Have An Opinion?
I’m a very Independent women, I pay for my share, which I always offer. I don’t see anything wrong with splitting the bill. So I’ve been seeing this guy and I’ve known him for a while now. We aren’t in a relationship because there’s a few red flags about him. So as of lately I notice every time we go out when he is about to pay he will kinda eye me and of course I’ll pick up the tab drinks if we are at a bar, but he knows I work hard and make good money and when I pay he will order whatever he wants but when he pays he’ll ask for water. Like WTF!!! I’ve never been tight when it comes to eating good or treating myself. Just kinda lame how some guys can be so damn cheap now a days. Smh!!!
It's a nice gesture if a guy is gentlemanly and pays, but I work, I can pay for my own food. If he asks to split the bill, I'd do it without any bitterness going forwards. I also don't expect him to pay for every thing, sometimes it's my turn to show that I care.
Imagine if a girl made a nice gesture and paid for a guy on a first time one time. That could actually be the key to fixing global warming, but we'll never know.
I would say to her, "A gentleman always picks up the tab for a date and I have done that my entire life. I am just a very traditional guy. It does not mean that I am buying your affections or that you are obligated to do anything for me in return. You will never hear me say, 'but you owe me because I bought your dinner.' Never. However, if me paying for your meal makes you feel uncomfortable, that is the last thing that I would want to do to you and this is not a matter of pride or male ego. So, if you really, really want to pay for your meal, you can do so, but it isn't necessary."
@toleratingcomplexity Only a cheapskate would say that.
A cheapskate? Are we in the 80's? I think it is a foolish thing to quibble about. Does one think they will look the hero by spending 40 dollars. Lol. I bought a homeless dude a hotel room tonight on a vacation I am taking. Just to be nice. If he insisted I shouldn't I wouldn't have. People have their reasons for their asks. I like to respect that.
@toleratingcomplexity And I don’t have to see him again. If he can’t be a man enough to pay then he’s not worth my time.
I think that is really well said.
DreamLivining, it would be kind if you could split a bill with a man. It would be considerate.
Dont even try bro. There is no discussion. I have had two of my comments pointing at the obvious sexism and entitlement of that mindset removed. Older and wiser indeed.
If you act like that, you are an entitled, selfish cheapskate. I had to say it.
Because you engage logic instead of emotion. Double standards are shit. And those who propagate them make the world a worse place. Oh a white teen with some weed. Let em slide and confiscate. Black kid with some weed? Intent to distribute. Many months in jail. No difference. Fair is fair. Taking advantage of others is nasty. Parasitic.
@toleratingcomplexity That is how my generation handles things. You generation handles things differently; you may consider that your generation does some things better, and I think your generation does some things much worse, but there are reasons and explanations.If the most important thing to you is that a lady pay for her own dinner, then state that at the beginning and refuse to date a woman unless she accepts that condition. But criticizing others because they do things differently sounds like you are being rigid and intolerant. Can't you disagree without calling people names?
Do you not agree that that idiology that you espouse is in fact a double standard? Where is the logic or reason in thats just the way things are? Why is tradition preferably to fairness and equality? Why is the way things used to be better than the way things should be? I can't wrap my head around why that makes sense to anyone. Living in the past with outdated ideology is precisely why the world is in the state it is in. If an entity doesn't take full responsibility for their existence they likely contribute to the degredation of this world.
@toleratingcomplexity You have fixed ideas on the way things "should" be and you don't understand why others do not agree with you. There are two possible explanations:1. You are the smartest guy on the planet and everyone else is too dumb to follow you; or2. You don't really have a clue about why others have made their decisions.Why does it matter to you whether my generation handles this issue differently? No one is trying to force you to change the way you handle things.
It is irrelevant. Why can't you address my question directly instead of 1. Deflecting and 2. Constructing strawman arguments?I will ask another direct question. Why have you made your descision to follow the status quo from here on with no regard to faculties. Is it merely that you revealed your true intentions with the first negation in your first post? "It is not that I am trying to buy your affections..." or some such. Happy life happy life right?
