As a future father, what kind of man would you allow your 20 year old daughter to date?

[nightdrot]

My answer is entirely reasonable - here is the part where my girlfriend, the mother of my three children, rolls her eyes.

My little princess will wear frilly little dresses, play with her dolls and read Louisa May Alcott and think her Daddy is the greatest man on Earth for the next... oh...20 years should be about right. At which point, or at any point between now and then, the instant she shows any interest in modern music or modern boys it will be off to a thick walled convent on a high mountaintop overlooking a distant valley in a remote region of Bulgaria.

Oh, and her older brothers will provide the muscle I need to ward off any playground suitors who come along. I am seeing to it that her brothers have martial arts training even as we speak.

So ---- that solves THAT problem. (Now you see why my girlfriend is rolling here eyes. She has to do that a lot with me.)

[coachTanthony]

Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him.

[Davis04]

I’m 21 now but I’m pretty open with my dad about my dating life... he respects my decisions and I always go to him for advice. I never go to my mom because she’s so strict (LOL, you would expect a mother to be more understanding but it’s completely the opposite with my parents). My dad’s more open minded and gives the best advice from a “men’s perspective” of things.
I remember when I was ranting and ended up crying to my dad about this one guy I dated and his response was so calm... he said “If he respects you and treats you right... then that’s all that matters”. Best believe I left that dude a few days after because even though my dad didn’t say it... he knew I deserved better.

[WispyThought]

As a 2o year old woman, I appreciate my dad showing concern in the type of men I would be interested in, as his child I know he only wants the best for me and is looking out for me. With saying that, I would also appreciate him allowing me to make my own mistakes and guiding me to find the right person in my life. Its all about guidance, help, and comfort, not aggressively disagreeing with the type of man she is seeing. The best man is the one that fits her perfectly, one that cares and loves her unconditionally, saying that, it takes a certain level on maturity to understand and be capable of those emotions, another important aspect is stability and passion.

[Kronx]

A "good husband" type of guy. He's gotta be like me and not at the same time. Dependable and have a clear vision on his future in a positive way. He's gotta be someone I don't have to worry about when it comes to drugs or anything that could make my daughter ruin her own self respect. Basically someone that will keep my daughter an angel still in my eyes. I'll admit I wouldn't want to see her with any man but it's inevitable. I'm strict on myself when it comes to dating so if my daughter dates someone, she and I will have to come to compromise when the issue arrives.

[AynonOMouse]

Straight, White, Hispanic, or Asian, not a drug user, has not fathered any kids with anyone else, not a criminal, works, doesn't drink alcohol, and never cheated on anyone in the past. (Their past matters) Would fight to defend her and their future kids if needed. (He doesn't have to be very strong, etc. but has to be willing to try)
I myself match all of these, but I wouldn't expect someone to be as good as me, but they should at least match these.

Also I'd want him to agree that ever Sunday she gets to come back to my house so I get time with her each week.

[HaveNoName]

Ideally, we do not date in our culture just for the sake of dating. Only if you plan to get married, then you can spend time together to get to know each other. That does not mean a physical relationship and that does not make you a "couple". But if marriage was not on the cards, it has to stop. Thankfully, my daughter is fully aware and appreciative of those values and thoroughly sticks by those values.

Nevertheless, to get my blessing, he will have to be professionally educated, settled with a professional job and from a good decent and respectable family of the same culture and religion. That is how it has normally happened for generations.

[LesterJester]

If I had a 20 year old daughter, I wouldn't have any criteria because she'd be a grown ass adult capable of making her own choices and her own mistakes... And she would have moved out of my house by the age of 18, just as my parents did to me.

Sure my parents had opinions about my girlfriends but they never demanded I stop seeing someone or give me ultimatums because it wasn't their place to tell me what to do anymore.

If they're happy together and it's not abusive, I couldn't give AF.

[xkildy]

That's easy, a man with a job , a man with ideas about his future and how he will live life. Did he go to college? If not how can he provide for my daughter , if he impregnated her? And there child a man with passions. And NOT A BOY that just wants to play around like 90 percent of them... Cause of there age there maturity level will it be as high as it needs to be but there are certain people who can show there maturity at 20 .. and. That's the boy I want with my daughter

[AndreasM96]

Let's be honest, all those people talking about religious and perfect guys are simply living in another reality. Perfect men and women do not exist. I would want a mature, loyal and honest guy. Everything else he can try and work on as long as he respects my daughter and doesn't lie about it if he messes up, as long as he does not cheat. Everyone has a bad habit, it's up to us, however, whether we decide to work on it or not.

