3 mo

I need serious advice or someone’s opinion please?

Me and my boyfriend have been together almost a year and the one thing I hate most about myself is that I suffer from depression and that I constantly feel the need to have someone around in order to keep sane. And I don’t just mean a boyfriend but anybody in general. When my roommate left half way through the semester because of her own personal issues I practically went insane. It’s like whenever I’m alone for too long my depression episodes kick in. And my boyfriend has been here for me whenever I’m down but I also know that it’s an Unattractive quality to always need somebody to rely on. And it sucks because... obv if I know it’s a bad quality to have... would I still be doing it if I didn’t mind? No, I’d just be happy everyday if I could. But I can’t help it sometimes. And to make me feel like more shit my boyfriend told me how it seems to him that I don’t appreciate my alone time as much as him. He’s ok with going days or a week apart because he knows that neither of us are going anywhere. But for me it’s harder. He told me that because of his last relationship that he didn’t have as much patience as he use to for doubting and stupid stuff like that. He sincerely apologized for that. Told me that there was nothing wrong with me for being like this and that he loved me none the less but that he doesn’t want the extra stress than he already has from other things like work and school, etc. Today he’s got his alone time for the night and I totally respect that but I’m also depressed seeing that I’m home with nothing to do and missing him because I haven’t seen him in 4 days. I feel super alone and the last thing I want to do is bother him again and again about how I’m doing crappy, mentally.
I know that some of what I said may make my boyfriend appear as selfish or a jerk but he’s really not. He’s human and I agree with mostly everything he feels. But I just wish I didn’t feel so insecure...
I need serious advice or someone’s opinion please?
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