing to do is nothing.

      I may be wrong, but a guy that's this hesitant about what to do and who has been alone for 38 years may not be someone you would want to be in a relationship with anyway.

      I also don't think you'll come across as desparate if you decide to pursue it a bit more because it seems that this guy wouldn't pick up on that.

What Girls Said 1

  • Well, he could be a little old-fashioned. Depending on how long he's been dating (did he leave a marriage or serious relationship that lasted for years, for example, or if he's never had a serious relationship) he could not be sure how things move anymore, or he could be nervous.

    I would talk to him about it if possible. Try and let him know how you feel, let him know that you are involved in the relationship and you do have feelings for him, feelings you would like to express physically. Other than that, just be considerate, try to understand his position as well, and give him little hints you want to kiss him more, etc.