[Lliam]

A 20 year old woman is old enough to make her own decisions. I would be honored if she asked for my thoughts or opinions, but I wouldn't have a right to allow or forbid her from dating someone as if I owned her. If I raised her right, I would trust her judgement. But even then, people need to be allowed to make their own mistakes. That's how we learn.

[Screenwriter]

A father has to consider that his 20 year old daughter has to make her dating choices on her own. He can say he doesn't like so and so because of this and that. But a parent can't prevent his adult child from dating someone. You hope your child chooses someone who's gainfully employed, or in college, who's attractive, kind, has a good personality, and seems intelligent and well mannered.

[Anonymous]

As much as you can't stop them from dating anyone because the more you try the more they will go for it.

I hope my daughter will avoid douchebags, fake alpha meatheads, jocks, and basic scum males.
I will teach her that if a guy easily approahes her... it's because he does it to all women and it isn't "confidence"... it's a red flag.

80% of males won't approach a female unless it's the exact opertune situation and it will be awkward and weird, but he won't be a "creep" or suave and cool.
She will also want to do the approach if she see's a guy she likes because it's more likely to get her a boyfriend who isn't a douche.

[NYCstreetPhotog]

Pooh, this is one I've thought about a lot! Knee jerk reaction: I'll kill a guy if he doesn't treat my daughter (if when I have one) right... No joke, I'm very protective of family.

But, in all honesty, if she's happy with him, who am I to judge?

[Walrus_au]

Firstly, it's not about me ALLOWING her - she is her own person and will make and live with her own decisions.

I WILL however try to guide her with the wisdom of experience, to help her make a good one.

This all assumes she wants to date a guy.

Some requirements
They have to treat her well, with respect
They have to make her happy

That actually covers a lot of little stuff lumped together, that would be the key things.

[Rob19777]

he has to be financially and emotionally stable with a well paying job and income and emotionally stable and no jail record and especially no felonies and doesn't drink and drive and she would have to be the one to find out if he's cheated on any of his previous girlfriends before she's allowed to date him

[pizzalovershouse]

I think it's about who they choose to date you tell them they can't an they will sense at that age their an adult all you can do is how you taught them how to not settle for some 1 who doesn't exspect them to not do what job they like or who they have as friends cuz many times people settle for some 1 they think I will make into what I want them to be

[rievious]

Hm... if he at least tries to hold a conversation with you then that shows a lot about his character. As long as your daughter is safe and happy that's what truly matters. But if he either can't hold a conversation or doesn't even try then what's to happen in their future?

[boumka]

I have an absolute trust about my kids capacity of making decisions by themselves and she know I can give her shelter if anything goes wrong. As a father the only thing I should care about is my daughter's will.

[0112358]

I don't think I get a vote in who a 20 year old dates.

However this reminds me of some advice I was once given about raising daughters: "Be the sort of man you want her to end up with, because she probably will"

[mattdzz]

1. Has job, and either has an advanced degree or is working towards one (e. g. MBA, MD, etc.).
2. Has his own place.
3. Gets along well with parents
4. 4-8 years older than her, for maturity sake.
5. No kids with other women.
6. Has table manners
7. Physically strong enough to defend her
8. Talks about their future openly.

Also, I'm gonna be honest and say I wouldn't be ok with her dating a black guy, but White, Asian, Latino, Indian, Polar bear I'm ok with.

[Mikeymike81]

I would want her to have someone (man or woman) who loves her for who she is, who challenges her in a positive way to grow and evolve, who will support her emotionally and spiritually.
I don't care what he/she does for a living or how much money they makes or what they look like. As long as they are the right fit for who she is and who she wants to be.

[jacield]

College degree or in college. Good family values. If we teach our daughters their value and instill high quality standards in them we won't have to worry about their choices.

[AskJonNsa69]

Allow is probably too strong of word when it comes to a 20 yr old girl. By that time I would have hoped that I raised her with good values and a strong self worth. A girl that knows how to set boundaries and makes good decisions for herself. There’s not much you can do at that point except for hopefully have a good enough relationship with her where she might seek out your advice and council on dating occasionally

[Insomnia72]

Though I'm not a future father, I wouldn't dictate to my 20 yr old daughter who she can date. She's an adult. I would just advise her not to date certain men.

[ohshee]

Well I hope I raised her well enough. For 18 years that she would know what she was doing because if she asked I would give her advice the word Allow is not up to me it's up to her

[AlexanderBrunnrgaard]

Christian, responsible, driven, mature, a gentleman, a good education and plan for the future, strong and willing to be a leader.
And he must be someone that makes her happy.

[MzAsh]

Whoever she wants. You’ve had 20 years to raise her to know how to select from all of her interested candidates.

[SirRexington]

Allow? She's twenty... What I'd prefer is a guy who is supportive of her, protective and will fight for her, someone who is a little unique and has a personality and who isn't feminine.