@toleratingcomplexity You attacked my opinion, called me names, and now you expect me to respect you enough to allow you to establish the question which we will discuss? Does the world always work that way for you? You always get to be in charge?This is not an intelligent discussion. Goodbye!
What is the point of anonymity if you can't tell the truth anyway? What is the point of being on here if you are going to hide behind hiding? Vanity? Narscissim. You poor wise person. Lol. Your respect? Why would I care for that? You dont respect yourself enough not to lie to yourself. I pity you moral coward, find peace and happiness and confidence. Love yourself my friend.
@toleratingcomplexity Apparently, you don't understand the meaning of "goodbye!"
That is a long-ass response.
@mrArcher but the original posters post was perfect.
Did you grow up in the south?
@sejla The question was directed at women though, wasn't it?
@mrArcher wasn't sure
@mrArcher Yes, I was born and raised in the South and I am a Southern man.The question gives no indication that it is directed only at women, it is not restricted to allow responses only from females users and, at the moment, more guys than girls (74 vs. 45) have responded.
This isn't just a southern thing is a gentlemen thing. I think that part of good manners is not making the other person uncomfortable when it isn't necessary. By offering to pay but allowing the woman to make the decision to pay or not pay is the best way to do it. Give a person two options means you respect them.
I shouldn't say allowing I should say leaving.
@sejla I think being good mannered means being considerate.
@sejla Yes, you are correct! I am a Southern man but this is just one aspect of being a gentleman and that should have no geographic boundaries.
I’d be perfectly content and happy to do so. If she says this before I do, perhaps I can assume that her views on relationships are similar to mine and she’s not ashamed to express her feelings on this issue. I would assume she has some mutualistic viewpoint on relationships, with the man and woman having a similar power dynamic. Now, I could be wrong in this analysis of course and she could just be doing this in the beginning of the date as a formality of sorts but has different viewpoints on relationships which would make itself more evident the more time I spend with her.
Of course I’d also feel inclined to say “no, it’s fine, I got this” as I’m comfortable paying for the date in full. If I’m on a date with a woman, I assume that I like her and want everything to work out really well, so paying for the date wouldn’t be an issue for me because I want to actually be there with her. Also, I can’t escape the traditional inclination/feeling for the man to pay for the date as well, so there’s that. I think her wanting to split the bill makes it also showcases her equal interest in being with me as well,
No worries. I pay for mine, he pays for his.
There's no option for what I do on a first date, especially I ask HER out. I excuse myself to go to the restroom and find my server or any server. I give them my credit card and tell them NOT to bring a check to the table, just run it and I'll sign it and pick it up on my way out. I'm the man, I pay the bill. Call me old school but that's what I was taught and I'm sticking to it. If we become a couple and start sharing assets or living together, that's another scenario.
Thank you. When are we going to lunch? :)
That’s classy. You rock. I agree with rvy, especially the last part.
@AmandaYVR Thank you Amanda... you're a class act yourself !!
Considering I'm male and the social 'norm' is for me to cover the entire bill:I would respect the hell out of a date wanting to split the bill. That shows to me that they take pulling their own weight seriously and enjoy Independence. Independence and confidence in a mate are things that I look for and really get me interested.
I would split the bill if she was insistent. However, as I had always made more money than my dates, I had always paid for dates. I did this gently, leaving her with dignity. It's just that as I make significantly more money, it makes sense to pay the bill. And I knew that often the girl was not making much money and could ill afford to pay.
Split the bill and date her again because she's shown she's not just after my wallet. Asker, you'll find guys willing to play to your fantasy of you never having to contribute. But you're not going to get enjoyment from life if that's what you want out of it.
And, Asker, what other things do you expect a man to provide to you for free? What value do you feel you contribute back to a man to make his time and money and effort worth it?
