Why does he always tell me he'll break up with me if I don't hang up?

Why did he act this way?

my boyfriend worked till 1:45am last night (he is a manager at a very busy pub he is 26).i popped in last night briefly and he said he would call me the next day. he hadn't called by 4:30 and I had to go to work.

he popped on fb chat so I talked to him I told him to call me but he kept talking on that. so I called him he wasn't in the mood to talk. and when I asked why he hadn't been calling anymore he got angry and defensive. when he has a bad night at work he is usually grumpy and tired the next day and retreats to himself.

his friends had been contacting him to hang out too but he annoyed them. he said it was annoying that I call him every day. I only call once a day, we don't get to see each other much becuase we work so much.

he then told me he would break up on me if I didn't hang up becuase he knew the phone call would drag on and he was tired and wanted to chill out. he always says this because he knows it will hurt me and I would do anything for him to not break up on me.

why did he act this way?

and no don't tell me to leave him, becuase I don't want to.

we used to work together, until a month ago. last decemeber we fought heaps it was the busy Xmas function period. I felt a little insecure at this point becuase all these girls were popping up that he knew that I hadn't known of for the whole realtionship. and a girl he had once slept with before me got a job at our work, and it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. at this point in time he took back that he loved me, he broke up with me once in jan and once at the beginning of march,
because he wanted space, and for me to not hassle him, and he didn't want a full on relationship anymore, but still wanted to go out with me and be exsclusive, becuase he said he didn't have time for a propper realtionship. he also didn't want to work together anymore.

i got a new job a month ago, but I really need to hear that he loves me again, being in a realtionship with someone who used to say it all the time and can't say it anymore really hurts and I don't understand why he is with me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He has a stressful job, working in a loud pub where he probably has to deal with a lot of drunks and other c888... . Like you said he is grumpy when he has a bad day and likes to retreat - that is understandable, you are being to clingy and needy and he doesn't need the added worries.. being demanding when he isn't in the mood will only push him away, he may have other issues with his job that he has to sort out on his own.

    Just let him have a few days space every now and again, you can text him send him sweet messages once in a while (not too many) just to keep in touch to show you care and there when he is ready for you, try to be understanding and supportive of his needs right now, I'm sure he will be grateful that you are patient with him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Hey come on..u dnt need to leave him for this...and no need to think so far either, like ending a relationship...I think your guy is caught up In his job so much that at times he shows his frustrations on you...tats all..just chill..k...Give him some space,he needs that now...dnt worry if he truly loves you he wnt leave you...meet him when he is not at job..Be patient,things will turn around...keep smiling...Gud luck .


What Girls Said 2

  • If you didn't call him once a day, would he call you? I'm not saying dump him, but wouldn't you rather be in a relationship with someone who can't get enough of you. You are his girlfriend, you should be the person he wants to get comfort from after a stressful day.

    On the other hand, it sounds like you are smothering him. Unless he told you specifically to visit him at work, you shouldn't do it. Give him space for a few days. If you don't here from him move on. You'll know next time not to be so clingy.

    • From your updates, he sounds like a jerk.. you can't change someones feeling for you, if giving space does not change things with him, it will only hurt you in the long run. You need to decide what you want from him, what he can give you.. where you stand.. perhaps you should just have a heart to heart chat , express what you need from him ask him what he wants from you and decide whether a future is possible.. if you cling on you may just be on the road to getting hurt by him again. good luck.

    • oops sorry pressed wrong comment box

  • Give the guy some space to breathe. Let him come to you. You're smothering him. And forget the crap about, "and no don't tell me to leave him, because I don't want to." You said that because you know that's the automatic answer.

    • no its just that everyone on here always says stuff like that on peoples questions. and if that was the answer they wanted to hear or do then they wouldn't be asking the question in the first place. I don't see how calling once a day is a problem

    • Calling once a day is only a problem if he's not calling you the same amount.

    • Why don't you wait a few days until he calls you? Maybe it will be sooner then you think and you'll know that he doesn't mind it...