Guys: Would you date a girl who has a child? Why? or Why not?

My friend met this guy and they started dating. But as soon as he found out that she has a child, he completely shut her out of his life. So I wonder, is it a deal breaker when the girl has a child?


Most Helpful Guy

  • just like you gals each ones different guys react differenty in situations also . below is something I posted on a like question else where here but is applicable here as well I hope something in it will encourage your friend assumming you'll share it with her.

    for some reason I landed on this page with a lot of the same question as you've posted lol

    let me tell some don't mind at all , for example I'm one, my wife and I have been together now for 40 yrs. she had a 1 year old daughter at the time I met her 6 months latter we were married. had two more daughters . have 5 grandkids 4 boys and and a girl whose the youngest at present.

    i think what I put here says it all on your questions. you said you wanted honest answers why or why not ,below is just food for thought take it for what its worth but*ts from my heart.

    i know what I'm about to say on this is not popular thought in most girls in your age group (18-24)

    the next guy chose from a differenttype guy than what your ex: was.

    most likely he was one of the following types of a type.

    he was controlling

    maybe abusive word or physical

    cheated (which also includes lieing(sp))

    he was either a jock popular guy / badboy type / a player / or just a plain jerk all share some if not all of the above traits and more (negative type traits that is)

    well what type of guy should you choose then?

    well I was back in the 1960's girls would discribe me as "that nice sweet guy with the wavy hair"

    ya, I was one of those nice guys that got over looked in high school by girls because I had the nice guy qualities. and we all know how girls in the age bracket of (14-24) what they think and feel about nice guys .

    LOL ...

    but consider this girls/women by the time they reach 25 or older (some maybe younger if smart)

    realize that the nice guys weren't such a bad deal all along. most of these guys haven't as a rule changed one iota from when they were in high school.these women 25 and older also state on line and encourage younger women not to make the same mistakes they did and love their geeky nerdy sweet nice shy quiet guys to pieces

    yet its also a proven fact that these same guys are better fathers, husbands ,and providers . also 95% of the time they do not cheat on their partners (they maybe at times cheated on but its rare)

    you ask for honest answers to your questions , these are I know pretty expliet answers and detailed to a degree. yet I posted my expierence on this and I am a nice guy which wound upo with a wonderful women to boot. is our life a fairy tale far from it we have our ups and downs in this relationship but we work them out.

    hopefully my post has been of some help to you make some wise choices this next time with a guy.


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What Guys Said 7

  • For me, yeah, it kind of is.

    I tried it once, and it was an unmitigated disaster. Enough to put me off it for life, anyway.

    The girl *has* to think of the child first, and it changes the whole relationship dynamic, preventing it from ever really becoming a fun and flirty type of thing, but throwing it straight into serious territory. With the added sword of damocles hanging above your head, that you also potentially have the childs feelings to worry about, if they're old enough to recognise you and become attached to you.

    It's just too damn difficult.

    • I'm pretty sure it's different in every situation. The girl doesn't necessarily need to force the guy to be a part of the child's life specially when they are only dating. The guy shouldn't take on the responsibility of the child. If it gets serious then it should be up to the guy whether to involve himself in the child's life.

  • I want to start a family pretty soon, but I want to have my own kids. I would date a girl that already had a kid, but if she wants me to fill the daddy role then she better not get upset if I have an opinion or try to discipline the kid ...I'm either all in or I'm out.

    • Well this guy that I'm taking about still goes to school, has a job, and still has a lot of things going on in his life. Also, he is not ready for a kid yet because he said so himself.

  • If I were able to support one, sure, why not? I'm 18 and in college right now and have no reliable income. I probably won't until after I graduate. It is probably a deal breaker for me right now, but It wouldn't be a deal breaker to me after that point.

  • depends on the guy. more often than not I'd say it is tho.

  • It is not necessarily a deal breaker for me if she has a child. If she is considerably younger (like 19 years old) than I and has a child, I won't try to pursue a relationship. However, if I do date a girl with a child, I agree with Camilus. I'm either all in or all out. If it gets serious, and especially if we end up getting married, I will treat him/her like he/she is my son/daughter.

    For most guys, though, the answer will probably be that it's a deal breaker.

  • Honestly I've recently been thinking of trying to date a single mom over a girl with no kids (I don't have any kids). Seems like MOST (not all) girls who have kids are more ''down to Earth'' and responsible (again, not all are).

    I think I would only be open to a girl has one kid. And as long as she can get someone to watch the kid so we can go on dates.

    And she better not be looking for a sugar daddy or anything like that.

  • No. Way too serious of a thing at my age (college student). I don't plan to have kids for at least 8-10 years so that's making me realize what my life is gonna be like eventually and right now I'm in party-mode (immature if you will).


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