There’s nothing wrong on split the bill. Women always say they want to be independent from men but some of them still rely on men to pay the bill. I think that kind of gestures should be equally. If you spilt you split but if you decide to pay next time your partner should pay
Has never happened in my life. I would pay half or the whole thing. But to be truthful I’m not sure about a second date. Even now it a pretty even match, he pays for dinner and i usually sneak the bill for drinks or something else. The men don’t seem offended but pleasantly pleased.
In most cases, the men I've dated were gallant & insisted on paying the restaurant bill. I might wanna go out on another date where I'll insist that it's gonna be my treat. Unfortunately, I've gone out on first dates with guys who annoyed me incredibly. Those were instances when I insisted on paying the entire bill to eliminate every notion of owing the guy anything. So, if I insist on paying the bill & find my own ride home, expect no more contact from me afterwards.
I'll admit it confuses guys.. I'm all in favor for splitting the bill, but I will pay the first couple of daes because I want to avoid having such an awkward conversation and don't know how she percieves other wise ( lose lose situation for men).But for the traditional guys.. I can understand that it could confuse them and they could think that girls aren't interested and only see them as friends. it sucks
Depends on who ordered what, if he ordered a lot and he asks on a first date then no it's not right, if she ordered more then he's being nice covering a part of her bill on a first date. It's my opinion that first dates are on a friend basis as nothing is to be expected other then the fact that the 2 are deciding if they would like to see about "giving it a try" but I don't know, have not dated much...
I'd say "No, I insist" and pay pay the bill myself. Call me "Old Fashion" and "Traditional".
First date? I'd split the bill then he wouldn't hear from me again
Well thanks for saving us both some time and grief
@Malik00 I'd never contact him again either.
Why? Do you feel like you're entitled to a free meal? Besides how does he know you won't just stuff your face with the most expensive food and then just ghost the guy anyway?Think of it as a gesture of good will, a courtesy to show you're here for more then what he can give you. Because if you're not willing to contribute to the relationship now, how is he suppose to expect you to do so later down the line?At that point it's nothing more then a give and take relationship and by that I mean he gives and you take and what does he get? Nothing other then the honor of being in your presence.Bottom line splitting the bill is a sign that you're serious, and if you're so bitter and out paying your fair share, the you're honestly doing the guy a favor by never speaking to him again.You might as well be a prostitute, actually no I take that back, at least a prostitute is upfront with what she wants and what she's willing to do. Girls like you 2 nudniks, will have men spending thousands of dollars on you for a wink and a promise.And I suppose here's the part where you accuse me of being an incel or something asinine like that. Really though, men these days have better things to do then cart around dead weight.Bring something beyond a pretty face and a decent blowjob to the relationship, or dont waste my time.
@Malik00 Good. I avoid men like you. Win win situation.
Then don't ask women out. If I'm invited to something by someone then I don't expect to have to pay. Just like when I invite, then I pay.
@rubyrose83 re: "Just like when I invite, then I pay." - no you don't and we all know it. Bullshit. I'm calling your bluff.
@holograph I don't ask guys out initially, so I'm not paying for a first date. Period. After that, if I invite him somewhere, I have no problem paying. Same with friends, if it's my idea then I'm paying. I usually make more than the guy does anyway
So why should the man pay for you on the first date, again?
@holograph Because he asked!! I didn't go up to him & ask for his time, he asked for mine. It's basic courtesy. If you don't want to pay then don't invite
I don't feel like that's a valid excuse. It's something women started saying specifically because they expect (ed) men to be the ones to ask them out anyway. It was just something they started saying to justify being given things for free. Do you want to meet people and have a good relationship too? If you're saying yes to dates then presumably you feel the answer to that question is also yes. Why not show a man that you're not just after his wallet? You say you tend to make more money than they do so I'm not sure why you stick to the tradition that he should still pay, because you're not following the tradition that he should be making more.
Amen to that
I don't believe you lady. When I asked or am asked by friends (male and female) to go out for drinks and to eat, we pay for our own shit.
