The transition from online to offline?

I've been talking to a guy online for a few months now... By the time I actually meet him in person (he's moving to my city), it will have been 9 months... We are already quite serious about each other, but I've never had to transition from this online to offline thing before... I'm used to just dating in person.

So my question is how does this work? I mean our first date will happen after we've been saying "I love you" for months. So kissing on the first date is kind of different, considering our background... But at the same time, meeting in person for the first time could be kind of awkward... Get what I mean?

We want to take things slowly (physically), but we're already moving so quickly on the emotional/verbal displays of affection front, that I'm kind of confused about where we'll stand and what are/are not proper expectations to have of physical progression, and also the whole girlfriend/boyfriend title thing. I mean titles don't matter all that much to me, but I feel like after pouring our hearts out to each other for almost a year, should I expect things to progress from "dating" to "serious relationship" more quickly, since we're basically already in the "serious relationship" mentality, minus having the relationship? lol...

I guess I'm just really nervous and don't want to expect too much or too little.. I'm getting all worked up because I care so much about him but I don't want to scare him away.

What have your experiences been with this type of situation?

Thanks! :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've been through this a couple times and yes you should expect some awkwardness when you actually meet. The simple fact is that what you know in your head doesn't change the fact that people have to become physically comfortable with each other on a gut level, and there hasn't been any interaction in person before so you'll be starting from scratch. It might seem a bit jarring because mentally and emotionally you feel a connected but you will feel strange just kissing and holding hands right away. The first time you meet should be relatively short compared to a normal date - maybe just meet up for coffee or a meal so you get that first shot of physical presence out of the way. Then your subconscious works on that for a couple days and you meet again and it should feel more normal. By a third or fourth date (assuming there isn't some barrier that comes up such as someone lying about a physical appearance issue or perhaps a very disturbing behavior/habit the other person has that was previously unknown) it should feel very normal.

    Just go slow and be patient with each other.

    • Haha. Finding out that the other person had lied about their physical appearance would be immensely awkward! But we've seen plenty of pictures of one another, so I can't see that being an issue in our progression. Anyway, I understand what you're saying. I think that's a good idea, keeping the first date short. Thanks for your insight!

    • I find this answer extremely helpful. I met a guy online talked for months and finally met up in person. Was exactly that jarring feeling you explained. Even though he was exactly what I expected it was weird trying to connect someone you've met for the first time with the person you've been talking to for so long. It actually kinda spooked me, I wish I'd read something like this sooner! (Although we've resolved things now). I liked this answer a lot!

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What Guys Said 1

  • well its never easy to make an online relationship to offline but if you really do love eacj other then there be no problem

    but before progressing to physical you hav to be little protective as it will not sam like online you have to be with him not just on pc or mobiles


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