Have An Opinion?
For a first relationship, that’s pretty rough. I don’t deny that one can develop feelings for someone overseas or in another country, but it the pure logistics make it hard to keep a LDR going, especially at your age when you have neither the funds and/or potentially the freedom to fully pursue the relationship.My opinion on LDRs is that they can work out, but ONLY if you have a clear cut plan of when y’all can get together in person. In other words, it should be a temporary thing. If you go into an LDR with only a vague-at-best idea of when y’all can meet, it typically follows a cycle of...1. Feelings are initially strong. Thoughts of “we’ll power through! We’re not like the other people that it didn’t work out with!”2. Feelings are strong but thoughts of “this is hard” pop up. Attempts to keep relationship going through more calls, and sometimes sexting or other means. Sometimes it redefines the relationship for better or worse.3. One side either feels bored, one side gets feelings for another, or one side just gets too frustrated. (I.e. seeing couples daily and feeling jealous.) Communication starts to fall apart and contact becomes less frequent. It becomes more and more like a burden.4. Eventual breakup as things stagnate. Heartbreak. The works.Why? You have no goals then. There is nothing to look forward to in the relationship to keep things strong. Thus, the relationship stagnates and collapses on itself when the initial passion wears off.The problem with an out-of-country LDR is that the process complicates further. I had a friend who had an LDR with a dude from Norway. The paper work took a loooong time to complete for transfer to the US. It was made purposely hard because of couples who use marriage as a free pass into the US. Moving to a different country is neither easy nor cheap. The reason it worked out for them was because the guy had enough money to make 2-week trips out on occasion, and she had her own place to accommodate him.——Bottom line:Overall, I’d suggest against it until you’re more financially stable/independent and have the power to decide where to allocate funds for this. It’s not the answer that I’m guessing you want to hear, but that’s my view on it.
Not the one I wanted to hear but the one I was guessing I'd get, it's reasonable. Thanks for the input
Beginning a relationship as an LDR is probably a mistake regardless of distance and prior experience.
Thanks for MHO!
I'm currently in a long distance relationship and have been for 3 years. He can't come visit me because of visa restrictions so I have to make all the trips. I try to see him every 2 -3 months. Its great! We get to live our lives alone and have a great social life. Nobody will be jealous because you spent all your time with your SO. Also, when we do see eachother its all rainbows and butterflies. Because we value our time together so much more. Lastly, you learn to develop great communication skills. We only have our video calls and texts to communicate so we've mastered it basically lol. You get to know eachother on an emotional level because for long periods of time there is No phyisical contact.I will say though, there needs to be a huuuuuge amout of trust because you can only take eachothers word for it. But statistically people aren't more likely to cheat in a ldr than if they werent. I believe that if someone wants to cheat they will whether they are 500 miles away or live in your house.Goodluck
Its not bad. Just takes lots of effort and comminication. One of my almost bfs from Brazil, he put in a fair amount of effort with communication but the trust was lacking after a month or so. He was doing things he shouldn't have been. And i honestly never questioned the trust until he confessed and i did my research. The other guy in Germany, we had trust but communication was lacking. His prioriities were in a diff order from mine but we both had the same endgoal. Long run, just didn't work. He struggled with distance but i didn't. The guy in Australia, well, we just had different sexual desires. And the one in Denmark just lacked certain motivation that i needed for him to have. All great guys but different mindsets. So distance didn't ruin 3 out of 4 of those. Different interests did. So i hope y'all at least make ends meet
Omg i love this! so cool!👍❤️
@SexyAshh thanks. It was good while it lasted But yea im not tryna do anymore of this 😂 i hate for my guy to even be in another state at this point
Yes Yes Yes unless you have a ton of money to fly and see each other then it’s not recommended!
I tried that one time - I got ghosted after 8 years but I didn't care - at that point - I also lost interest in him - we didn't date at all but the reason I started messaging him was I had fantasies about dating him one day.
If neither of you have ever dated before, I think it's fine for you to be friends, but it's unrealistic to be unable to spend real life time with each other. You won't get a RL dating experience: be able to go out and talk in person, attend events, hang out, introduce each other to friends and family. There is always a small chance this could work out without seeing each other like normal couples do. But it will take an awful lot of groundwork, facetime/skyping. I'm not sure how satisfied you'll be without personal contact.
Well it depends. You have to look into the future. Can you see yourself marrying this person? Would you sacrifice your future for this person? Would you move and leave you friends and family? If the answer is yes then go for it. I am in a LDR. Roughly 2500 km keeping us apart. But I have the money to fly to see him so we manage to see each other once every 1-2 months. But for me it’s all worth it. In a LDR you have to think much more in advance then in a normal relationship. You can’t be really spontaneous, or do the “relationship on probation” thing, you just have to go all in and invest your time and money into the relationship from the very beginning. It’s up to you to decide if you and the other person are ready for this kind of commitment. Also there needs to a a huge amount of trust between you two in order for it to work.
