Why does he even bother to rely?

Hi guys,

I have a crush on one of my friends but I can't really decode his behavior towards me. I know him for about 2 years already and we have been befriended since. He is a player (or at least during the last months he was but he has also been in some long-term relationships before). He tried to kiss me when we were both drunk about a year ago but I had a pretty harsh reaction as I thought he just wanted to have fun and I was not interested in ruining our friendship for a fling. I got to know him better on a trip we took together and I think, it was also then, when I saw his nice and soft side, that I developed feelings for him. Now, we have a very strange relationship: he tells me from time to time which girls he is interested in or hooked up with but other times he massively flirts with me and seeks my company. He wrote me text messages on my mobile after nights out when he left earlier than me and told me that I looked hot in the new dress or he asked me whether I managed to get rid of a guy who was flirting with me. Then he flirts openly with girls when I am around and I don't hear from him in days. He tried to kiss me again after we were drunk the other night but I just don't want anything to happen without knowing where I stand as a fling would hurt me. He asked me that night to let him know what I will be up to the next day but when I did, he did not answer. But then he wrote a very casual message next day to ask me how my evening was and that said he was not in town the night before. How should I take his reaction? If he is not interested in me, why does he bother even replying to me? And if he replies why is he that casual? Why is he playing a cat and mouse game with me? And what should I do next?


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What Guys Said 2

  • You are right he is playing a cat and mouse game with you. I think he is trying to see if he can get you in bed. And I think when yo uand him get drunk he keeps trying to see if he can get that kiss in. I think that's good that you are holding out. And I don't blame you for not wanting to be a fling. I think he tries to hide his feelings for you by playing the situation cool. You basically know everything about him and I feel that he really trust you by telling you who he hooked up with,etc. I think he sees you as a best friend or like a sister. Once he tells you howhe feels about you then you and him can maybe take things to the next level if he likes you.

    • Being treated like a friend sucks though :-( How do you think I should behave? Should I play it cool as well? Should I stop flirting with him? Or should I make clear that I am interested as well? Should I stop going out with him and our friends?

    • I agree being treated like a friend sucks especially if you like somebody. :( I think you should play it how ever you want. Me personally I wouldn't change anything about the situation. You and him can go out and still have a fu ntime with each other. As far as the fliritng and texting goes it's up to you. If you enjoy the attention from the fliritng and texting then have fun with it. I think it makes the sitution tougher because you have strong feelings for him. And he is not really saying

    • how he feels about you. He knows you will be there for him to talk to him and give him comfort. And then he disappears for days or text you late sometimes, etc. You ocul slow down a bit with the texting and fliritng. But any change changes the whole friendship. Even if yo utold him you liked him and he doesn't like you back. It can make things even more weird and awkward.

  • He probably likes you as a friend but he sounds like he loves women too much to settle with just one.


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