👏 In short there selfish
I commend the for the best reply to the question yet ma'am. 👏👏👏👏👏
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Meh, both sexes have double-standards, they just don't acknowledge that and only notice the ones that they personally don't like. They all really come from the differences in what men and women want from the opposite sex, and they'll never go away.
Men don't get flak for sleeping around a little bit (if its a lot they very much do). However the only one you can blame are women as women will absolutely judge a man who has not had sex or had a few sexual partners. Its not sexism its biology, women want men vetted before they take a risk on him, men have no ability to tell if a child is theirs and so the only way they can be certain is if she is a virgin or has very very few partners. Its not really a double standard as the circumstances are different and the people pushing these values are two different groups looking for two different things.
@hellionthesagereborn I was not gonna reply until I read "men have no ability to tell if a child is theirs". What year is it again? Oh, that's right 2020. It's not the stone age buddy, dna tests are readily available at any hospital. If in doubt, take a hair from your head, some spit of the baby, and find out. I'm all for waiting, but your reasons just make no sense. Circumstances are different for both sexes, but don't try to deny that there is a double standard. A girl will sleep with 3 guys and "that's a lot" but a guy can sleep with 12 girls and there's nothing wrong with it. Like I mentioned, people either have a traditional or a liberal approach to it. Side note, but biologically women want confident, pack-building, dominant males, and it has nothing to do with a vetting process. Unconsciously we browse and select the most desirable mate available. Typically, those guys have some experience, but it isn't a requirement, as you put it. I feel like what you're saying is just so twisted. Please read up on the topic.
Okay but what does the year have to do with biology? Our biological inclination and social structure that comes from it doesn't update that quickly. Your arguing that because of a technology that is about twenty years old (at least being available to the public) exists it trumps the about six million years of evolution that got us to were we are now. Everything you are is based upon that. You like tall men, that's because it was a sign of having acess to good resources (better diet equals increased in height). That isn't an issue anymore, doesn't stop you from finding it attractive. Having a man be a protector and seem strong is attractive to you, its completely irrelevant that we have guns and have had them for hundreds of years, your still biologically driven to find that attractive because for six million years that was the only thing that stood between you and death. This is a simple fact.As for double standards, again, their isn't. I mean by your rational you have a double standard against men (many of them). Again as I pointed out women don't date men who have not had sex, that is a double standard then, you are creating a double standard, will you admit to that?(No, because no woman owns up to their "double standards").
Again, its not a double standard women say men should sleep around and then let them, men say they don't like women sleeping around and refuse to date them, that is not a double standard. Also we know for a fact that sleeping around is detrimental for a woman, more so then a man (and no, I am no advocating for men to sleep around) so again, their is a reason for it just as their is a reason why women shy away from men who don't have a lot of sex. Again, its not a double standard and complaining that men having standards is bad but ignoring the standards women place on men is just insane. As for how often men sleep around, not many do. Some do definitely but most do not and on average men and women have similar body counts. Also yes, women absolutely virgin shame men all the time, its their go to insult. You can be dominant and not have sex, that's kind of an absurd idea to claim that those are mutually bound traits. Also yes women do not trust a guy who hasn't been with a woman because she assumes something is wrong with him as he clearly hasn't been chosen by a woman before (and also why women seem more attracted to married men because again, they have been vetted (women abhore risk).
@hellionthesagereborn Everyone has traits that they like, and yes it does have to do with evolution, but you can't deny that recently available technology has changed how we date, and live in general. If you forgot any preventive form of contraception while sleeping with a girl, wouldn't you get plan B or the morning after pill? We roll differently now, not in terms of WHAT we want, but more so HOW we go about it. Evolution will always control the route of the species (until genetic engineering becomes a thing, I guess) However, my point still stands, what we want biologically isn't associated with our morals or values, because biology is instinctive. It's a psychological itch and a feeling, more so than a controlled decision. Maybe our views have to do with our age gap, because personally I don't find a virgin guy a bad mate, many of the boys my age still are, but I guess that isn't normal at yours? Probably. I will admit that there are double standards that go both way. Of course there are double standards, for men as well as for women, but I guess that's just life. The world isn't perfectly round, and it turns on a tilted axis.