Not a bad idea in my opinion. But you both have to be really serious about each other, and have plans to meet up at some point soon (just a visit is fine). You might also want to prepare for a discussion about which of you will eventually move to be with the other. I think a LDR is a great test of a couple's commitment, and everyone should experience it. But there must always be a sense of progress in the relationship (it's over if you let it stagnate). There should always be a goal to eventually be together when possible, and frequent communication in the meantime.
Not at your age and your parents don't know them. They could be a catfish. LDR can work when you already known each other and such. You don't need dating experience. It's not about experience when it comes to dating. But whether or not both of you are old enough to make adult decisions. We do not know your age, and you probably soon way too young to be thinking about dating especially if marriage and children besides sex is off the table. You have the challenges of dating as it were if both of you are juts 3 miles apart. But it will be tougher. So be the one to ask your parents or guardian in charge.
Yessssss. I’m in a long distance relationship with someone that lives on the opposite side of the US. The flights already are incredibly long. I couldn’t imagine having to take a flight double that if he lived in another country. It would be worth it still I guess but a 9-11 hour flight one way is exhausting and expensive. I mean unless I lived in Rochester NY, and he lived in Niagara Falls Canada. But I think that’s cheating because you can easily drive that. TLDR: Yes. It’s a bad idea. Especially if you guys don’t have any dating experience.
The ultimate goal of a LDR is to close the distance by meeting up in person. If couples can't meet up, then it's pointless continuing the relationship. The basis of a LDR is online communication, and that's not enough to maintain a healthy, loving lasting relationship. Relationships can't thrive and survive long-term without meeting up in person on a regular basis. It's more to difficult maintain trust and interest if two people can't meet up regularly.
I’m currently in a LDR with a guy, and when I say long distance I mean farrr... he lives in Europe and I live in Australia. Most of the men I’ve had any kind of relationship with live across the world and this is because I find it easier to open up to a person on the internet rather than in person. So yes, LDR do have its perks, one being that you have the chance to get to know someone on a deeper level than you would in person. But there are many disadvantages to it too, one being trust. In my case, I let my boyfriend know that I have no problem with him sleeping with other women as I’m not physically there. So basically, depending on your arrangement and commitment to the relationship, it may or may not be successful.
LDR never works!Unless one of you move closer like tomorrow.Why people even have this dylusion?Just, think you will talk over Skype until you die? Wtf?No hugs, no chemistry, no energy or whatever you call it now..I once waisted 8 weeks with girl talking over phone, I had no chance to get out of job.When I met her it was instant NOOO! Yes I seen pics before and all that, I loved everything, but when I seen her there was no chemistry,... And she just were different person in reality...And this is just one example.
Yes because it seems better at distance because we can project our creative minds and fantasize and perfect the other. When in reality, they are a human being with flaws. Add to it, they may not be honest, so many issues. just not good. but we all have to live and learn. <18 I say no way...If there is family knowledge of them, then maybe.
Ldr needs to have a different meaning behind them😢 they need to mean looking for love but not a commitment , then it's perfect you get to have your girlfriend during the phone calls or video chat you get to enjoy the talks and not have to worry about the other crap living with one brings or having one close
Long distance relationships as a whole are a bad idea, because unless you can somehow make it a point to regularly see each other, it's inevitably going to fall apart.Adding national barriers isn't necessarily a bad thing on its own, but it will make the aforementioned issue much more complicated, and if things get more serious, there will be a lot more barriers and a lot more potential for being exploited.
Yes. It's probably a bad idea. Especially at such a young age. You should be with someone who can attend school dances and go on proper dates with you regularly. In a few years, if youve decided that there is no one right for you in your local area, then you might want to consider a LDR. But give yourself a chance to experience your teenage years with someone who can be physically present.
I've done it, and have no regrets, although she did move to my city after about a year of dating (we visited each other several times despite being countries apart). I think any LDR needs an "end date" to the long distance part of the equation. I couldn't be in a *permanently* long distance relationship. Frankly, I think I only have it in me to have done LDR the first time round. Doing all that again with some new girl seems like more strain than it's worth-- although like I say, I have no regrets about that first experience, as it helped make me the man I am today.
Its fine if one of you have the money for travel. My current boyfriend dosnt live in state but he has the finances to have bought a loft where i live when he comes down, or he flies me where he lives. If you like freedom and hold communication daily as well it works.Being under age though im assuming the only thing y'all will have is communication. I dont see that working.
It is generally not a good idea unless you two have a plan and time frame for one of you to move eventually. Otherwise it is just a waste of time. And get to know them very well, visit them, and figure out what kind of life you may have in the other country realistically.