@Juxtapose ok, well you don't have to believe me. You do know that not everyone lives their life the same way you do, right? Regardless, a first date is not the same as hanging out with friends. If he asks me out, I don't expect to have to pay. There's a lot of women that follow this rule. End of story.
Avoid men like me too! I'm traditional and generous, but I hate this entitlement you women have. Have fun with guys trying to get in your pants anyway they can. Omit the guys that might be genuine.
@cavmanier I don't have entitlement. It's common sense-if you ask a woman out, you should expect to come up out of your wallet at least initially. I like traditional men and being courted like a lady, so you men that don't understand this wouldn't even qualify. The fact that these 'modern' women let you guys get away with this is baffling! And they can keep trying to 'get in my pants' because that won't happen either. Genuine guys understand courtship.
A guy spending money on you doesn't mean he's genuine. Buying people things is a common manipulation tactic. It's well known in marketing. It's the same reason a company will give a sample. Acting that way tends to make the other person obligated to return a favor. I don't believe a guy should have to persuade women with bribes for her to like him. Somewhat equal reciprocation would be nice. It's bad enough that we have to ask girls out. We have to pay for them, drive them around, say they are great and attractive. I'm not into women using me. A girl has to reflect that interest back at me or she can go back to sitting on online dating and live in her sea of compliments if that's what she's into. It comes off as entitled to me. I don't want a diva.
What makes you think you're anymore entitled to a man's money then he is to yours?Tradition doesn't mean anything, since it is irrational.
@Juxtapose you’re 30 and single. Wonder why?
DreamLivining don't get into insults. It's productive to share ideas in a discussion, but if you start giving insults this all turns into mudslinging instead. I'm fairly newly single too, but have mostly been in a couple long term relationships. Good people can be single or in relationships.I originally though you were asking this question from a guys point of view as if what if a girl asked to split the bill. If a girl asked me to split if, I'd feel refreshed that she would value me enough to not care about needing me to pay. When I saw girls saying they'd not go out with him again, that seemed manipulative of the woman.Now I think you meant if the guy asked the girl to share the bill. I can see how that would be worse, but I still don't think it's that big of a deal. Liking a guy because he'll pay doesn't make sense to me. The question I would ultimately care about is will the relationship always be so one sided? Will the girl always expect to be valued over the guy? For me, I need a woman that is the opposite of that and wants to cherish me as well. I would be happy to dodge a diva.
@cavmanier You’ve been insulting people too. And you’re single because of your attitude.
Na I'm single because I want to. I've always been able to get in relationships quickly if I wanted. My attitude is actually spectacular. You will not meet many guys with better ones. You just don't know me. Whatever you think though. I know how emotional girls can be when they're mad.
Dumb gold digging ho' 🤣🤣
@SpunkNugget Dumb? Yeah, that's why I have my masters. 👌. Men are traditionally the providers. Just because you're incapable of providing even a damn meal doesn't make me a gold digger. I have my own money, house, car, etc. but when asked out I still expect to be treated like a lady. I don't ask for an expensive date, go where YOU can afford.
What do you give to a man in exchange for "treating you like a lady" when you already have everything that he does (or more if one is to believe your own claims)? Let me guess, you grant him your exquisite presence and you feel that's worth any value you expect of him?
@holograph Are you stupid? I'm going to go real slow with this.. When a man asks a woman on a date, he is asking for her time so obviously he thinks that she has something to offer. He is literally asking for my presence. And yes, my presence is worth more than a damn meal.
Imagine being so entitled that you charge people to get to know you.Yikes.
It's not entitlement dumbass, it's the natural order of things. Has been since the beginning of time.
You frame a guy asking a girl out as if it's a bribe. I am more interested in finding the right person than influencing her to be around me with money (biggest turn off ever). That's all bad from the start. The reality is this is the system we have to work with because of tradition giving women these expectations. It reminds me of giving a woman's family cows to marry her. Her love is dependent of material resources.
