The "Pull Away" deal.....Is this what this is??

I have been friends with a guy I met through a mutual friend for about 5 years now.. He's great. Funny, always happy. I always thought of him like the funny cute brotherly type... even though he's flirted and asked me out on occasion. I always just kind of laughed it off. He would text asking me out and I would just ignore it. Anyway, I saw him the other day and all of a sudden started to think of him differently. We chatted for awhile, and a little later I sent him a flirty text. He replied immediatly, and we went back and fourth for awhile. He kept asking me to go out and I tried to resist because of the friend thing..I didn't want to ruin it. The next day he text me plain and simple "Have dinner with me tonite"...I had a family obligation, so I offered to get together after and have a drink. He was eager and very excited. We met, talked, and he kept saying he didn't want to leave. Finally we did, he walked me to my car. We kissed and he was such a gentleman. The next couple of days we texted back and fourth and even met up another night. We had the greatest time. He was talking about things for us to do in the summer together, and even at one point put my first name with his last name and asked how it sounded. He text me again the next am to tell me that he had a great time, and hoped he wasn't too annoying (assuming by the way he was talking). I told him he was fine and that I had fun too. That last night he kept asking me to go out that weekend. I said "yeah ...ok." That was Wed night we went out...he text me the last text Thurs am. didn't hear from him until I text him on Sat. He immediatly responded. He was like "hey what are you up to later?" I replied "nothing"...He replied "im going out for dinner with my best friend and another guy." I asked him "um so you made plans with me, then made other plans?" He immediatly was profusely apologizing and offered for me to come out with them. I said "no go ahead have a good time and ill catch up another time..." He replied with "you are more than welcome to come...I am so sorry I'm such an idiot sometimes." He then text me later and said they were back at his place watching movies and offered for me to come wach with them. I declined as I was already in bed. We said our good nights. I texted him the next day and we went back and fourth. Nothing too interesting, just told him I wanted to say hello. He did keep the convo going, but then was going to bed (it was pretty late) he had work in the am and that he would talk to me tomorrow. So now it's been 2 days and nothing. I'm NOT texting or calling anymore. He is very much a guys guy and I read the "rubber band theory" in which I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and see what happens. I had told him flat out I didn't plan on sleeping with him before we even went out. He insisted that it wasn't what he was looking for from me at all. He knew that I wasn't like that, and that's what he liked so much abt me.

Ugh...3 days and nothing! I never thought I'd feel like this about this person! I'm so confused. All these possibilities are going through my head. He does have kids, so he most certianly could be busy with that. On the other hand, how busy could you possibly be to send a "hello" here and there? The last time I saw him, in his driveway after I dropped him home he was telling me how amazing I was..he even walked to the door and I saw him just watch me drive away in my mirror.
I mean...he IS a friend first and foremost. Iv'e known him a long time, and he is known to be "the shoulder to cry on" in this group of friends. I'm thinking maybe a couple more days and text to see what's up...I don't know. What do you think guys? He does actually for real hunt. Maybe he's like that with women too? This game is so stupid. it's been a week since I actually talked to him via text. I had text him last Fri and told him I was free later if he wanted to get together to give me a call. Nothing. No yes no NOTHING! I deleted his # and any other way for me to possibly get a hold of him. I just don't get it. I know I shouldn't be stressing, but I am.


Most Helpful Guy

  • So you messed with this guy's head for 5 years and now he's messing with yours? Sucks doesn't it...

    It sounds like he's interested... so let him have his day or two between texts... he'll keep in touch...

    • Well, I was in a bad relationship at the time he kept asking me to go out, and he knew that. That was kinda why I kept turning him away. Plus I really did value our friendship. Going on day 3 and nothing :(

    • Show All
    • So today I text him..." are you still alive?" He answered back within like 5 min "hahaha yes I'm alive...are you alive?" I said " ;) just checking". Then he asked if I was working today..and said something about how bad he wanted to go fishing...I just asked is it even fishing season yet, and he said "for me it"... then I just stopped. I don't know where to go from here. HELP! I'd like to ask him to do something tomorrow, but I don't know if I should just wait.

    • well if you want to invite him to do something with you then why not just do that? if he says he cant, then ask him when a good time would be. if he doesn't throw out some alternative dates, just forget about him, he's not really interested and he's just messing with you. If he wants to hang out with you he'll make an effort to make that happen.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Well, you already know the rubber band theory.


What Girls Said 1

  • Whats this rubber band theory?

    I think You Should just wait... He must call If he is still interested and he was pretty interested before so why would he change now?

    Hang on...

    • The "rubber band theory" is from the book Men are from Mars...Women are from Venus. It says that when Men get close to a woman, they feel as if they loose some of thier independence, and have to "pull away" to gather themselves and think abt the situation or whatever and come back like a rubber band. You however, if you start "nagging" as to why he has pulled away it's kind of pushing him away and following the rubber band which in turn won't spring back. I'm on day 3 no word from him. Sucks

    • Gee I hope this theory make some sense...maybe he prefers to be alone anyway...Just hang on if he is hooked he will talk to you :)

      Good luck

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