Did I got traumatized losing my virginity?

The first time i lost my virginity to someone It hurt especially doggy style. (I regret that he took full control over my body the first time) And after that i was still bleeding for hours and it got so bad that i was shaking and had to rush to the ER.. (I talked to a sex doctor about this and she said that it won’t happen the next time. I asked her if it can be that his penis is too big she said no) so I don't know if thats true. So when i tried to have sex again It already hurt when he put his dick inside me and started bleeding very little bit (It hurt more than the first time)? And then i told him to stop cause i was scared.. And when i told him that i was bleeding too much and got sick after that night he took my virginity His reply broke my heart he literally said ‘Oh did you still bleed aftee that?’.. I’m so insecure now and scared to have sex again.. It’s so bad that i want to try it with someone else to see if there was something wrong with me or him..
+1 y
Oh and foreplay was longer my first time the second time it was not. (He spit in my vagina to make it wet..) And that was unexpected
Did I got traumatized losing my virginity?
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