[cheapshotbob]

a guy who didn't thin sex was what made the relationship that way there would be no lying or sneaking to see each other.

[redted]

As a mom and with my own experiences he's gotta be honest. If he's not honest, he'll cheat and lie. Also hard worker and good provider in the long run cause no woman wants to be run down by a man with lack of ambition

[Jackieboi]

Its none of my business she's an adult person. That said i would mind if she dated men and not "boys" or guys, but id keep it to myself, as long as the man isn't clearly taking advantage.

[Bman4907]

she's 20 years old, supposed to be an adult. Only thing I would physically put a stop to her dating is a guy that abuses her or takes advantage of her.

[Blue9577]

It should be someone that respects her, respects me, makes her happy, and is kind. Without respect, a relationship is doomed to fail, and without kindness, there can't be a healthy relationship.

[TacosRAwesome]

As a potential mother: someone who supports her plans and has plans of his own. Someone who respects others and treats them how they should be treated.

[Edanurus]

I would allow her to date whoever she wants at 20.

But for me to approve all I need is to see a little fear the first time I see him. If he can't at least show that then it tells me he doesn't really care.

[frostwalrus]

At the risk of not sounding a like a future father, I would only allow my daughter to incels.

[lightbulb27]

Respectful. Has good intentioms for family. Has career aspirations.

[slatyb]

A twenty-year-old woman is an adult. She can date whoever she pleases.

[LoU_Hades]

European, tall, handsome, reasonable and ambitious.

[ShiftAC]

A job, can hangout with the family, kind of kids and most importantly, have a nice smile.

[COMMODOREII]

If she is 20 already i have no say. She is an adult plus i would hope she was smart enough who to be with and who to stay away from. I would tell her how i feel if was abusive or wasn't a good man.

[Gedaria]

Having 4grown up ones. At 20, they make there own minds up and go after who they like. First thing you know is they tell you and then wait for them to come home dinner with him or her...

[someginger]

Anyone they want there 20 year old how can I not allow them to do anything?

[FreshOutaIdeas]

I sincerely don't want daughters, not because they're females, but because when I look around at the current crop of "men" in my generation, I would probably be putting many axes in many heads of guys that she brought home to show daddy...

[Ripper_E]

I won't allow her to date because I don't trust men lol

[andreasderjuengere]

I'm a 'former' father: she's 20: She makes own decisions. In my own case (then) I knew that I could trust her good judgement and wasn't worried at all. Rather curious :)

[nikkinac]

I always say in dating men should treat a prospective partner as they wish their daughter to be treated. You guys are teaching them what an acceptable way to be treated is through ur actions

[bamesjond0069]

I would expect him to be in his late 20s or older. Have a good career. Be physically fit athletic. He also should be principled and stand up for his beliefs. He should believe strongly in having a family and traditional gender roles. And of course a strong belief in God. Anything less I'd not tolerate him at all.

[Julian608]

I'd say honest at least to her if not everyone else. Im not going to control her but instead earn her trust to show what a trustworthy person is like.

[Capnjaques]

At 20 years old I'd expect her to be able to make that decision herself; hopefully choosing to be with someone that's good to her

[jamesgoldman]

They'd have to have a good life plan... college, career or self-employment... willing to show commitment

[ChiTown33]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't allow her to date till at least 36.

[BenThompson]

She's 20, it's not my decision. But I will judge her on her decision. My preference would conclude of a man, not a boy, but man. One that treats her well. One that treats her like she's the only woman in the world. How a queen deserves to be treated.

[Kit_Kat88]

At 20 years old, my mom drove out the guys I wanted to date hahaha

[elite665]

Hmmm honestly someone who arms like a nice genuine guy is fine just no low life scum rats

[Guffrus]

What choices my 20 year old anything makes are none of my fucking business.

[StephenCF]

The closest to a dandy that she can find. Sophisticated, intelligent, well-dressed 🎩👔🌂👫

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Well at 20 she is already an adult but I would perfer a good Christian man who loves her and does right by her in treating with respect and care.

[Liam_Hayden]

1. I cannot have children.
2. 20 is an adult, so I would not have the authority to "allow" or deny her to date whom she wants.

[BeardMagic]

It depends on so many things, but I think he would be honest and not shady. If he passes those two things I would be satisfied.

[KristaGrym]

Live the present kids the III World War is in the corner

[Anonymous]

I would allow her to date whoever she wants. I would want her to date someone who can take care of her, who treats her well and does try and control her.

[OddBeMe]

Respectful boy I would imagine. I didn’t actually respect my in laws but I knew to fake it. That shows I know boundaries and the hierarchy.