I'm not suggesting technology didn't change how we interact, I'm saying technology doesn't change our natural impulses. Its allowed for greater casual sex but we can see that its had negative impact on people (many studies have shown it, especially for women). The fact that the technology lets us indulge ourselves doesn't mean it alters our responses to the behavior. For example fatty and sugary foods, our brains are wired to want it because in nature its rare. Technology however has made it very common so what has happened? Obesity has skyrocketed as has type 2 diabetes and heart disease etc. Our bodies did not alter simply because our technology allowed us to over indulge. Same thing with men, just because technology has allowed for promiscuity doesn't mean that they are particularly thrilled with being with a promiscuous woman for a relationship. Just like how women are not clamoring to date a short poor guy even though he is taller and wealthier then our ancestors were because she is wired to go for a very specific trait compared to other men. Its biology. I mean your dismissing this by saying these are traits people like, but it not something you decided, its biological in nature. As for virgins, no most women will not date a man who is a virgin. Obviously your age is the exception but get ten years down the line and that man would be completely ostricised by women. It is what it is. I'm not saying its good or bad, I'm just saying it is (believe me I would be thrilled if the double standards didn't exist and my income didn't matter or my height or anything else, but such is life).
You're talking as if women don't put a shit ton of standards for men to attain.TallFull head of hairChiseled jawSo they really can't talk.
I’m not talking so much about physical standards because those will always be unattainable to some and not to others. I’m talking about the way women should always look a certain way but should not show the work behind it. Men want to have this idea of the pure woman that’s effortlessly beautiful while that is simply not the case.
Well i dont think its wrong to be a hypocrite. In fact that is evidence someone learned their lesson. I would never marry a girl who slept around, and i have in fact slept around a lot. Two wrongs dont make a right and it would be wrong for me to marry a girl who had slept around. That being said i wouldn't be upset if someone had an issue about it because personally i wouldn't date a girl version of me.
@bamesjond0069 WHAT? So what makes you think you're getting married? Let alone be able to stay married? No woman in her right mind wants somebody who thinks like you. That's why you stay single. You're a fornicator and so are they. They're better off without you. You cannot give such judgement.
You don't have to think its wrong, but it is hurting your chances of being with a woman who wants to stay. Guess you'll go bar hoe hopping because that's the only way now to really get somebody for sex basically and not a marriage.
Huh? I have a girlfriend. We met at church. Lmao.
You having a girlfriend means what? Nothing. If she doesn't want to marry you or divorce you God forbid you'll know.
She does want to marry me. Lol. I am not sure i want to marry her yet. She had sex with one guy before me and she slept with me too quickly. id prefer a virgin or at least a girl that makes me wait.
@bamesjond0069 So in other words, you're USING her? Well, I pray to God you get found out. You're a freaking F*boy!
I don't know yet. Plus I also didn't know when we 1st started dating. Most of the time people don't tell you their personal sexual history on the 1st date.
@bamesjond0069 You had sex with her quickly. You just said it’s ok to be a hypocrite Bc it means you learned. But you haven’t changed. You are still having sex before you think it is ok. and instead of having any ability to take accountability for your own actions you blame it on her being too easy. It’s your Responsibility to not be a slut if it offends you. Not hers. And if it Doesn’t offend you To personally have sex too soon you just use it as a test and set people up then you absolutely have not changed. And being a hypocrite is BEING one in the moment. not having had made mistakes Then changing later and holding others to your current standards. No one wants to date a hypocrite. She may want to marry you but she Doesn’t know how you really think. You are judging her for something YOU willingly did. That’s insane 🤷♀️She doesn’t know how you think so her wanting to marry you is under false pretenses. It’s not a real relationship.Try being honest with her , see how she feels.
@VIVANT i did tell her i thought she was a slut. And she was upset that i thought that of her. And she still wants to be with me because im fucking awesome and can get away with freaking anything.
And i said i doubt id ever marry you or commit to you. But im hot and rich and have a big dick and as much as im A huge ass hole I'm also very sweet and responsible many times. So like I said before girls never care about my history at all. I care about a girl's history. It's their fault they don't care about mine.