I would with my current girlfriend. We're both in it together for the long haul. But I've known her for a while. If you haven't even met the person and spent at least a year with them, then I'd say it's a bad call that will leave you feeling unsatisfied and guilty that you feel that way.
I once flew a longstanding female friend I met gaming online out to come enjoy the weekend with me at a nice hotel. Was one of the better decisions I've made, we hooked up and are still friends. But both of us agreed that a lasting relationship wouldn't work, we both have obligations.
It's a bad idea if you really don't have the resources to see each other. An LDR has to end, the sooner the better. If it goes for long it will end in a mess.I rather the old school dating. With an LDR you will never know for sure what's going on in the other person life.
I was in a transatlantic relation. We had 7-8 hrs difference. Even though we clicked online, it was too damn complicated.
It could be difficult, but I say try it. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be. In the end, things will get better, and as long as you are willing to fight for the relationship, you guys will work your way through some very tough times and always land back on your feet. Go for it, as long as you are willing to cut your knees a little.
It's only bad in the sense that it suggests you're undesirable in person, you stay in this environment for years and can't find a mate so you have to date someone from another country which relies on an image you built on the internet. This is very inconvenient and things might not go the way you want when you actually meet.
Yaaaaaa, I got into one with an aussie chick. Just kinda turned out to be sexting and nudes. Had a few calls and made fun of eachother accents but she was like 36 so we were at a huge age gap too.
It depends on how willing you are on making it work. There's definitely really hard times, especially when it comes to being apart for so long. I'm in one and we're definitely making it work. She's gonna move to my country so we can be together without having to say bye.
Currently doing it. Although we both relatively live close to the border. It's not easy but you make it work. Schedule time to see each other. For a first relationship it's hard, but in my opinion totally worth it
Not but you should always keep in mind that anyone of you can meet someone irl at any moment and thats always going to be more powerful stimuli than the ldr if the person it happens to find the person they newly met interesting/attractive.
Think it may be difficult for you since you’re so young.
No a great idea if you haven't met in person first before doing LDR
Not necessarily.. but it could be a very difficult thing if it’s your first.
Damn a whole other country? That’s hard. I wouldn’t do it
Short distance relationships are hard enough. Adding the element of a long distance doesn't help. Shop locally.
Y'all call it LDR, I call it a pen pal without benefits. Its nice to have friends, but I wouldn't get my hopes up that this will turn into a lasting relationship.
Not really unless you never get to go abroad or you just rack up Int'l rates. Other than that, what could it possibly hurt
There is only one way to look at it and that's enjoy each other's company a be greatfull you met unless marriage is in the equation it's over in a year tops. I just had the pleasure of dealing with this situation. 😔
You're under 18. So yes. You have no money and aren't an adult so you cannot see each other.
I would stay friends but no relationship, it would be too frustrating to never see her, have body contact with her and enjoy the day with her.
At your age it might be, I was (sort of) in one when I was younger, but we knew we had to wait years to ever see each other in person so we ended it
No, it not a bad idea, am in a relationship with a guy from another country and we are making it work
When I was 18-23, i had a LDR in Sweden, Canada, and Australia. By the time I was 25, I had some in California, Arizona, and Maine.
Yes, probably. Unless it's like England and Scotland.
No. But there has to be a real cut plan to meet each other if it is to last.
Yes, and it's very likely to fail, especially at your age.
I think males have issues with it more than females, as they won't be able to get their precious sex.
It's a bad idea to get into a LDR with someone that lives in your own country!
Yes because you may never meet and it won't lead to anything.
Besides I'm a 10/10 for most Indian guys while the trailer trash pigs are severely underrating me only because I have the Indian tag. I did a heritage scan and my face looks like I'm from eastern Europe but I have the Indian tag so they won't stop barking nonsense on my replies. Also this is me without any surgeries or expensive skincare or makeup products.
I don't even own half the products that many "1st worlders: have.
Quiet a bit of problems with this and it's not for everyone.
If one of you puts more effort into the relationship than the other it will very quickly become obvious and probably cause resentment.
Ldr in long term run makes no sense as we always tend to kiss and hug so... Meet ups have to be done often
From personal experience, I would tell you DON'T DO IT!
Maybe if meets each other every 6 month I think it be possible.
LDR in general NEVER WORKS. find a man in your country.
I think it's a beautiful idea worth trying, life without madness would be boring
If you really love him and would feel no regret if it didn’t work out, go for it
You're not even eighteen and you want to get into the long-distance relationship with somebody from another country
it* I mean
Yeah, kinda. Sometimes you really connect with somebody you meet online.
The perfect exercise in futility.
Yes.LDR's pretty much never work period.
It 90% of the time ends in tears just saying
No it's not life is to EXPERIENCE
No, it's a great idea.
No, I'll be flying out to Colorado soon
You cannot undo this action. The opinion owner is going to be notified and earn 7 XPER points.