This is gonna be a bit of a long one, I’m just a bit in my feelings about this. I’m 19 years old and not a virgin. I lost my V 3 years ago, but unfortunately it was the last time. I’m not actually a scumbag I swear. It just seems more and more as if I’m not good enough? Like I swear I’m not a loser.. I don’t just sit around on my Xbox all day. I actually go out and have fun. I exercise 6 days a week - hit the gym for 4, play football for 1 and box (including sparring)1 day a week. On top of that I literally do press ups when I’m bored. I definitely do over 100 press ups a day. When I’m bored at work I’ll go to the toilet to bash out some press ups (irrelevant I know, I just want you to understand me better). I’m active. I’m not some sloth on the decline. I’ve got a shit ton of potential. I don’t think I’m ugly either. I’m alright looking with a strong, aesthetic physique. Each of my friends, they’ve all have multiple, regular sexual partners since I lost my V. I’ve tried so hard to find a girl. I've messaged so many girls on Instagram but none of them reply. I try meeting girls at clubs, but it’s like I ain’t right for none of them. It actually hurts me so much. I can recall being told to go away a good few times. I know it probably seems like I’m not the kinda guy that’d care, but I do. It actually hurts me that I can’t get a girl. I’ve paid for sex once before. I’m the only one in my group to do so. I’m just worried girls will find out, I think they already know. I swear these mutual link girls called me disgusting as I walked past. I’m not actually a pig. I could never admit it to my mates, but some nights I just chill in my room watching romantic comedies on Netflix (cringey I know). Otherwise I’ll be watching fight vids or playing FIFA or just chilling with my mates lol. I kinda feel like I might be a chosen one. My poor success with girls makes me want to pursue something massive, something that’ll give me a lot of power and make those girls regret.