@bamesjond0069 Right so like I said. No moral high ground. And you clearly are attracted to foolish women. You guys deserve each other. All the best.
@bamesjond0069 You were the one claiming it’s good to be a hypocrite bc you learn from your mistakes. I can get away with anything bc I’m awesome and have a big duck “What exactly are you learning. You sound like a child. I don’t mean that as an insult at all. You literally sound like a child.And that is not atttwcyuve to save people. Yoir girlfriend will either grow up and realize you have issues, or she will accept all your crap and you’ll reject her for that. Bc really who wants to be with someone wherein you can say to them “I’ll 💩 all over you bc I can and they say “please do just don’t leave me”.No one wants to marry that person. It’s as if you are intentionally getting yourself into situations where you don’t want to be in a relationship. Prob bc the idea of rejection frightens you so you make sure to find excuses to leave first. If she’s real there’s no way you will marry her. Even if she wants to marry. You don’t respect her. And never will. Not after the crap you pulled.
Its your fault that it exists because you don't hold men accountable for sleeping around.And just because the guys you have been with have had more partners than you doesn't mean this applies to most guys.You have 80% of women chasing the top 20% of men so naturally the most handsome guys will have a large partner counts whereas average looking or ugly guys have very few.It makes no sense to expect an average looking guys who's had 2 partners to commit to an average looking girl who's had 8. I mean he can if he wants to, but he'd be quite stupid in my opinion.
No, it’s a standard set by men based on a of religious beliefs and just plain history. It’s not my job to babysit your penis. You stick it where you want, but you can’t also be mad that we sleep with whoever we want before we even know by you exist. Men like you need to grow up. Hold yourself accountable.
If women don't hold men accountable for sleeping around them then its their fault.You cannot tell me or any other guy what to do. I am free to refuse commitment to any woman who has slept more than x amount of guys.The only thing you can do is to adopt the same mentality and refuse to date guys who have slept with more than x amount of women.
@Shuri if its not my business who y'all had fun with before me... its not your business if i just want to fuck a few times and break it off and not give you a ring. 🤷♂️ there is a reason why guys are players... im a player with any girl not a virgin and i treat virgins completely different because i respect them.
If she has a history of enjoying that lifestyle why would she not return to that soon as she gets bored. It’s not just about diseases.
@dmgstarfleet Just because someone enjoys casual sex and relationships it doesn’t mean they can’t settle down with someone. It doesn’t always translate to being a wh*re. There are plenty of people like me in commited relationships where we have a trust and agreement to be with other playmates if we so desire and it doesn’t effect things in the slightest. Your argument is dog shit
Bloodflow15 sounds like its your time of the month (perfect screename for you). Why don't you put on your cuckold horns and go clean her up from her last dalliance. You are PATHETIC!
@dmgstarfleet real mature way to handle things ;) you sound just as edgy as I did making my email some years ago. And contrary to your belief, I do not menstruate anymore. Thank you, come again.
Oh, so you just "identify" as a male. Thought so
If you don't want to marry a guy cuz of past casual relationships that's your choice, just like it's a guys choice to marry a women because of her past casual relationships
Exactly nacho, I agree 100%
Not to marry* You got the point anyway.@Caleb103 cheers
Honestly nacho I didn't even notice that you forgot the not until I read your response to me
Lol, shows you really knew what I was saying then, much appreciated
@Nachowedgie ok i agree that if you dont want to marry a guy because of a past causual relationship, thats fine. but i dont think you should let that be a huge factor that will determine wether or not you date them.
Men and woman are certainly not alike when it comes to sexual partner count. You have 80% of women only interested in the top 20% of men. So naturally the most good looking guys will have large partner count whereas average looking and ugly guys will have very few.It makes no sense for an average looking guy who's had 2 partners to commit to an average looking girl who's had 10+ partners just because she's done having her fun and is ready for commitment.Just like I couldn't date a girl who makes more money than me, I can't date a girl who's had more sex than me.