I usually offer to split the bill anyways. If I disliked the date I will want to split it to not feel like I owe him something and never see each other again. If I liked the guy, it does give him bonus points in my head if he offers to pay (because who doesn't like generosity in a partner) but if he doesn't I will be a bit worried that he didn't enjoy the date. Yet overall if won't have much of an effect on me wanting or not wanting to see him again.
I understood that this question is heavily targeted at women cause you did not give the option: insist on covering the whole bill, that many guys might have chosen lol.
I never expect people to propose that. I would say "when I have, we have; maybe some day I won't, but today I do". And if she insists, I would let her do so. I don't believe its necessary to men pay up debts, specially if both have incomes. Once some girl I met paid for the whole meal, because she insisted, and I thought that was cute and generous.
I'd split the bill, obviously.Regardless of who asked whom, this date happened under the consent of both individuals.It's about getting to know each other and spending time together.. Going on a date just for free food would be quite ridiculous to begin with.However, if the whole thing started with the words "Hey. Mind if I invite you to *insert some random ass place*" then that's a different story.
Toss my card on the tray and just tell the server, "separate checks." If that is a "shit test" on her part, she hust fucked herself out of dinner on me... and if that was a shit test, I hope I failed because I do not wish to see her again because testers never stop.
I would get up and leave and proceed to never speak to them again
@cavmanier i know;)
Yo, imagine being considerate for once in your life. It's splitting the bill 50/50 you broke ass.
I have a trust fund hun, im far from broke. But you men seem to be if thats what id even call y'all. “Men” actually pay, so I don't know what yalls word is. 💋✌️
How about you actually be considerate and kind for once in your life you selfish leech? So what if a man wants to pay only for his food? This is a different generation, a different era, you need to learn that.
Anyways im bored with you. My leagues not poor trash so you wouldn't even be in my vision range., so you're good. No need to argue boo boo❤️✌️
I won't date a woman that won't split. I befriend the girl I'm interested first and then when I figure out if she's willing to split or not is when I decide if I'm going to friendzone her or ask her out. And let me tell ya, works like a charm! My current girlfriend absolutely refused to let me pay for her when we first started dating. Now that we've been together for some time we take turns paying.
Split the bill, I kind of prefer a woman who does not expect me to pay for everything, not saying I would not treat her sometimes, but I would also like if she would treat me sometimes as well, and us treating eachother would simply be us being nice to each other, not because either of us expected it.
Each person should pay their own way on the first date. If she doesn't agree then I know she is just a sexist gold digging whore that wants a free meal/entertainment.Then if there are more dates after they can take turns paying. Just because she is a woman doesn't mean she should get a free ride in life. Only feminist cunts think like that.
Cool! It shows he’s a cheapskate. Win win! I wouldn’t call him back.
It shows she is sexist and thinks she should have privileges just for being female. Women like that are immoral greedy whores. Literally. they are dating someone because of the financial benefits.
@DreamLivining And you're showing that you're a cheapskate. You not calling someone back would be a win.
Men who call women whores are immoral. I’d weed out men like you.
"Only feminist cunts think like that." Actually the Bible says that men should provide for all the food & all other needs of their wives (Exodus 21:10, Eph 5:28-29). (& Yes, she submits to his benevolent/selfless leadership.)
@DreamLivining Actually the definition of a whore is someone that does sexual stuff for financial gain, which is exactly what they are doing if they only date others that pay for them.And what, you aren't a cheapskate by not paying at all and expecting everything to be provided for you? lol You are both stupid and a whore.
split the bill. He is not obliged to pay for my lunch just because he is a man. Requiring him to pay really shows how little money you have to pay your own meal.
Id be the date that says to split the bill, I prefer to. I like not having to worry about what to get because its to expensive. I got my own money that I work hard for, I don't need to know he can afford me or anything.
Not complain, pay my half, and most likely not call him back.
Same lol 👍
Gold diggers these days are so brazen!
Don't threaten me with a good time.
@Juxtapose I'm not a gold digger, but it's a date that you asked me on. You should pay. If I pay for myself then it wasn't a date.
