I want to date a guy who is about 10 years younger than me, and I'm lost as how to go about it?

I'm 29 and found an amazing man who's only 20! He's perfect for me in every way and I love his family! He's never had a girl friend either and he lives 7 hours away. I can see a long future with him but I don't even know how to go about to get one started. We have a ton of fun together but I think he doesn't even think of me in that way because of my age. I want to make a move but I don't want to scare him either since he's never even been on a date. What should I do and what do I need to do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Trust me, just because there is a 9 year age difference doesn't mean he cannot think of you as a potential girlfriend or want to be with you out of pure attraction. I have been chased and dated men much younger than me for some time now and THEY were the ones who did the chasing and asking, not the other way around.

    So, dating a younger man follows the same flow as dating a guy your age or older. I would say the key difference is you are interested in a guy who is in the prime non-relationship years. He may have no interest in all the responsibility that comes with a relationship or he will just be trying out relationships and dating for now and be unclear what he wants.

    So, while you can see so much with him, he needs to be able to say the same. You two live 7 hours apart and though you may be ready to see a long term relationship with him, I don't know that he is in the same place or he would have been making some sort of moves on you. Seriously, hormones would at least get the better of him if you two hang out.

    I say, just keep enjoying his company and see where it goes. Give it more time. What do you have to lose?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • As a 25 year old that has had few long term relationships, none of which I would call serious, I think you should initiate a date with him. I find myself attracted to older women because they seem to have a different set of morals and values than my age group or younger. You should at least try, and if it doesn't work you can move on to someone else. Experience in relationships will not matter if you meet the right person and age should not matter either. Don't listen to the haters and do what you think is right.

  • hmmm...I can smell a cougar here...

    considering you are better than him in bed that would be a learning experience for a 20 year old.

    and rest all I can say is...pray that he likes older women.

    perhaps for men in 20's(or for that matter all men)it's more about physical appearance...so dress yourself best...PLAY your cards right


What Girls Said 4

  • in all honesty, I don't think you should ask him out. it sounds like you guys have never dated so how do you know or think of all these things about him? you need to stop and take things slow. you also need to understand that while you are ready to settle down, are probably financially stable and on your own, he's more than likely not to be. he needs to grow up a bit and experience life and you need to let him. if he's still what you are looking for in a partner by the time he's at lest 24 then I would say go for him. lots of changes can happen in even a year when someone is that young and more than often those changes change the person to be totally different from what they were before (and who you fell for). also you don't want to become a sugar momma and take care of a little boy do you? if you date now that's more than likely figuring he doesn't have a steady job or even a career for that matter. and if you have kids, it'll be like taking care of 2 instead of having a supportive partner in life. you're going to do what you want in the end but think about what you'll be getting yourself into and good luck with what you do!

  • Ok... I am going to share a little bit of my personal experience with you. I am currently in a relationship with a guy 10 years younger than me, and let me tell you. I DONT REGRET ONE MINUTE WITH HIM! I don't know how much longer it will last but one think is for sure, it's the BEST experience by far... He is young and so full of life and energy is just, adorable! jajajaja He is funny and smart, I could go on and on ... We been together for 6 months is not that long, hey but is something. And to be truly honest with you, I wouldn't change him for anybody right this moment. It's funny, we are also far away like you guys and you know what? Is amazing! because communication becomes essential, we are in costant communication over phone, messenger, FB, you name it. I have had opportunities to date other guys and potential "husbands" with good jobs and stuff but I guess this is when you have to think about what YOU WANT. In my case, I don't think about marriage, I don't want kids, I would love to settle down with someone, don't take me wrong and be together, be faithful, and be his companion for ever! ajaja but is not something that I think about so much, am a diferent kind of woman, I guess.. for me life its about the beauty of moments and I thank God for having the opportunity of meeting my baby... literally my sweet, AWESOME BABYYY!

    On teh other hand, I understand when people tell you that he needs to learn and have more experiences, my guy was also unexperience in many aspects;o) and its been GREAT and an HONOR teaching him, plus he is fascinated by learning! ajjajajajaja I know that he needs to live, I understand that, and we have spoken about it and by the way he get really pissed when I say that, he says he doesn't need anyone else right now and that exactly how I feel.

    Good luck girl! and remember there will always be people against you! You are going to learn to live with the stupid opinions and comments, and ignore them. By the way, SEX IS GREAT!

  • I think you are too old for him, and don't make moves on a 20 year old who lives 7 hours away. he has much to learn before being in a relationship , who is at a different place in life and I am assuming you don't want to have a relationship that has a potential of not turning in to marriage. He hasn't had a date or girlfriend, let him learn how to get one and experience things. find someone your age

    • The reason why I would agree with arse is because he doesn't have much experience, not because you're "too old." I have a friend who's in the same position (young guy with older woman) and they're set to marry next year. They're doing great.

      Anyways, my friend has dated a while but yours hasn't and so I would assume that he also wouldn't really have the same ideas as you would because of the age difference. If he is mature enough then you should try it. If not, then probably not.

    • Show All
    • I didn't*

    • o just noticed 29, that is even a bigger age difference

  • Your distance alone is a challenge, but a 9 year age gap? I'm 24 and have dated a 20 year old. I'd compare it to babysitting.

    The maturity level isn't near what you would need it to be. You're pretty much 30 and will probably want to start thinking about the future, marriage, kids, etc. Men at 20 usually do not think about these things, as they are in that "grown teenager stage". If you were 40 and he was 30 it would be a different story.