Asker... i know. Its true. I've slept with about 230 girls. But i only date mostly hot young virgins or maybe they had sex with like one or two guys. So im one of those guys running down the women as a whole while simultaneously taking the best ones for myself.
Not many hot young virgins, if they are hot, its guarnteed they are not virgins. Especially nowadays. So good luck
Everyones a virgin until they aren't. Luckily i live in a very traditional area of the country and with a lower age of consent. So i can date virgins sometimes. Its still hard but no hymen no diamond. The fact its harder to get one is irrelevant. If i can't get one ill just be a playa forever.
Same goes on for men.
@Primrose21 True, just that men are more sensitive to this because (according to evolutionary psychology) when women cheat, we can't tell when they get pregnant by other men. If a man cheats, you never have to deal with the baby. If we impregnate other women it isn't as damaging because you never have to deal with raising another womans' kid like how we unknowingly raise other mens' babies. Women cry double standard but there is a reason we don't like sluts.. We never know their lie..
Guys don't have to practice what they preach since women don't hold them accountable for sleeping around.
Asker yes thats true. They dont care at all.
@asker most girls care.
I've slept with over 200 girls and literally am in porn videos online. I tell every girl i date the 100% truth. Not one girl ever left me afterwards. y'all dont care at all.
@bamesjond exactly sluts won't care. Virgins or girls who don't have casual sex won't ignore that. We don't like mansluts. Keep believing what you want to believe.
I almost exclusively date virgins. And i only date girls from church. Still not a problem.
@bamesjond I don't even think they're virgins by choice. I am one and I LOATHE mansluts.
So you think a 17 year old girl at church who says she is waiting until marriage is lying and not a virgin? Smh. Ok.
They're not sleeping with you and 17 year olds are too young to know what's a low quality man (you)
Lmao girls love me because im hot and rich.
*Gold diggers love you. Any woman who isn't one will hate you.
The don't guys that have had casual sex.
Im sorry but I have no idea what you're saying
If you meet a guy and find out he's had casual sex before, reject him. Give him the same treatment.But of course you won't.Since this is not something girls hold guys accountable for.
Well I mean Id reject him either way regardless of how many people he's at sex with
From what I've seen, the opposite is true. The guys who aren't interested in and/or feel left out of the casual sex scene would rather pair up with somebody starting at their own level of sexual experience. It's not necessarily a good or a bad thing if the numbers were even between the genders and it were easy to determine who belongs to which group haha
@DonCachondo yeah but even experienced men want virgins. The thing is they are more likely to get them. Its the guys who have no experience end up wifing a ho.
Its a double standard created by women because women don't hold men accountable for sleeping around.
not sure if anyone else is supposed to be accountable for your own actions but yourself. and i highly doubt the fact that a lot of women have a lower body count as apposed to men is because of men’s preference. people do whatever the heck they want and still want what they prefer. men or women
Bottom line is that men judge women for sleeping around, women don't judge men for sleeping around. Thats why the double standard exists.If you want to even the playing field, instead of asking men to stop judging (wont happen!) start judging yourself.Maybe reject guys who have been with more than 5 or so girls, just a thought.
In which world do do you live where women don't judge fuck boys? Women who don't sleep around would judge them very badly and women who do sleep around casually would not judge them since it would be hypocritical. The difference here is, that men judge women regardless of what they are doing themselves.Meaning a guy who fucks a different women every month would also just take a good girl for his wife which in turn is hypocritical. So where is the problem with women again?
@becks3 thats me. I used to work in porn and have slept w 3 digit amount of women. But i would never date a girl who slept with more than 5 guys EVER. And mostly i date virgins. I know how important it is and so i go for whats important.
@bamesjond0069 and you're proud of that? Wow, talk about having your cake and eating it too. The women are good enough to fuck them in "3 digit counts" but "too dirty" for you to lay a hand on otherwise. I hope for you that none of your "chosen" women and virgins say the same thing about you.
@becks3 "The women are good enough to fuck them in "3 digit counts" but "too dirty" for you to lay a hand on otherwise."Exactly. Now you're learning. 99% of the ones i fucked were sluts so just total trash undateable girls.