When I go out with friends, we pay for our own food. Adding a potentially sexual aspect to a relationship shouldn't change the financial nature of it unless it is prostitution.And I'm going to take a guess here and say that you have never asked out a guy and paid for his food.
If you accept going on a date with a guy, that means you both want to get to know each other better, right? You shouldn't accept going on a date for free food. If me wanting to get to know you better is worth me paying for you, then you accepting the date and wanting to get to know me better is worth you paying for you, isn't it? Men that want to split the bill aren't (necessarily) cheapskates; they want to double check that you're not going to use them to get free meals. We literally see conversations on Facebook with our female friends/acquaintances where they talk about using men on dates for a free meal. I've seen it discussed on FB myself. We don't want that to be happening to us. So we want you to pay your share if you have a job. It's not like, if you don't go on the date, you're going to be eating for free. And personally I would never go to an expensive restaurant on a first date anyway. This is the modern male perspective. We've had to adapt our behavior because of the women who use us.
If he asks if he can hang out at your house, he should pay part of your rent or mortgage for that month then too I bet.
If I was a woman and a guy asked me to split the bill I'd split it but his cheap ass would never ever hear from me again
@DreamLiving What the hell is wrong with men these days how do you go out with a woman and not want to pay. Then they say ifs not about the money I mean seriously how much I'd dinner maybe 50 to 100 dollars and that on the high side cause I live in NYC
Men these days are wusses.
I'm just shocked women let these dudes get away with this nonsense. Nothing worse that a cheapass dude then he's looking to get some on top of being cheap asf lol
Why do I get the feeling you're a some upper class white women from Beverly Hills or something cause it just baffles me that any normal woman could genuinely be such an entitled princess these anymore.
Again if I'm gonna be paying that much money anyway, I might as well just hire a hooker
@Malik00 Who me?
He’s talking about me lol
No the Original Poster. For you all I can say is machismo is... so 60s. Your self worth is determined by way more then a womans approval of you and I will never understand how some men can still trust so hard to be this stoic overly masculine archetype of a man when, for all your bluster you have nothing to show for it at the end of the day?Call me whatever you want, I simply don't have the patience for women who insist on being weak.
Well I wouldn't want to hear from your entitled ass in that case, anyway. What else would you use me for with such a stupid attitude? Some of the women in this thread are saying they make more than the guys they date, but still expect the guy to buy them food. How much do you have to hate men to think those two statements go well together? Yeesh.
Its amazing isn't it? How much of a superiority complex can you have to be making 6 figures and still expect the part time shmuck to pay for everything?
Looks like we are gonna have a problem 😂😂
You'll see 😉Basically I'd go halves with my so. If he got my meal I'd get something else. Whether it be gas for the car or toll. Whatever.
You can get something but only if you want to not cause you have to cause the so called man doesn't want to pay. You feel me?
Yes. I got you
I would pay for the portion I ate. I wouldn't split the bill down the middle unless we shared some plates. . I eat pretty simply and not usually the most expensive things on a menu.
It’s funny how some women replied, “Split the bill and never see him again.” What kind of an ego is this? What makes you so special? If you wouldn’t even pay for your own god damn food, why are you even dating someone? If the guy is volunteering to pay, it’s fine but he is NOT supposed to. He can. Over centuries, men are expected to support women emotionally and now financially too?
Lol, two girls downvoted. Hoes mad.
Say, “honey, it’s going to cost you way more than that to get me into bed.”
Assuming she didn't ask me out on some extremly expensive date of her own making and after wants me to chip in.
I would split the bill. I don't care about all this nonsense. People that are straightforward with me have my respect. If she asks to split it, then I think that in and of itself is respectable, commendable, and thoughtful.
Some of my dates if we feel like going to someplace more fancy and can't afford it, we pool our money for it. I mean this was like 4th or 5th date not first. I refer cooking for my SO tbh, its fun, show off my skill, and its more personal like.
