Tired of my life... any advice, please?

I have tried everything to get out of the loneliness that is my life. I've tried online dating, going out to bars and clubs... I've worked on my appearance, on working out, on listening to the advice of god knows how many people on how to meet women

and still I am alone. I've been with 1 girl my entire life, which I dated for about 2 months in college... my Bday is 1 week before Valentine's day, and I walked in on her having a quickie with another guy on my Bday, so the only Valentines day I thought I would spend with someone else ended up that way...

i don't know what to do anymore. I see all the hookups, all the relationships, all the people living their lives... and I've tried, with such persistence, and yet I can't seem to change my situation.

i feel like I am missing out on some pretty important things I should be experiencing and I'm really don't have any more motivation to live...

not sure what to do

(Thanks to people that answer; I appreciate the advice, just please realize if I come off as a little blunt in answering your responses that I am not in a good place, and am really just grasping for some kind of direction.)


Most Helpful Guy

  • You just gotta take it easy braaaa. I know this doesn't make sense, but if you chase what you want like crazy, it won't come to you: The reason for that is that girls smell your desperation of you to get a relationship and that is truly a turn off. Just don't compare yourself to those people, yeah they have their thing going on, whatever being single its not that bad anyways, think about it: You can make out, have sex with as many girls as you like and you have no body to blame you or to yell at you, you don't have to call her all the time, and talk to her when you don't want to, hell you save yourself a lot more money too, its great trust me.!

    Just make yourself better, don't put women in a pedestal trust me once you do it, you get all the control over your dating life, as you are not begging or you are more mysterious as you don't see women as all of that, just somebody to have fun anyways, she is making your life difficult? Kick the girl to the curve and just go for the next. Its the essence of feeling free and not being subject to any bodies decisions or judgments that will make you truly happy.

    • yea but how do I go out there any meet women for that? I don't seem to have any luck with it and I have made an effort to improve myself to the best of my ability (physically and in terms of my behavior), still haven't made any gains

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I am in a relationship at the moment and it's great.

    I constantly have single friends asking me how they can win over a man/woman or just get into a good relationship and I always say the same thing:

    "Stop looking."

    The reason being, they will constantly be on the lookout and if something comes along that 'fits the criteria' they'll settle for it. Rather than going for someone who is the absolute and more.

    Also, when you're looking so intently, you overlook important things and important people. Someone could fancy the pants off you, but because you're so intent on searching for 'the one' or a 'bit of fun' they figure "Oh, it's obviously not me they want then." and give up.

    And because many people think that about themselves, it's a vicious circle.

    Seriously, enjoy your life and forget about it and the person will come along I promise you. I have never in my life looked for a relationship or hook-up I've just enjoyed life for what it is. And when a relationship has come along, it has not been expected and I have judged it for what it is rather than saying "finally a relationship, I'm in!".

    Because you could get yourself into a relationship just for the comfort of having one, not for what the relationship can really offer you.

  • You don't need a women to complete you. You have plenty of life left to live. Plenty of time to find somebody. In the meantime just hang with your friends. It'll help you take your mind off that. Get a job. Join a club. Anything that will keep you busy, happy, and always around people.

    • yea but I still have needs

      knowing that the only girl I ever trusted and got close to did that makes the whole idea of "love" feel reallllly cheap, and I'm not really content anymoer with the idea of letting my youth pass me by and not having any of my needs met

      as much as I would prefer a meaningful relationship that is build on trust and intimacy, I would at least like to be getting meaningless sex right now B/C I reallly doubt that the girl I'm gana end up with is saving herself for just me

    • Show All
    • its wise to be a hedonist that lives life for pleasure instead of a set of values or goals?

      really now

    • well, of course you need to have values and goals to live for. but your happiness is the most important thing

What Guys Said 2

  • 18-24 years old? plenty of time dude.. stop worrying about it.

    I'm 26, I worry constantly as well.. I had one "serious" relationship that lasted about 3 years.. but that was like 4 or 5 years ago now, haven't had a date since.

    sometimes it bothers me, other times I realize that I'm young and I have plenty to accomplish on my own, withOUT worrying about finding Love 24 hours a day.

    obviously I don't know your whole situation, but, just hang in there man. again, you're pretty young, focus on yourself for now. keep trying of course, but, don't let it get you down. when life hands you lemons.. you make lemonade.

    good luck to us both.


  • there is someone out there just for you I swear there is...this person won't care about your appearance...they will see you for the perfect person that is in there deep down inside...what are you looking for in a person? what do you like? there is a website called plenty of fish and they have a questionare that makes and finds your match to a T...try it out and Good luck