@bamesjond0069 yeah but you're not trash and undateable? You are true mysoginist and I don't even like using the word but never have I ever met someone who would fit the description perfectly. I wish the girls with you start to realise what views you have sooner than later and consider you as the same "trash". And FYI I am not a person who sleeps around. I just find hypocrisy and double standards laughable and disgusting.
@becks3 the overall marketplace of girls decided if im undateable and i have no problem dating plenty of girls when im single. So i guess that means im dateable.Whats wrong with a double standard? Why do men have to earn more? Im just going to tell my girlfriend tomorrow that i quit working and will stay home to cook and clean, lmao she would dump my ass and rightfully so. But women can do that. Why dont you be a lesbian if you hate double standards so much?
How can u call self morals as insecurity? Not everyone have the same morals and values as yours. The only one I see insecure in here is you tbh.
@Primrose21 She would find any potential boyfriend who would consider her having sex with 100 guys a turn off as simply "insecure." What does that even matter, she would ask, "the past is the past." I'm sure cheaters would say the same.
primrose21 me insecure? how so?
@mattdzz what do cheaters have to do with this conversation?
You're saying any concern with what your partner has done in the past is simply insecurity, and I drew a parallel of how a cheater could say the same.
@mattdzz Yes, I got that. im just trying to understand this parallel that you are drawing.
The parallel would cause a partner take pause, perhaps not trust or respect the person who engaged in what is for all intents and purposes LEGAL, but immoral, and generally what plenty of people do. I don't see the difficulty here.
@mattdzz what I’m getting is your mind is looking for more reasons to NOT be with someone than to actually get to know and decide if they are the type person you are interested in/attracted to, based on who they are in the here and now.I like intelligent guys, when my boyfriend was 10, 15, 20 years old he may have failed math or dropped out of college for a time or some such thing but in the here and now, I see him as a well rounded, intelligent guy. Life takes people on all sorts of journeys and hopefully most live, learn and grow over time. I’m much less interested in the problems, shortcomings or issues he may have had in the past but quite enamored with the man he has become in the present.
A girls willingness to engage in casual sex, with many people shows more than a lapse in judgement in those times, or perhaps an exploratory period. It shows a lack of character, and a persisting affect that has been clinically shown to decrease their marital satisfaction, increase chance of divorce, and increase likelihood of having an affair. It is completely reasonable, even a good idea for a guy to not engage in a relationship with a girl who has engaged in such.
@mattdzz you are sorely mistaken but I see that any further interaction with you will not educate you beyond your predisposed assumptions. I bid you a farewell and good luck.
ifstudies.org/.../counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stabilityFood for thought.
@mattdzz fabulous but everything I’ve just said is also “food for thought”.
You're right, your feelings must be given equal weight to empirical studies... I'll get to deeply considering your feelings.
@mattdzz my feelings? You must mean my imperial studies. I’m glad to hear you’re mind is expanding.
Imperial? Impressive, your highness.
@mattdzz “Empirica”. Damn autocorrect
Unless you've conducted your own, that you neglected to mention, I don't see any other that you've pointed to. Yea, autocorrect sucks.
@mattdzz I’m going off your your comment of balancing my comments to your “empirical” studies. Emperical- 1 : originating in or based on observation or experience 2 : relying on experience or observation alone often without due regard for system and theory
In any social science research, empirical study is the compilation of observation (e. g. survey data), hopefully of a sample representing the population under study, and deriving data from said observations (e. g. statistics of observed phenomena, causal links, correlations, etc.) that can be applied to trends/ attributes of the larger population. What you're alluding to is more in line with anecdote, but perhaps just your own ideas of how people work (which I reassert is NOT the same as empirical research/ observations).
@mattdzz I didn’t just make up the definition that I posted, furthermore any group that touts themselves as “ .. impeccably researched studies” I will take with a grain of salt.
Certainly, those with a small-n aren't as reputable as those with a large-n, which is why statistical models (based off empirical studies, not theoretics) are given more credence than case studies (which are good for hypothesis generating, not testing), but I was simply asserting that it's fine if you simply don't believe the studies I've cited, you just haven't given me any to provide an antithesis.