I would offer to pay. However, quite a few women these days love to use dating as a free meal ticket because they inherently have a heavy spending nature but want to spend the money at the man's expense. Many of these women firmly claim to want equal rights but prefer traditionalism in this situation and none of the responsibilities that comes with either. It is very easy to get walked on as a man if you don't set your solid boundaries.
Split the bill. I really don't see a problem here. Is he supposed to pay for everything for me?
Yes he's supposed to pay for gas money if you drive and when he comes over to your place he should prorate a day for your power, rent and cable bill if you turn the tv on. (sarcasm)
My last boyfriend asked me to split the bill on our first date and I high key shouldn’t have dated him.
Indeed. You should have done him the favor of not having to deal with your entitlement at all.
@holograph well in a way yes. He wanted a much more independent woman and I’m a stage 4 clinger.
That is an understandable reason for sure.
You shouldn't have dated lots of guys that will pay.
@cavmanier guys that pay like the clingy emotionally dependent type which is me. Guys who don’t want to pay don’t need to worry about that because the independent girls will like them and they are more compatible.
I'm super dedicated to a girl in a relationship. I like the idea of paying (not just on first dates) because I like to be generous to people I like. I'm always asking my neighbors if they want to try a new food or helping them with their broken stereos or whatever, but a girl not wanting to see me because I didn't pay for her entitled asses food is unattractive. I don't want a diva. Humbleness is one of the most attractive qualities. I hate users.
@cavmanier that’s cool. You got a woman that is compatible with you. Wish y’all the best.
No I'm not with someone right now, but I meant that's how I am in a relationship. The idea of men having to pay just seems so dumb to me. I don't know why it has to matter so much. It's so insignificant yet so many women won't date men because of it.
@cavmanier I personally think it’s somewhat based on personality or maybe just individual ideas or something? Some guys sort of get off on paying for women and some women enjoy that. But other women actually dislike that and want to pay for themselves. So in my mind it’s just a matter of finding the right person. Maybe the gold digger types are just more vocal about it? But I don’t think they’re the majority. I’ve heard a lot of women who are super into being independent.
I don't think girls wanting that are necessarily gold diggers. It definitely encompasses those money lovers in it's group, but I see a lot of women that want men to pay feel that way because they think it shows the guy likes them and that if the guy doesn't, he sees her as low value. That's fine. What bothers me is women that don't want to give. Women tend to expect so much from a man when courting. They want to use the leverage they have due to social norms or whatever it is that makes men flood women with attention in the beginning. I prioritize a girl that is good at showing me that I'm important too, but the whole dating dynamic is set to put make the girl feel that way. I want to see a girl do that early on, and will not try to use money as a way to get a girls attention. I see guys as doing whatever they can to get women in the beginning as begging pussies personally. I need a girl to show interest in me too or I'll stay single. I don't want to have to bribe them with money either.
@cavmanier yeah that makes total sense. I think certain personalities are especially wary of being used as well. And certain people are really interested in fairness for example. My ex was more that way but that’s not how I think. So I realized I need to be with more emotional mushy types instead of super logical types. Because I feel these issues were not just about money but money was an aspect of the overall problem. He wasn’t willing to invest enough time in the relationship for me to be happy for example. He was extremely independent so I prefer a more clingy type.
Good luck on finding emotionally mushy men lol. You might as well get a netflix account and have a fake marriage in the romance section.How much mushiness do you need?I can understand what you mean about needing more time. Are you affection in terms of wanting a certain amount of touch / cuddling / sex? Don't feel pressured into talking about sex if you don't want to. I'm just curious. I was with one girl that had low levels of wanting touch and sex and it was not for me!! Or are you looking for more mushy words or just a feeling of being liked or something?
@cavmanier physical affection is definitely important. We were also not super sexually compatible. I think it’s difficult to strike a balance between the proper amount of mushiness and toughness. Honestly I don’t think I’m really relationship material anyway because I’ve dated very different types of guys and never been really happy. But I like being friends with guys.
Thankfully I haven't give up home. I think I have a lot of good to offer. The hard part is finding the right compatibility in a partner. You girls are so passive. To really find someone, it's much more likely to happen by taking initiative. You girls all want it to just drop on your laps though.
I'm always prepared to pay, if they wanted to split it wouldn't be a big deal
if the girl does that, that's her ticked for a second date with me. i'll still try to pay though unless she's very adamant about it.
Most of the time I pay the bill myself unless she asks for a split so if they want that, we'll do it.
I'll pay for what I buy and she does the same. That's how it is, until things get serious between us.
BRUH, TWO GIRLS DOWNVOTED. POOR ASS, BROKE ASS, UGLY ASS HOES.
@SwordShield I'm not even surprised. Probably those "feminists" shouting "equality" all the time, except when equality isn't in their favor.
Yes, the feminists... The ones going for an "equality" where only men get in the US draft and men have to front bills all the time.
Reap everything by making out that you are going for a good cause. Truly the perpetrator is greed, isn't it?
Well... I would have to do the whole bill any ways becouse I ain't gonna be in a relationship boyooo
Well what do ya know. Women want to be treated as equals to men, but of course only when it's convenient for them 😏
would of found out a long time vefore the date an know so wouldn't be surprised an be fine if told me in beginning cuz some are on tight budgets
I dont understand what the big deal is in complying with such a simple ask? You want to split the bill 100/2? Fine cool whatever. Maybe I am missing something.
I’d split the bill. I’d split the bill even if he didn’t ask. I’m capable of paying for my own food, if he offers to pay then sure but I’m not going to expect him to pay lmao.
but what would you try to put money down before he does.. or wait for him to make a move?
When we’re finishing up then I’d put my money down, I’d pay for my half the same way I pay for my half when I’m out with friends. Waiting for him to make a move is just assuming he’s going to pay.
It can come off as her not enjoying herself and not wanting another date. It’s rare for girls to ask to split the bill (with me). I’ve had “girlfriends” pay for meals when we went out but not dates.
I am Italian we pay for a date we don't split the bill
I believe "splitting" the bill means splitting it in half, right? Well, if I was being frugal I wouldn't want to split a bill with someone who was going all out. I'm not into the wealth redistribution bullshit. That system is just ripe for abuse.
I would have no problems with that. It sounds fair to me.
Women still think "man should pay the pill."? It's nonsense. Everyone pays for themselves. Come on it's 21st century!
I would split but I am always the first one to offer to pay.
I’ll never contact him ever again. What man expects a woman to pay?
Split the bill.Both parties should equally want to see eachother on a date. No one owes or should be expected to pay.
I scream:YOU FAT S**T. I ORDER ONE CHEESE BURGER AND YOU 48 NUGGETS REEEEEEEEEE
Before the date, we’ll plan that ahead of time. If I pay for my food and he pays for his, that’s fine.
I asked my man out I paid I have no problem paying.
Female downvote there... love it... You're ruining the system for asker by being a reasonable person! lol
Bruh, you paid for your man? That's actually really nice for you to do, you are a good and considerate person.
Yea I work the downvote mean she for sale.
I'd split the bill but make sure he didn't have fillet steak if I had a kiddies portion lol xxx
I honestly wouldn’t care. Besides, it would help my date save more money
Well if it's my current boyfriend, he or I take turns paying. If it's some random date, I might be irked on the inside, but I wouldn't create drama and either split it or not, but I might not see that guy again.
Why would he have to pay for you and your boyfriend doesn't? I don't get that.
I would have respect for her because she actually showed she's willing to contribute and doesn't want to coast on female privilege.For all of you women who think you are entitled to a man's money for whatever reason, shame on you!
lol rubyrose83 blocked me!
As someone without a lot of money, I'd be relieved.
Usually I won't accept splitting the bill & will pay the bill in full. I will never let my girl pay a single penny.
Depends are we in a relationship or on a first date?
I'm srry but if your not open to splitting then in my opinion u are basically using them for free food in that case shame on u
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